eBay as punishment.
June 4, 2004 8:36 AM   Subscribe

eBay as punishment.
posted by DrJohnEvans (52 comments total)
Dom Perignon opens with a corkscrew?
posted by spilon at 8:41 AM on June 4, 2004

Child rebels. Parent retaliates. Child rebels. Parent retaliates. Alcohol ensues!
posted by PrinceValium at 8:42 AM on June 4, 2004

Looks at the screed in the auction.

Wait - which one is the child again?
posted by Ryvar at 8:43 AM on June 4, 2004

I like that the dad was less concerned that his 13 year old son was drinking booze with his friends but more that the booze cost the dad money.
posted by xmutex at 8:46 AM on June 4, 2004

Awesome. What's a screed?
posted by Eyegore at 8:47 AM on June 4, 2004

Damn I wish eBay would allow comments on items. I'd love to read the litany on this one!
posted by me3dia at 8:47 AM on June 4, 2004

Dom Perignon opens with a corkscrew?

It does if you're a 13-year-old kid.
posted by me3dia at 8:47 AM on June 4, 2004

And whoa, wait, the 13 year old is 6'3?
posted by xmutex at 8:48 AM on June 4, 2004

Child rebels.
Parent retaliates.
Child rebels.
Parent retaliates.
Alcohol ensues!

... ?

(Lack of) Profit !!!
posted by soyjoy at 8:54 AM on June 4, 2004

But at least there was revenue. Plus at least fifty dollars' worth of lifelong spite and hatred planted in the parent-child relationship, so she got her money's worth.
posted by DrJohnEvans at 8:59 AM on June 4, 2004

Leaving alcohol around for the 13 year old to get? Can someone call the police for child negligence on these people?
posted by benjh at 8:59 AM on June 4, 2004

What is distasteful is not the punishment itself, which may possibly be appropriate, but the apparent need to justify said punishment to the world.

Ryvar, you're right, the parents are behaving like 13 year olds. Poor kid.
posted by Quinbus Flestrin at 9:02 AM on June 4, 2004

Awesome. What's a screed?

Oh, try Metatalk. You can find plenty there.
posted by trondant at 9:02 AM on June 4, 2004

It does if you're a 13-year-old kid.

... and brain dead on top. There is no other way to take a corkscrew to a champagne bottle cork.

/And $120 for a bottle of DP seems mighty expensive as well (unless you're ordering it at a bar o restaurant). Try half of that and I might still sell you a few at a profit.

/And while champagne is technically wine ("champagned wine", to be more precise), I don't know anyone who confuses the two.

/But it's obviously a fake anyway, so who cares?
posted by magullo at 9:13 AM on June 4, 2004

I don't know about this one. I get the feeling that the premise behind this auction is a fake. Possibly to somehow garner a higher bid out of pity? Or a feeling of "Join me, and together we, as parents, shall take back control over our children."
posted by TractorInc at 9:14 AM on June 4, 2004

Benjh, I hope you are kidding.

"Leaving windows around for these children to break? Someone etc..."
posted by jon_kill at 9:15 AM on June 4, 2004

The woman sounds like an asshole. And I was going to make the same comment as xmutex - all she seems to care about is how much the booze cost. Perhaps it would have been all right if he'd drunk Pledge or hairspray.
posted by orange swan at 9:16 AM on June 4, 2004

Yeah, I agree it's a fake...

Tractorinc, it has nothing to do with pity, kids, whatever -- smart/devious ebay sellers have picked up on the fact that if you come up with some dumbass story (about an ex-wife or whatever), it gets linked all over and you get more bidders.

Free marketing.
posted by malphigian at 9:17 AM on June 4, 2004

It does seem quite obvious that what the woman is really upset about is the money this has cost her -- the rest of the story is pretty much a cover for how pissed she is about that $120 champagne. The "punishment" is nothing more than an attempt to get that money back.

This is a parent who values material things more than her own child, and that's just disgusting. I hope he remembers the complete lack of understanding or compassion that she showed him when it comes time to decide whether to put her in a home.
posted by reklaw at 9:21 AM on June 4, 2004

/And $120 for a bottle of DP seems mighty expensive as well (unless you're ordering it at a bar o restaurant). Try half of that and I might still sell you a few at a profit.

