Funny Names

October 6, 2003 8:10 PM

What Did You Say Your Name Was? I mean, would you buy a Freud book from this man?
posted by MiguelCardoso (30 comments total)

Sometimes a wank is really just a wank.
posted by elwoodwiles at 8:25 PM on October 6, 2003

Gaye Males
posted by scarabic at 8:39 PM on October 6, 2003

...or ask lubrication advice from this man?
posted by taz at 8:48 PM on October 6, 2003

via Bifurcated Rivets?
posted by tomharpel at 8:59 PM on October 6, 2003

Oops, yes it is. As almost always. Thanks, tomharpel!
posted by MiguelCardoso at 9:09 PM on October 6, 2003

The second link, I mean.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 9:11 PM on October 6, 2003

Would you buy a tool from these folks?
posted by samuelad at 9:13 PM on October 6, 2003

I think it was Gallagher who said that the Wang computer company chose that name so when the stock market report came on they'd have to say "Wang is up!" or "Wang is down!"
posted by mr_crash_davis at 9:41 PM on October 6, 2003

There's a poor kid in my mom's second grade class named Roman Empire.
posted by emmling at 12:00 AM on October 7, 2003

There's a man in the town where I live who goes by the name of Hans Glans.
posted by misteraitch at 12:03 AM on October 7, 2003

misteraitch, I hope everyone shows him vast deference.
posted by taz at 12:50 AM on October 7, 2003

people i have known:

crystal chandel lear
ty alan down
ali ali
crac downes
dwayne pipe
wayne kerr

a man in a nearby town to my parents changed his name to blue suede shoes, and someone else in the same town christened their daughter with one first name for every letter of the alphabet.

my favourite:

randy bender

and my own name is paul e. ester*

*this is not true
posted by nylon at 2:40 AM on October 7, 2003

I, of course, can do nothing more than wish Mr. Wank all the best - and the same to all like-minded souls...

(And where oh where is that comprehensive list of drag queen names I just spent twenty minutes searching for, cause it's not here?! Tequila Mockingbird, Anita Mann, Devoida Taste, Lois Carmen Denominator but no Cherry Dandee?!... Oh, Ruby Rims, we hardly knew ye...)
posted by JollyWanker at 5:44 AM on October 7, 2003

A professor at a college in my hometown was named Titus Guenther. It still seems particularly euphonious to me...
posted by Johnny Assay at 6:05 AM on October 7, 2003

One summer I temped at the operations center for a local bank, processing requests for checking cards. I kept track of the strange names that came through. The top three were:

Zolton L. Cheeseborough
Britus W. Twitty, III
Etmonia P. Bass

No foolin'.
posted by starvingartist at 6:44 AM on October 7, 2003

Britus W. Twitty, III

Three of Britus would be Brita, which is a water filter!
posted by kindall at 6:50 AM on October 7, 2003

Met at a conference, couldn't keep my eyes off his nametag:

Dick Rash

No foolin'.
posted by tr33hggr at 6:59 AM on October 7, 2003

I've known an April Gayle, a Sandy Valllee, a Kitty Brown and an Ivy Green.

And in the Canadian House of Commons, we have MPs named Art Hanger and Inky Mark.
posted by orange swan at 8:26 AM on October 7, 2003

I'm not, of course, calling double post on this, because it's a totally different link. But since the main purpose of this thread is to elicit weird names people have come across, maybe everyone should check out the earlier ones so this doesn't become a duplicate. Frinstance:

I can't believe I forgot about these. I temped once at the operations center for a bank here in Cleveland, processing applications for checking cards. I kept a list of weird names - the top three were Zolton L. Cheeseborough III, Britus W. Twitty, and Etna P. Bass.
posted by starvingartist at 9:37 AM PST on November 16

(Incidentally, none of those three have left any further traces in the world, as far as Google can determine.)
posted by languagehat at 8:38 AM on October 7, 2003

Man, I got those names all screwed up, didn't I? It was years and years ago, and I don't even know where that list is now.
posted by starvingartist at 9:09 AM on October 7, 2003

I used to work in a mail room. Some of the names the names I saw were ridiculous. One of my favorites was a gentleman named Walter King who insisted on being address as Wal. So, written, his name was Wal King. Then there was Gary and Mary Cary, Pinkie Polk, and Bland Pierson, along with many others I couldn't believe.
posted by dobbs at 9:12 AM on October 7, 2003

My mom used to work with Gaye Queen.
posted by Foosnark at 9:33 AM on October 7, 2003

My name is Dan Brilliant.
posted by Dan Brilliant at 9:47 AM on October 7, 2003

I know a lady named Ima Dick, Dick being her married name. She's one of my former high school teachers and has a great sense of humour, thank goodness :D
posted by zarah at 9:53 AM on October 7, 2003

There's a dentist in SF named Les Plack
posted by buzzv at 10:56 AM on October 7, 2003

Hey languagehat - thanks for the link to that great Spoon thread. Damn, I miss his posts! :(
posted by MiguelCardoso at 11:10 AM on October 7, 2003

I work with Gay Youngman.
posted by donnagirl at 11:17 AM on October 7, 2003

I had a class once with Sterling Silver.
posted by soren at 11:56 AM on October 7, 2003

I know (of) a guy named Solomon Key, who once (maybe thrice) used a disposable shaving razor to stimulate his prostate.

didja hear that solomon! next time don't beat your girlfriend, ok?
posted by mcsweetie at 5:54 AM on October 8, 2003

someone else in the same town christened their daughter with one first name for every letter of the alphabet

I have a friend with 26 first names as well. Interestingly enough, his brother and sister also have 26 first names. Frankly, I'm impressed that his parents could come up with that many different names.
posted by somethingotherthan at 7:43 PM on October 8, 2003