He's short on height but tall on issues
November 19, 2003 10:14 AM   Subscribe

Who wants to marry a Kucinich? "I think we're in a day in age when partnerships are imperative to making anything happening in the world. And I certainly want a dynamic, out-spoken woman who was fearless in her desire for peace in the world and for universal single-payer health care and a full employment economy. If you are out there call me." -- Dennis Kucinich, Nov 5, 2003
posted by mathowie (26 comments total)
And I certainly want a dynamic, out-spoken woman who was fearless in her desire for peace in the world and for universal single-payer health care and a full employment economy

"...also, I'd like her to have some big tits."
posted by jonmc at 10:20 AM on November 19, 2003

My vote goes to Jessica from California.

"I have no idea how old he is, nor what he looks like. I don't know any of his personal history."
posted by eastlakestandard at 11:01 AM on November 19, 2003

My history isn't up to par - how many Presidents have we had that weren't married? (and would Andrew Jackson count?)

And how effective would a courtship be while running for President?
posted by jazzkat11 at 11:06 AM on November 19, 2003

James Buchanan was the only president who never married. His niece did the duties of the First Lady. (Not all of them, I hope...)
posted by Mayor Curley at 11:26 AM on November 19, 2003

Is this somehow related to Huey's quest to get Condi Rice some action? She and Dennis would make a very odd couple.
posted by Ufez Jones at 11:26 AM on November 19, 2003

If Dennis marries Geri from Massachusetts, I will switch allegiance to him!
posted by Mayor Curley at 11:29 AM on November 19, 2003

Hmmmm...Strangely enough I had heard from some friends that an old college friend of mine was actually dating Dennis after having worked on his campaign for a while.

Thought that was interesting at the time...find it somehow even more intriguing now.
posted by aaronscool at 11:39 AM on November 19, 2003

When this contest is over, at least he'll know ONE person who will vote for him (and at least 15 who won't).
posted by wendell at 12:13 PM on November 19, 2003

As a republican, there's just something amusing about how the democratic race has now turned into a dating game.
posted by piper28 at 1:06 PM on November 19, 2003

I know he has (or had) a longtime girlfriend -- did this relationship end? Or is he trying to find someone more politically acceptable (the woman he was with was younger by a fair bit.)
posted by ltracey at 1:18 PM on November 19, 2003

Is Jane wearing a ST:TNG uniform?
posted by ursus_comiter at 1:36 PM on November 19, 2003

I have a visual impression of Kucinich indelibly stamped on my mind.......I saw him on a talk show w/Richard Perle. The two were sparring over the the possible invasion of Iraq.

Politics aside, they both seemed to be aliens - although of distinctly different strains. Kucinich was the more classic "grey", with a large head, giant sunken eyes and pale, gaunt features set into a flat face.....and all of this - the whole sallow, longish, flat head - was wobbling on a strangely thin neck.

Perle, if anything, might have been reptilian. He had a massive block of a head - with powerful jowls and also smallish, steely eyes. No neck. He moved slowly and seemed oddly muscle bound and powerfully shaped for a politician who works primarily with his mind and through language. He seemed menacing in the manner of a crocodile.

I would not have been at all surprised had they torn off their rubber masks to reveal the aliens underneath - and so I have a difficult time imagining either man finding and keeping a mate although, as the redoubtable Henry K quipped - "Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac."
posted by troutfishing at 1:44 PM on November 19, 2003

I have this wonderful dream. It begins at a Democratic debate, and when the question is volleyed to Kucinich, he climbs up on the podium and starts screaming "I WANT A WOMAN!" like Uncle Teo in "Amarcord." As the cameras roll, he fends off all who approach him, throwing rocks from his pockets with pinpoint accuracy, all the time keeping up his plaintive wail.

The debate suddenly turns to what to do about Kucinich up on the podium.

Al Sharpton is just happy he's looking for a woman, and thinks that's perfectly understandable. Joe Lieberman would point out that Al Gore would seek a dialogue that would end Kucinich's tirade, but he is not Al Gore.

John Kerry would suggest they break out a subcommitte and study the matter in depth before leaping to any hasty conclusions. In the meanwhile Dick Gephart is collecting the thrown rocks and giving them back to Kucinich - "Here, son, you may need these again..."

Howard Dean suggests they simply move the rest of the debate to another venue, leaving Kucinich up on the podium alone, but John Edwards bewails the fact he'd lose the black "X" mark they had on the floor for him to stand.
posted by Perigee at 2:11 PM on November 19, 2003

I have this wonderful dream.
Very strange, Perigree, that's exactly what DID happen at the CNN/Rock the Vote Debate...
posted by wendell at 2:55 PM on November 19, 2003

"His niece did the duties of the First Lady".
and JFK -- when his wife was unable (due to difficult pregnancies) or unwilling to follow him on trips abroad, traveled with his mom (who after all used to be the US Ambadassor at the Court of St James' wife)

"He seemed menacing in the manner of a crocodile."
That's exactly right. I met him at a conference and I can testify that this is exactly the case.
posted by matteo at 5:22 PM on November 19, 2003

And then you have FDR, who married his first cousin Eleanor - nothing against Eleanor, or even FDR, you understand. I just wonder how that would go over today.