Not really, depending on the vintage. '95 wasn't a great year though, so if they paid $120 (assuming this is a real auction), they got rooked.
posted by mkultra at 9:25 AM on June 4, 2004

The kid should skip the wine and go for whippits or huffing gasoline, it's tons cheaper. (actually .. I'm just assuming it is... Is huffing still the drug bargain it once was, or have the new prices forced the kids to switch to toad licking / smoking banana peels)
posted by milovoo at 9:25 AM on June 4, 2004

I don't think it's well-written enough to be a fake. Someone smart enough to have come up with this would have done a better job in the presentation.
posted by orange swan at 9:26 AM on June 4, 2004

Unless they're so smart that that's what they wanted you to think...
posted by jacquilynne at 9:31 AM on June 4, 2004

Oh, and there's a comment about a bugle in her feedback list. Not proof, of course, but it's certainly a surprisingly consistent detail from someone who couldn't be bothered to use correct syntax.
posted by orange swan at 9:32 AM on June 4, 2004

At $2.50 a gallon, huffing ain't the bargain it used to be.
posted by jpoulos at 9:32 AM on June 4, 2004

jon_kill, 'twas sarcasm.
posted by benjh at 9:34 AM on June 4, 2004

Are there any parents in this thread? It seems hard to believe from the comments.

I thought it was hilarious, fake or genuine. The punishment was appropriate, the reasoning maybe not. As for the need to justify it to the world, it's what we do as parents. If you're any good at the job, you're constantly questioning whether you're doing the right thing, and you seek to find humor in the most difficult times. And 13 is a difficult time.
posted by SiW at 9:55 AM on June 4, 2004

The crazy thing about life, is that when you go out and break someone else's shit, you have to pay for it. Sure, when spoiled brats fuck up someone's stuff, Mommy and Daddy Warbucks cover the damages. But normal folks have to accept the blame themselves.

Sounds to me like a good life lesson to impart to a 13 year old with a destructive streak. If you mess it up, you'll have to pay for it. Somehow. Anyhow.

If this had been a 16 year old who wrecked a stolen car, this thread would be full of outrage like "why didn't his parents teach him responsibility for his actions?!?!" Some lessons are just harder to learn than others. When this kid is 23 and graduating from college - instead of embarking on 3-6 for felony convictions - he'll thank Mom for putting his Playstation2 on eBay.
posted by junkbox at 10:08 AM on June 4, 2004

Despite the over-the-top tone of the auction post, I have to say I watched my sister-in-law unplug a PS2, put just the CPU in a storage bin with a padlock, stack all the games and controllers and whatnot on top and hang a sign on the whole pile that said, "See how long 2 weeks is? Remember this next time I say, "Dinner's ready now, not ten minutes from now..."" As far as I know, she only had to do it once, and they got the message. Granted, she didn't sell the damned thing at public auction and these kids are between five and eleven, but still, the sentiment's the same... I don't have kids myself, but it seems to me the auction poster has waited just a little too long to start in disciplining this kid.
posted by JollyWanker at 10:19 AM on June 4, 2004

Wonder what will happen now that she sold her babysitter?
posted by oh posey at 10:20 AM on June 4, 2004

When this kid is 23 and graduating from college - instead of embarking on 3-6 for felony convictions - he'll thank Mom for putting his Playstation2 on eBay.

Yes, but he'll probably write a shitty essay about it that will still make the universe that much worse. I'ts a wash, really.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 10:28 AM on June 4, 2004

As for the need to justify it to the world, it's what we do as parents.

You might, I certainly don't, and neither do other parents whom I respect.

To friends, yes of course; literally to the world is puerile spite. We all need peer groups of some sort to help us judge our behavior, but the universe of all eBay users is not exactly such a group for judging parenting skills for anybody well grounded in reality.

I can accept that a good parent might slip into this kind of behavior inadvertently, but it is not something to boast about or think normal.
posted by Quinbus Flestrin at 10:32 AM on June 4, 2004

The entire thing reeks something mightily. I hope to God it's fake, because I dread to imagine anyone whose spelling and grammar are that appalling raising a child...
posted by kaemaril at 10:43 AM on June 4, 2004

I bet Keyser is so pissed now that his PS2 is gone.

I kid!
posted by Ufez Jones at 10:48 AM on June 4, 2004

do bugles have sliders? I thought that was trombones...
posted by terrymiles at 10:51 AM on June 4, 2004

The car I drive has an interesting history. It used to belong to a distant cousin's teenage son. He kept getting speeding tickets, so the car went on his dad's used car lot. Whereupon my parents bought it. And gave it to me.

I'm a parent. I see nothing at all outrageous about what they did, but I suspect that if they had kept a shorter leash when the kid was younger they may not have had to go that far.

