Fox New now classified
May 11, 2004 12:37 PM   Subscribe

Memo to soldiers: Do not read the Taguba report on the Fox News website, it is classified. I didn't know the Pentagon had a sense of humor.
posted by caddis (23 comments total)
That is pants-pissing funny in a Joel Chandler Harris kind of way.

"And so ol' Br'er Rumsfeld said 'Don' be lookin' at that Fox News!' But Mistah Soldier, he go right to their homepage, he do, and he download that report, and he spread it all 'roun' the unit...."
posted by Sidhedevil at 12:42 PM on May 11, 2004

Why does Fox News hate America?
posted by punishinglemur at 12:42 PM on May 11, 2004

Damn liberal media.
posted by Ynoxas at 12:48 PM on May 11, 2004

The classification of the report is a looming scandal of its own. Apparently the guidelines for classification explicitly forbid classification for the purpose of covering up crimes. I heard somebody from the Federation of American Scientists talking about it on NPR the other night. Actually, the longer I think about the implications of that classification, the angrier it makes me. In this case, as with so many other scandals, the ensuing coverup may be what brings down the big names.
posted by coelecanth at 1:17 PM on May 11, 2004

Did someone just call fox liberal?

posted by shepd at 1:17 PM on May 11, 2004

This story gets more meta by the second.
posted by Outlawyr at 1:25 PM on May 11, 2004

shepd, I think you need your sarcasm meter retuned.
posted by ursus_comiter at 1:26 PM on May 11, 2004

"Classified, my ass -- it's a fucking secret and you know it! Government is just another way of saying 'better than you'." --Corey Taylor
posted by Dark Messiah at 1:28 PM on May 11, 2004

Hahahaha... classify it all you want, you morons, it's loose on the web, just like The Grey Album. Everybody and his kid sister will have a copy of the report by the end of this week, and there's not much you can do to stop it. Does the word Napster mean anything to you? Music filesharing/piracy? Hello? Helloooo?

Dumbasses. What are they gonna do if half the military reads it? Put 'em all in Leavenworth for violating orders?

posted by zoogleplex at 1:38 PM on May 11, 2004

BTW, it seems to be available in its full text on a whole lot more sites than Fox News. And we pay these Pentagon people to protect us? Yeesh.
posted by zoogleplex at 1:41 PM on May 11, 2004

|NOT        VERY  |
|   Sarcastic     |
|           /     |
|          /      |
|        _/       |
|       (o)       |

I wondered where I had put that... thanks ursus!
posted by shepd at 1:45 PM on May 11, 2004

And our own Fearless Leader issued Executive Order 13292, which includes "In no case shall information be classified in order to: (1) conceal violations of law, inefficiency, or administrative error; (2) prevent embarrassment to a person, organization, or agency."
posted by adamrice at 1:52 PM on May 11, 2004

For what it's worth, I have a friend at the Pentagon, with a Pentagon email address, and he has recieved no such email as stated in the article.
posted by topherbecker at 1:59 PM on May 11, 2004

Reading the report now, on this site. I can wade through the milspeak pretty well, and this really seems rather damning. The report contains findings of fact, naming of names, and recommendations from Gen. Taguba on two Parts of his investigation; the first deals mainly with the direct actions by the soldiers on the scene at Abu Ghraib (of which we're seeing all the photos etc.), while the second points out numerous and pervasive instances of lack of training, failures of chain-of-command, failed accountability, and failure to follow clearly delineated Standard Operational Procedures in the handling of detainees and administration of detention facilities - i.e., massive systemic problems throughout the "Internment/Resettlement" command. In several places he points out the place is severely undermanned, too.

Hard core. And very concisely and competently presented.
posted by zoogleplex at 2:16 PM on May 11, 2004

OK, sorry... one last burst from me, but this blew me away:

From Part 2 of Taguba's findings of fact:
33. (S/NF) The various detention facilities operated by the 800th MP Brigade have routinely held persons brought to them by Other Government Agencies (OGAs) without accounting for them, knowing their identities, or even the reason for their detention. The Joint Interrogation and Debriefing Center (JIDC) at Abu Ghraib called these detainees “ghost detainees.” On at least one occasion, the 320th MP Battalion at Abu Ghraib held a handful of “ghost detainees” (6-8) for OGAs that they moved around within the facility to hide them from a visiting International Committee of the Red Cross (ICRC) survey team. This maneuver was deceptive, contrary to Army Doctrine, and in violation of international law. (Annex 53)
Wow. Just... wow. Right there in plain English.
posted by zoogleplex at 2:29 PM on May 11, 2004

Oooh, a sarcasm detector meter, that's a real useful invention.
posted by funkbrain at 2:36 PM on May 11, 2004

This appears to be the complete report with nothing redacted...unlike most of the reports floating around the net.
posted by dejah420 at 2:50 PM on May 11, 2004

Well, I guess we're all traitors now.
posted by donfactor at 3:19 PM on May 11, 2004

For those who don't have time to read the document, I've summarized it here:

posted by milnak at 3:24 PM on May 11, 2004

This is not as nonsensical as it may seem. Classified != secret. Classified information that has been publicized may have lost its secrecy, but it is still classified. ("Classified" means that the compromise of such info will damage the interests of the United States.) If I have access to classified info, I don't have the right to start discussing it with the general public simply because that info has been compromised. If I discuss it, I can even be penalized as if I were the first person to compromise it. This restriction on handling classified data includes accessing classified information when I don't have a need-to-know.

In this case, some poor Pentagon schlub might be trying to minimize the backlash (you know -- the kind that comes when the SecDef complains more about the release of pictures than the acts they show) on the rank and file.
posted by joaquim at 4:12 PM on May 11, 2004

Well, I guess we're all traitors now.


but seriously, we are all PATRIOTS now.
posted by quonsar at 4:43 PM on May 11, 2004

as for the Fox News reference, i think news == Fox News for the US military. CNN what? Internet who?
posted by mrgrimm at 5:29 PM on May 11, 2004

Shepd: that was worth the visit back to this thread. Consider that joke borrowed/stolen.
posted by Ynoxas at 9:24 PM on May 13, 2004

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