November 22, 2003 5:42 AM   Subscribe

Seppuku - A Practical Guide. The rules for seppuku are as complex as for the tea ceremony, and the result roughly the same; if pushed we would have to recommend self-disembowelment over a slow death from lethal boredom, arthritis and bitter tea.
posted by srboisvert (6 comments total)
Gleaner Guide to Roadkills. Weird site. Fun read.
posted by ginz at 7:38 AM on November 22, 2003

Given that American culture is slowly shifting from a culture of guilt to a culture of shame, the US should now look towards the Seppuku ritual for guidance on how best to manage this difficult transition.

The actual ritual which eventually emerges will be idiosyncratically and peculiarly American, of course. We can envision, for example, practitioners slowly crushed under SUV's, certain painful methods derived from the force of CRT vacuum implosions, suicide by overeating (truly agonizing) and the like.

But whatever form emerges, the essence of the new ritual will remain - I'm sure - true to the inherent genius of Seppuku.
posted by troutfishing at 7:39 AM on November 22, 2003

The article implies that Mishima didn't have an assisstant but he did, who did a notoriously bad job of beheading him and someone else had to step in.
posted by bobo123 at 8:00 AM on November 22, 2003

::: inserts blade in torso :::
No, wait a minute, I'm doing this wrong, I have to start over...
::: pulls out blade :::
Anybody got some paper towels?
posted by wendell at 8:55 AM on November 22, 2003

Double post?

Okay, not really.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 10:35 AM on November 22, 2003

Is this a response to this post?
posted by homunculus at 10:58 AM on November 22, 2003

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