CBS adds secret performer for Super Bowl halftime show
January 30, 2004 12:14 PM   Subscribe

CBS adds secret performer for Super Bowl halftime show. "[A]bout 2,500 youngsters from area schools will pour onto the field to create a festival concert atmosphere..." Let me guess... Michael freakin' Jackson?
posted by johnnydark (59 comments total)
 
I'm gonna guess Clay Aiken.
posted by konolia at 12:37 PM on January 30, 2004


Jackson? Egads - one certainly hopes not! I can't imagine the Superbowl folks would want to associate their product with him at this particular moment in time.

I read "festival" to imply "Woodstock 99" or Lilith Fair." I have been trying to think about who "young people" would be excited to see - but who they wouldn't need to tell them about in advance. I'm thinking 50 Cent, Beyonce or Jay-Z.
posted by Joey Michaels at 12:40 PM on January 30, 2004


OH MY GOD!!! And there's still over 48 hours left before the Super Bowl! How am I going to last that long without knowing?? I'm going to crack I tell you, CRACK!
posted by mathis23 at 12:45 PM on January 30, 2004


'Youngster' to CBS is anyone under 50.
posted by jjg at 12:49 PM on January 30, 2004


But won't everyone be watching the Lingerie Bowl?
posted by archimago at 12:51 PM on January 30, 2004


Finally, Rip Taylor (Flash!) will once again stride above lesser celebrities and entertainers, where he belongs.
posted by tittergrrl at 12:56 PM on January 30, 2004


a festival concert atmosphere

Smoking dope and making out with complete strangers at the superbowl half time show?

Sweet.
posted by maggie at 1:00 PM on January 30, 2004


It probably won't be Captain Kangaroo or Bozo the Clown.
posted by crunchland at 1:04 PM on January 30, 2004


And here I thought they meant a giant stick of Secret was going to perform.
posted by Tin Man at 1:08 PM on January 30, 2004


If it does turn out to be Michael Jackson, I just hope they got plenty of Jesus Juice.
posted by soyjoy at 1:08 PM on January 30, 2004


Is this CBS' way of making up for the anti-Bush ad kerfuffle?
posted by WolfDaddy at 1:13 PM on January 30, 2004


Is this CBS' way of making up for the anti-Bush ad kerfuffle?
Thought we setteled that thread, as CBS did not host the Super Bowl last year. Yet my question was not answered, iirc, will there be any other adds that will be "political" in nature?
posted by thomcatspike at 1:22 PM on January 30, 2004


Cheney and the Family Stone?
Rummy's Midnight Runners?
Perle Jam?
posted by amberglow at 1:23 PM on January 30, 2004


there will be thomcat, but they'll be acceptable politics. (like those "drugs=terrorism" ones) : <
posted by amberglow at 1:24 PM on January 30, 2004


Dude. If it's Michael Jackson I'm so going to kick the Superbowl's ass.
posted by VulcanMike at 1:25 PM on January 30, 2004


(like those "drugs=terrorism" ones)
Well they should play the Bush add: Children working hard at a dead end jobs paying off the deficit. Which is a better anti drug add since it's a depressing future.
posted by thomcatspike at 1:29 PM on January 30, 2004


Here it is, in case anyone missed it.
posted by homunculus at 1:55 PM on January 30, 2004


If it's Michael Jackson, I honestly don't know if I'll be able to control my gag reflex.

I can absolutely see him rallying for this spot because he thinks it will be some sort of last-ditch effort to garner the attention/pity he craves when in reality it'll probably cause all of these kids' parents to run out on the the field to collect their kids and run away screaming.
posted by cinderful at 2:07 PM on January 30, 2004


crunchland: (sputter!) First good belly-laugh I've had on MeFi in weeks!
posted by davidmsc at 2:13 PM on January 30, 2004


I heard that it was Justin Timberlake.
posted by aclevername at 2:35 PM on January 30, 2004


I'm disturbed that 350 people have volunteered to assemble a stage, like it's all for charity.
posted by davebush at 2:35 PM on January 30, 2004


A very special appearance by Sting. . . .
posted by Danf at 2:45 PM on January 30, 2004


I'm disturbed that 350 people have volunteered to assemble a stage, like it's all for charity.

I want to pay about 30 of these people to screw up, just to see if they delay the game so they can do the half-time show.
posted by urlnotfound at 2:48 PM on January 30, 2004


So the purpose of this thread was to make a Michael Jackson joke? This is an intriguing turn of events that I will be monitoring closely in the hours to come.
posted by The God Complex at 3:26 PM on January 30, 2004


I hope it's the Pixies.
posted by bobo123 at 3:26 PM on January 30, 2004


If it's the Pixies the universe as we know it will end from the coolness. If it's Michael Jackson, the universe as we know it will end - for humans, anyway - out of a sense of (long withheld) justice, one hopes.

Either way we're doomed, and I can't help but feel a bit cheered up with that knowledge.
posted by Ryvar at 3:30 PM on January 30, 2004


pat boone sings outkast.
posted by quonsar at 4:04 PM on January 30, 2004


Kelis Featuring Andy Rooney, doing "Milkshake."
posted by Vidiot at 4:13 PM on January 30, 2004


Oh all right, people. It's me.
posted by scody at 4:28 PM on January 30, 2004


Isn't Beonce doing the national anthem?
posted by konolia at 5:07 PM on January 30, 2004


Even if it is Michael Jackson, it won't be as barfalicious as Gwen Stefani and Sting crooning together.