I can't think of a single politician I ever really thought of as attractive - or even if they are nice looking the illusion is dispelled as soon as they open their mouths.

And anyway, if the political life was so attractive to me, I'd want to be the politician and have a First Gentleman. Or, in my case, have my husband in charge of decorating 24 Sussex Dr.
posted by orange swan at 6:21 PM on November 19, 2003

is this for real? what the hell?
posted by mdn at 7:12 PM on November 19, 2003

"At the same time, [capitalism] is a system that both produces and selects the most socially stunted among us -- least able to trust and cooperate with others -- and places them in positions of power and privilege. In an Adlerian sense the desire for coercive power over others is often a part of a desperate strategy for enhancing one's self-esteem. Acts of domination over others require numbing oneself to the needs of others and the repercussions of one's own acts on others. People become mere objects, in a field of objects, to be manipulated for private advantage. For those whose self-esteem is low enough, having coercive power over others is compensatory -- even exhilarating. In Henry Kissinger's own words, 'power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.'" heh heh

More Henry K

matteo - thanks. I'm glad to be able to trust my instincts. So Perle is a crocodile. Well then - crocodiles are sometimes useful and most certainly not evil, as creatures. Just keep well out of their jaw radius.
posted by troutfishing at 8:13 PM on November 19, 2003

Oh and.....

Perigee - your dreams would make for really great political satire (I'm sure you know this, but...)
posted by troutfishing at 8:16 PM on November 19, 2003

And then you have FDR, who married his first cousin Eleanor

A common misconception. Actually, they were fifth cousins once removed.

I just wonder how that would go over today.

In any case, twenty-seven states permit first cousins to marry. And counting the electoral votes for just the states which permit it without restriction gives a total of 275 -- a majority!

Okay, some voters in those states would be creeped out. Derail complete?
posted by dhartung at 12:37 AM on November 20, 2003

dhartung - Ha ha, you're right. I'll match your derail and raise it :

"Go Ahead, Kiss Your Cousin...Heck, marry her if you want to [ Discover Magazine, 8/2003, on recent research showing that first cousin marriages increase childbirth risks about as much as later life pregnancy - bearing children at 41 rather than at 30, say ]

"....for generations the Rothschild family had been inbreeding almost as intensively as European royalty, without apparent ill effect. Despite his own limited gene pool, Albert, for instance, was an outdoorsman and the seventh person ever to climb the Matterhorn. The American du Ponts practiced the same strategy of cousin marriage for a century. Charles Darwin, the grandchild of first cousins, married a first cousin. So did Albert Einstein.
 In our lore, cousin marriages are unnatural, the province of hillbillies and swamp rats, not Rothschilds and Darwins. In the United States they are deemed such a threat to mental health that 31 states have outlawed first-cousin marriages. This phobia is distinctly American, a heritage of early evolutionists with misguided notions about the upward march of human societies. Their fear was that cousin marriages would cause us to breed our way back to frontier savagery—or worse. "You can't marry your first cousin," a character declares in the 1982 play Brighton Beach Memoirs. "You get babies with nine heads."

Hillbillies and swamp rats. Heh.

I'm surprised that the writer didn't mention H.H. Goddard's theories of mental deficiency (as outlined in his dubious research on the Kallikaks) that fed the flames of early 19th century American hysteria concerning the "Menace of Undesirables" which, in turn, led to the American Eugenics Movement's dubious "achievements" - restrictive immigration policy (to keep out non-"Nordics") and state laws mandating sterilization of "defectives" - and provided key inspiration for the racial eugenicist policies -and thus the Holocaust- of the Nazis.

So cousin kissing is a loaded issue in American culture, to say the least.

But Richard Perle is still a crocodile, and Dennis Kucinich is still an alien "grey".
posted by troutfishing at 4:38 AM on November 20, 2003

That's odd! I read a bio on Eleanor and I thought it their fathers were brothers. Guess either I didn't read at all carefully or the author made a HUGE mistake. Probably the former.
posted by orange swan at 6:42 AM on November 20, 2003

Politics aside, they both seemed to be aliens --troutfishing

You win the prize! According to various conspiracy sites...those that believe in the greys and the lizard people...you have correctly identified the aliens! Give that man a kewpie doll. ;)

That being said...This can't be for real...can it? I mean, has the two party system really brought us to this?

We need a system a little more like the Brits...lots and lots of parties. I hereby volunteer to run for President under the "Monster Raving Loony" banner.
posted by dejah420 at 2:06 PM on November 20, 2003

dejah420 - thank you, fellow bipedal hominid. This "kewpie doll" of which you speak.........it is edible?
posted by troutfishing at 4:11 PM on November 20, 2003

...Or perhaps this "kewpie doll" is a tool to achieve political ends. Hmmm.
posted by troutfishing at 4:12 PM on November 20, 2003

Or might it perhaps be an object of sexual desire, useful somehow for that process of species procreation colloquially referred to by bipedal hominids (such as ourselves) as "sex"?
posted by troutfishing at 4:17 PM on November 20, 2003

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