I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry....
April 22, 2004 7:34 AM   Subscribe

The Scoop on Poop and The Facts on Farts
:: via filmgoerjuan's blog, sort of ::
posted by anastasiav (12 comments total)

Fabulous material there.

Missing from the poop page is the classic explanation of Why Turds are Tapered (if they were not, your ass would slam shut).
posted by beagle at 8:40 AM on April 22, 2004

Thanks to weeks of Percocet ingestion (I recently had surgery on my arm), none of my turds are tapered. Imagine rabbit or deer pellets, only larger and much more painful.
posted by quasistoic at 9:12 AM on April 22, 2004

Wow. TMI. And yet, fascinating.
posted by shoepal at 9:14 AM on April 22, 2004

I rest my case.
posted by beagle at 9:15 AM on April 22, 2004

With a thread like this, Metafilter was just begging for it.
posted by quasistoic at 10:08 AM on April 22, 2004

Facts On Farts:

"...Emperor Claudius even passed a law legalizing farting at banquets out of concern for people's health..."

That line alone redeems everything. There is balance in the world.
posted by Dean_Paxton at 10:48 AM on April 22, 2004

This is generally caused by a recent meal of hot peppers or related spices. The oils associated with these foods remain intact and active all the way through one's gastrointestinal system. These oils can also generate hot farts.

I always wondered why the hell it burns like there's no tomorrow. Flaming poop isn't something you bring up sitting around with a bunch of guys drinkin, "Hey yeah, sometimes like not often, but sometimes does it burn like hell when you shit?"

The Internet has justified itself for yet another day.
posted by geoff. at 11:13 AM on April 22, 2004

Termite farts are believed to be a major contributor towards global warming.

posted by ambrosia at 11:34 AM on April 22, 2004

Way more information on poop and farts than you ever cared to know in your 11-year-old mentality.

Still, it is quite a valuable resource for such things, especially since it probably wouldn't get published in any scientific journals.
posted by Down10 at 11:58 AM on April 22, 2004

LMAO @ AxMefi thread! *trumpet*
posted by roboto at 2:03 PM on April 22, 2004

Thank you, anastasiav!
*A single tear rolls down my cheek*
posted by squirrel at 2:44 PM on April 22, 2004

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