[hurls]

But it won't be Jackson. You don't pull a major headliner out of your ass as a "surprise." It's an insult to the big names you've booked, and have been advertising. It probably will be someone more like Clay Aiken. Someone "fresh" and "interesting" but not necessarily someone who will compete with the big names already signed to the gig.

Maybe it'll be the Star Wars Kid?
posted by scarabic at 5:18 PM on January 30, 2004


Zombie Johnny Cash returns to eat your BRAINS!
posted by inpHilltr8r at 5:28 PM on January 30, 2004


Put me down for $25 on it being J.Lo or Jessica Simpson.

sorry... i get a little wager-wacky during the superbowl. go pats.
posted by jerseygirl at 6:14 PM on January 30, 2004


God, I hope it's Beyonce and Jay-Z. And I hope Jay-Z proposes at the end of "Crazy In Love." The entire nation would have a powerful cuteness orgasm.

On the other hand, it could just be Madonna. Again. (Maybe she'd slip John Madden the tongue?)

In a perfect world, it's obviously Howard Dean performing Guns 'N' Roses' "Welcome To The Jungle" in the style of that one MP3 going around.
posted by logovisual at 6:57 PM on January 30, 2004


Maybe it'll be Joe Namath. He wants to kiss us.
posted by jonmc at 7:53 PM on January 30, 2004


you think Outkast would do it?
posted by amberglow at 7:58 PM on January 30, 2004


William Hung.
posted by konolia at 8:02 PM on January 30, 2004


It'll be a famous Texan, because you want the locals to make a big noise for the cameras when whoever it is appears.

My guess is Leann Rimes, although Outkast would make my day, and Steve Earle would make my year.
posted by chicobangs at 8:17 PM on January 30, 2004


Stop saying it's Michael Jackson. It's not Michael Jackson.

It's gonna be Outkast.
posted by jpoulos at 8:26 PM on January 30, 2004


Either that or it's Toby Keith--which would be SO typical of the NFL and CBS
posted by jpoulos at 8:29 PM on January 30, 2004


I've really heard, even before this was on the 'net today, that it is MJ - but who knows. Some sports stations have even been talking about it the last few days.

In any case, logovisual, Jay-Z couldn't propose like that on stage, because he couldn't keep up his "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" persona. C'mon!
posted by djspicerack at 8:52 PM on January 30, 2004


djspicerack -- he doesn't need to, he's a grown man now. He doesn't wear jerseys anymore, remember? Give him a nice pair of jeans...
posted by logovisual at 10:37 PM on January 30, 2004


warren haynes...
posted by aiq at 4:00 AM on January 31, 2004


logovisual: As a matter of fact, this morning I read in the paper that Madonna was spotted in Houston yesterday.
posted by alumshubby at 12:49 PM on January 31, 2004


it's me. I'm gonna do an acoustic set.
posted by mcsweetie at 1:06 PM on January 31, 2004


cool! mcsweet at the superbowl! (i want a bootleg, ok?)
posted by amberglow at 1:28 PM on January 31, 2004


Do you take requests?
posted by homunculus at 1:51 PM on January 31, 2004


Trash for cash
posted by homunculus at 2:01 PM on January 31, 2004


you think Outkast would do it?

Uh, they sold Hey Ya to the Golden Globes; I don't think they'd have problems with playing at the Super Bowl. Just as long as the halftime show doesn't include Paul McCartney, the way it did a few years back, and that wretched interview that had him singing A Hard Day's Night along with the broadcasters. I still have nightmares....

But if it's OutKast, then I'm probably going to have to watch it. Damn. *hums* Shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it....
posted by jokeefe at 3:43 PM on January 31, 2004


I know, jokeefe, i was really surprised that they did that, and allowed the incredibly stupid celebrity lyrics. Ok, OutKast it is!
posted by amberglow at 4:39 PM on January 31, 2004


Slayer.
posted by pissfactory at 5:18 PM on January 31, 2004


OK, OK, I've got it. It's going to be Clay Aiken.
posted by jpoulos at 8:43 PM on January 31, 2004


nah...Ruben ; >

It's a MTV-produced thing, so it has to be someone reasonably hip, or teenybopperish--are there any boybands left on earth?
posted by amberglow at 8:50 PM on January 31, 2004


N'Sync reunion?

If we just exhaust every mathematical possibility in this thread, we can all just claim to be geniuses when it happens.
posted by logovisual at 9:46 PM on January 31, 2004


who's incredibly hot now, and loved by kids, besides OutKast?

Kelis? ; >
posted by amberglow at 9:54 PM on January 31, 2004


Britney returns! (Beyonce is doing the national anthem)

Actually, it would not surprise me if it is Michael Jackson. After all, he is going to be there. (Entertainment Tonight or one of those shows said Janet Jackson was going to have a big old Super Bowl afterparty and Michael was confirmed as attending.)
posted by SisterHavana at 10:51 PM on January 31, 2004


Um ... I think I would have preferred a clothed MJ to a bare-boobied Janet.
posted by WolfDaddy at 6:38 PM on February 1, 2004


So, her nipple was the secret guest, right?
posted by keli at 7:01 PM on February 1, 2004


yeah, who was it?
posted by amberglow at 7:10 PM on February 1, 2004


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