The Real Fake Dr. Seuss

November 21, 2003 7:51 PM

The Dr. Seuss Parody Page : Offered to help wash the image of the Cat in the Hat movie out of your minds... If you've been on the net for more than 3 days, you've seen at least some of these:
For Techies
And Trekkies
And Biblical Scholars,
Biologists,
Psychologists
And Vikings who holler.
Political Seuss
Starring Bush, Gore and Newt.
From E-Mail to ER
And B5, that's cute.
From Purity Tests
To Deconstruction-ests.
From Shakespeare to Dante,
Who knows what's the best?
I'd list every one, I am so unabashed,
But do so, my rhymes would become Ogden Nash.
So click and enjoy
Some of this,
Some of that,
And avoid Mr. Myers in 'Cat in the Hat'.
posted by wendell (24 comments total)

You've been here since January of 2000 and felt that your post was okay in this form?

What are you, nuts?
posted by BlueTrain at 8:13 PM on November 21, 2003

I thought it was clever. *shrug*
posted by untuckedshirts at 8:20 PM on November 21, 2003

wendell, honey, come on.
posted by mcsweetie at 8:21 PM on November 21, 2003

some of these are really cute--from a grinch parody about the moviemakers:
You're a bad guy, greedy Schnook,
   You're a money seeking thug
   You've got all the tender mercies of
   a slimy, goopy slug!
   Greedy Schnook!
   An independent study examining the both of you
   Found more decency in the slug!
posted by amberglow at 8:30 PM on November 21, 2003

I agree, untuckedshirts.
posted by BlueTrain at 8:32 PM on November 21, 2003

There's no good way to do this post. It's clever, but it takes up the whole front page. And merging the lines would ruin it.
posted by smackfu at 8:54 PM on November 21, 2003

You've been here since January of 2000 and felt that your post was okay in this form?

What are you, nuts?

you been here since January 2002, and haven't liked a fucking thing yet. yet, here you are. what are you, nuts?
posted by quonsar at 9:08 PM on November 21, 2003

I like this post,
it is quite true.
I like this post.
Oh, yes, I do.
posted by dchase at 9:18 PM on November 21, 2003

Green eggs and ham and pancakes.
posted by gluechunk at 9:34 PM on November 21, 2003

My Cat In The Hat FPP will be arriving shortly. Stay tuned, kids.
posted by The God Complex at 9:57 PM on November 21, 2003

My screen real estate,
this uses it all.

I pay per the byte,
I cannot say how much this I dislike,
I am from 1982; my walkman, what a sight!

I would not like it with blue,
I would not like it with yellow,
I would not like it with white,
I would not like it sam I am!

I note, but I am in 2003!

Temporal mechanics be damned,
My MeFi I want all for me, all for me!

I ask, but one thing, I ask:
Bring me back where I was weaned,
where I could whine about paying by the byte,
but really, the internet was freed;
one could download with all their might,
without paying by the megabyte!
posted by shepd at 9:58 PM on November 21, 2003

Man. I saw this on the front page and I really, really, really, really, really wanted to hate it. I wanted to take it to meta and scream and yell and jump up and down upon it until it crumbled to little pieces.

But it's just too damned cute.
posted by jacquilynne at 10:00 PM on November 21, 2003

The Dr. Seuss Parody Page : Offered to help wash the image of the Cat in the Hat movie out of your minds... If you've been on the net for more than 3 days, you've seen at least some of these: (more inside...)

Yeah, that would've been OK...yes?
posted by davidmsc at 10:08 PM on November 21, 2003

if it would have eased your terrible suffering davidmsc, and that of the blue hued choo choo, yes.
posted by quonsar at 10:15 PM on November 21, 2003

What if it ran the other way, if Seuss' material was written by other poets? I give you a fragment of Jack Kerouac's lost masterpiece, "Mexico City Breakfast":

Yasss.....
        In electric neon twilight diner moons
 Of bhodisattva pantaloons
   Eightfold noble truths blow like 
                                                   bop
                                              tenor
                                         alto
                                     sax
                                   reeds in the night
 
 yet the night yields to morning sun,
   (sunny side over easy scrambled) (hammond)
       eggs:  green like boogers boogers boogers
 Last time I let fucking Neal Cassidy cook.

anyone wanna try ginsburg? "I've seen the best minds of my generation destroyed by feline madness..."
posted by arto at 1:44 AM on November 22, 2003

Too bad that, like rap, references to this stuff usually reduce everything to crappy end-rhymes.
posted by HTuttle at 3:42 AM on November 22, 2003

No sense of fun, some of you.
posted by nthdegx at 4:10 AM on November 22, 2003

Hmmm. If you've been on the net more than 3 days you'll have seen at least one of these? I've been on the net EIGHT YEARS and I've seen none of these. Guess I don't hang out in the right places :) I quite like the B5 one.
posted by kaemaril at 6:46 AM on November 22, 2003

While I was sleeping...

You've been here since January of 2000 and felt that your post was okay in this form?
Actually, October of '99, but Matt didn't start keeping track until January.

What are you, nuts?
I've got medical records confirming that. Wanna make something of it?

My Cat In The Hat FPP will be arriving shortly. Stay tuned, kids.
Steal from the best - that's what I try to do.

My screen real estate,
this uses it all...
It just insn't the same without the stupid rhymes...

I really, really, really, really, really wanted to hate it. I wanted to take it to meta and scream and yell and jump up and down upon it until it crumbled to little pieces.
But it's just too damned cute.
Cuteness has saved my life on more than one occasion.

(more inside...)
Yes, I could have done that, and probably will when my medication kicks in.

And, quonsar, thanks for the words of defense; I'm just not sure I want to be thought of as 'the guy hiding behind quonsar's skirt'... (Nice skirt, however).

Final analysis: I'm not a troll, but I am three of the Seven Dwarfs. The level of fun I'm having here should be declared illegal (and probably will).
posted by wendell at 7:37 AM on November 22, 2003

Based on observations in the field, I propose the following:

If a post differs from the norm, at least one of two conditions must be met:

1. That post's comment thread must become a referendum on that post
2. That post must be taken to metatalk
posted by Hildago at 10:50 AM on November 22, 2003

Woe is me, I had to move my finger an extra fraction of an inch and then waste an exponentially longer amount of time complaining about it!!!
posted by wigu at 12:41 PM on November 22, 2003

quonsar's skirt *is* what makes him feel pretty.

Hey Matt, the MeTa background is showing up blue for me. WTF? Opera 7/Windows.
posted by arto at 2:55 PM on November 22, 2003

::: whimpers :::
No, arto, this is the blue...
Nobody's taken poor Wendell to MetaTalk since July of 2000.
(And I was so sure that streak was about to end...)
I know what you're thinking quonsar... NOT NOW.
posted by wendell at 4:27 PM on November 22, 2003

it was brilliant. some of you are uptight.
posted by erebora at 8:46 PM on November 22, 2003