Scoop out your sins!

October 24, 2003 6:08 AM

The Jesus O' Lantern - for those still looking for a carving design for this year's Halloween pumpkin.
posted by debralee (18 comments total)

I've been letting nature carve my pumpkin this year. The cyclops should be complete by Sunday.
posted by machaus at 6:38 AM on October 24, 2003

This would be good for my SO's family's church's "Fall Festival" that they celebrate because Halloween is too pagan and eeeeevil.

But a "Fall Festival"? Noooo, that's not pagan at all...
posted by jennyb at 6:51 AM on October 24, 2003

Careful. If you make a pumpkin that is blasphemous to Jesus Christ, ya might git struck by lightning, just like Jim Caviezel of Mel Gibson's "The Passion of Christ" has been, twice. Everyone's a critic. Even God.
posted by ZachsMind at 6:52 AM on October 24, 2003

I would feel bad when I filled up Jesus with shaving cream and heaved him straight up in the air in the middle of the street. But I would still do it, because the sound is so cool, and he would forgive me, I know he would.
posted by planetkyoto at 7:00 AM on October 24, 2003

Joyfully Carving Him.

And just where does pumpkin pie fit in with the blood and body of Christ?
posted by Dick Paris at 7:19 AM on October 24, 2003

This is my pie. Take. Eat. And make a plate to take for thine mate who had to work. And take upon thee leftovers, but thou shalt return the Tupperware or suffer great wrath upon thine house.
posted by jennyb at 7:24 AM on October 24, 2003

ZachsMind: Some people just can't take a hint, can they?
posted by Cerebus at 7:35 AM on October 24, 2003

I once played a medieval priest at a renaissance festival, and just before a rainstorm that closed us early that day, I almost got struck by lightning while entertaining an audience during the chess match. Actually the lightning struck a tree within spitting distance of the chess field, but I got the message: God wanted the punchline. It was an unique experience, playing straightman for God, but if He'd actually hit me spot on, yeah I woulda taken the hint.

Here's some slightly less religious pumpkin patterns and strategies.
posted by ZachsMind at 7:53 AM on October 24, 2003

Here's a totally non-religious pumpkin carving. Unless you worship at the church of goatse, that is.
posted by filmgoerjuan at 8:12 AM on October 24, 2003

$10 says someone's still gonna smash that pumpkin...
posted by bhayes82 at 8:30 AM on October 24, 2003

Zachmind: realistic pumpkin-like FunKins? Now that's blaphemous.
_{Argh! It's a freaking harvest festival, not a styrofoam fest!}
posted by DenOfSizer at 9:07 AM on October 24, 2003

Well yeah DenOfSizer, but that'd be blasphemous to pagans, which is an entirely different can of wormy pumpkin guts to get into.
posted by ZachsMind at 9:43 AM on October 24, 2003

Favorite quote of the day for me:

"Follow the directions for this optical illusion and see Jesus for yourself!"
posted by infowar at 9:53 AM on October 24, 2003

I figure anyone who objects to "All Hallow's Eve" as being "too pagan", should lobby their local church to more visibly celebrate "All Saint's Day", which is the other half of the holiday.

(And then they should quit celebrating Christmas in December, but that's another issue entirely.)
posted by Karmakaze at 12:02 PM on October 24, 2003

Funny, I was just here earlier this morning. I carved Ozzy and an Orc last year; I'm thinking Jack Skellington and the Pumpkin King are just the ticket this year.
posted by sharpener at 1:18 PM on October 24, 2003

machaus, hope to see the final cut slugs' creation.
posted by thomcatspike at 3:45 PM on October 24, 2003

Unless you worship at the church of goatse, that is.

"I find myself on a daily basis confronted with the evidence of either the existence of God, or the non-existence of God. Either looking into the gaping red anus of Goatse is but another direct glimpse at the multifarious face of the Almighty, or it is nothing more than yet another example of the horror and futility of this god-forsaken existence."

(NSFW, of course.)
posted by homunculus at 8:37 PM on October 25, 2003

W.W.J.C.?
posted by filmgoerjuan at 7:44 AM on October 26, 2003