Stand up and HOLLA!
April 25, 2004 10:28 AM   Subscribe

Stand up and Holla! Sponsored by the Republican National Convention. Word, G.
posted by XQUZYPHYR (20 comments total)
they're so hip. This is just begging for spoof entries.
Why is the President's call to community service important and how have you demonstrated it?
Well, I've listened to Bush's call to community service by leading the fight in my community to ban health care for people I disagree with, and to force homosexuals to leave my county, and...
posted by amberglow at 10:34 AM on April 25, 2004

You must be a registered voter. Submissions will not be considered complete until we have received a faxed copy of your Voter Registration Card

fat. fucking. chance.
posted by quonsar at 10:36 AM on April 25, 2004

my submission:

Kill A Welfaire Homo

Our pursidint urge to service the comunitty is by kill the homos. and the welfaires. Sum pursidint like slik willhe are teh homo. No moniker was only red hairing - willhe is teh gay fer shizzle. But in the nayber hoods is too teh welfairs and welfairs with no job is lead to homo acting and our poursidint say "time to clean up" and we know he mean teh welfairs and homoists so me en my frends go to the homo places and kill before they over croud the welfair rols. Bush good! Welfair homos bad! Wat is a vote reginator card?
posted by quonsar at 10:47 AM on April 25, 2004

you definitely won it, q : >
Metafilter: me en my frends go to the homo places and kill before they over croud the welfair rols.
posted by amberglow at 10:51 AM on April 25, 2004

This is a great idea.
posted by BlueTrain at 11:00 AM on April 25, 2004

More seriously: what is a Voter Registration Card? We don't seem to have these in California.
posted by SPrintF at 11:11 AM on April 25, 2004

So voters of the world keep supportin’ me
And I promise to take you very far
Other leaders better not upset me
Or I’ll send a million troops to die at war
To all you Republicans, that helped me win
I sincerely like to thank you
Cuz now I got the world swingin’ from my nuts
And damn it feels good to be a gangsta
posted by matteo at 11:15 AM on April 25, 2004

The DNC's essay contest (Speak Out for the Future) is much less hip.
posted by kirkaracha at 11:16 AM on April 25, 2004

It's weird that the DNC one is about politics, but the RNC one is about community service--something that's not about politics or government.
posted by amberglow at 11:29 AM on April 25, 2004

what is that smoke coming out of the bottom of the podium?
posted by kevspace at 11:40 AM on April 25, 2004

"The winner will be announced on MTV's TRL."

that is so, like, 2000.
posted by casarkos at 1:21 PM on April 25, 2004

"The winner will get to deflower Barbara or Jenna on MTV's TRL" --What's that? we're too late? oh... ; >
posted by amberglow at 1:41 PM on April 25, 2004

Isn't 300 words more like a paragraph?
posted by The God Complex at 2:01 PM on April 25, 2004

Things you must include to win:

- Saddam Hussein is an evil man.

- The world changed on September 11th.

- We must show resolve.
posted by iamck at 4:52 PM on April 25, 2004

iamck, you left one out:

- George W. Bush is demonstrating real leadership

Reginate to vote, kids!
posted by trondant at 7:25 PM on April 25, 2004

Holla back!

...What was the President's call for community service, anyway? When did it happen? I honestly don't remember. So lost.
posted by furiousthought at 8:52 PM on April 25, 2004

The President's call for community service inspired me to spend a bunch of months exposing his ties to a bizarre cult. Does that count?
posted by inksyndicate at 9:08 PM on April 25, 2004

...the winner may deliver a speech to the nation during the 2004 Republican National Convention

Ah, what a brilliant opportunity for sabotage. However, that might be a bit like baiting the lions in a lion's den.
posted by Down10 at 11:53 PM on April 25, 2004

Decisions are final and no essays will be returned.

...because it costs a lot of money, time, and resources to return an electronic submission, apparently. They're so close to getting it...
posted by GhostintheMachine at 9:51 AM on April 26, 2004

Ah, what a brilliant opportunity for sabotage.

For example, write a formulaic, mediochre essay, one which stands a good chance of being accepted, but conceals a second, quite different, message in the first letters of words, first letters of sentences, etc. It's fun to think about, anyway, but it's trick'ry and deception of a kind, so I think I'd only take it as far as a cute thought experiment.

Is that what you meant, or did I read something totally different into it?
posted by SteelyDuran at 11:31 AM on April 26, 2004

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