Perpare to die
April 30, 2004 12:45 AM   Subscribe

I'd like my left bollock to go to Julie and my right one to Children in Need. Quoth Davy Saville.
Don't ever die, it's horrible is Øystein Runde's chosen epitaph.
Greg Derrick would like to be disposed of as follows ...chucked in the water float for weeks as my corpse rots. Only to wash up on a beach in the coasta del sol.
I want my Dad barred from my funeral. The mans a cun*... says Mark Reed is a site which allows people to specify the arrangements after their death. From food and dress code to disposal and famous last words. Read or contribute your own. [Contribution requires quick registration]
posted by kenaman (6 comments total)
During a drunken 3 weeks in Paris about 15 years ago, my oldest friend the mighty Bearman and I spent one evening sitting beside the Seine drinking 5 franc wine out of paper bags (as opposed to drinking 5 franc wine while sitting in our hotel or in a park or in Pere Lachaise cemetery or on the steps at Montmartre or....) and talking about what we wanted done after we kacked it.

I honestly don't remember his wishes (I suck), but I seem to recall asking that he ensure that a) I be cremated, b) a teaspoon of my ashes be given to various friends and aquaintances and subsequently dropped into the oceans, lakes and rivers of some of my favorite places (The Cyclades in Greece, The Sea of Cortez, Fiji, Scotland, Stuart Lake in Northern BC, Whistler, Long Beach on Vancouver Island, The Bay of Islands in New Zealand, Sydney Harbor and The Great Barrier Reef, and so on and on), and c) that a pinch of me be added to a large Scarface-esque pile of cocaine, which would then be snorted with great glee and rejoicing during the wake.

The last one probably ain't gonna happen, which is OK. I've kinda settled down since then, as have most of my friends.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 12:57 AM on April 30, 2004

(It was a sad thing amongst a landslide of sad things when our buddy Rick died after the Bali bombing in 2002 that he'd never told us what he'd've wanted were he to die before us. None of us thought such a thing might actually happen.)
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 1:00 AM on April 30, 2004

I did mine a while ago. I'm confident I made the right choices.
posted by Swandive at 2:34 AM on April 30, 2004

Personally, I'd like my cremated remains to be distributed to my family in specially designed Christmas ornaments.

They're Jewish, so it's a double whammy -- that'll show 'em for making me go to Hebrew school!
posted by Mr Bunnsy at 8:20 AM on April 30, 2004

Stav, in a similar vein, when I did my first will, back in my 20's, I wanted them to put that I was to be cremated wearing my Bob Mackie ball gown and my Harley leather I was dressed for every occasion in the afterlife...and that I wanted my ashes mixed in with 5 pounds of the best weed money could buy, and then distributed to my friends, who could grok me.

They lawyer put the ballgown and leather in...but unilaterally refused to put the marijuana in. He said I'd have to have an "understanding" with the caretaker of my remains instead. ;)

Mr Bunnsy...that's the sort of plan that evil geniuses concoct...I'm impressed. ;)
posted by dejah420 at 9:48 AM on April 30, 2004

I plan to spend the rest of my life setting up some chain of events that will begin after I die. I've yet to determine what those chain of events will be, but I'd like it to be big and sinister.
posted by iamck at 7:20 PM on April 30, 2004

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