In my house, the secret is, you have to have a good relationship with them on a day to day basis, but when they screw up they have to deal with the consequenses. That is what real life is all about, and when they are on their own those lessons can be much harsher and definitely impersonal. The fact is that this kid did damage to valuable items, and did not seem to understand the gravity of what he did. If he had done this at a friend's house he could have been explaining himself at the police station. As it is, selling the item to reimburse the value of the items is reasonable. And if it were my kid, he would learn how many mowed lawns it takes to buy another one, if you get my meaning.

(My offspring are 19, 18, and 17 and we are all on good speaking terms. heh.)
posted by konolia at 11:08 AM on June 4, 2004

I don't think it's the punishment per se people are objecting to (I'm not, anyway — hell, I'd do the same thing if it were a roommate who drank my $120 champagne) but the whinging tone, the self-pity, the crass materialism, etc.

That, and the egregious grammar and spelling. Some people don't need to procreate.
posted by IshmaelGraves at 11:42 AM on June 4, 2004

I think selling the kids Play Station was reasonable. The public scolding in the item description is the part that I question.
posted by jennyb at 11:45 AM on June 4, 2004

jennyb: That's what gets me about this. It's one thing to take away a kid's PlayStation, even sell it. It's quite another to take it and sell it on eBay! That's right, we said eBay, and we're gonna explain every reason why we're selling it and millions of people will see it and laugh at you! Try to top that, kid!

It introduces a degree of immaturity to the parents (or the mother, at least) which is really quite frightening. It seems like she's trying to compete with the kid.
posted by DrJohnEvans at 11:54 AM on June 4, 2004

The trick to successful ebaying now-a-days is to make something that stands out or is otherwise noteworthy.

At any given time there are literally hundreds of PS2's for sale. Anything to make yours stand out from the crowd.

The odds that this is even REMOTELY true are tiny.

(For the record, I'm with the crowd: if it were true, I think selling the PS2 is perfectly acceptable. The diatribe is not.)
posted by Ynoxas at 12:20 PM on June 4, 2004

yeah, i'll weigh in with the "fake" crowd. why not sell any of his games with it? bogus.
posted by mrgrimm at 12:27 PM on June 4, 2004

Are there any parents in this thread? It seems hard to believe from the comments.

I don't think anyone finding fault with this ebay listing has disagreed about the punishment. The punishment fits the crime and I'm glad a 13 year old kid is getting his playstation taken away.

But, if I had a 13 year old son that was lying and drinking alcohol, that would be a major red flag that eclipses how much anything cost in terms of damage. The person writing the listing (which I am believing to be true) seems fixated on the actual monetary damage, neglecting the much more troubling idea of teenaged drinking.

The kids I knew at 13 who drank were pretty fucked up kids that went on to do all sorts of bad shit. I seriously hope the parent is seeking help in dealing with their child and taking away a playstation should be a minor footnote on a larger plan to revamp this child's life.
posted by mathowie at 12:29 PM on June 4, 2004

People, people.

Yes, the auction is a fake, but the 13 year old doesn't know that. Hasn't anyone got kids. That kid is going to do anything the mother wants, to right the damage he's caused.
posted by dayvin at 12:34 PM on June 4, 2004

The outcome of the war being waged is already determined. The mother is an idiot and the child an unfortunate casualty. Dragging their family problems into a public forum indicates that it's out of control, in a tail-spin, and about to auger into the dirt. Alcohol isn't the issue (think European) nor does it make sense that the displayed debacle is intended to bring a higher selling price (note the rather insignificant winning bid). The feedback is solid and unusual (it's a bit of a challenge to get 100% with that many transactions) which would suggest a decent person owns that account.

Decent but stupid. They need to rewind the tape and find the point where their lives lost convergence. Oh, and get professional help, privately. A little dignity might help.
posted by tonebarge at 1:36 PM on June 4, 2004

I'm not entirely sure how much of a loss one could recoup by selling a Playstation 2. I assume that the parents had paid for it in the first place, so not only are they continuing to lose money all they're doing is antagonizing the kid.

Now, I've never tasted Dom Perignon, but I balked at paying $120 for a PS2 that I'd be playing for years, let along a bottle of bubbly I'd drink once. But that's just me.

Frankly, the whole thing sounds like the stuff I would've cooked up on the playground as a little kid. Except even then I would've spelled everything correctly.
posted by codger at 1:57 PM on June 4, 2004

After a closer look, it all makes sense, if you happen to glance at what these people have been buying lately.

They've been buying marbles. Obviously to replace the ones they've lost.
posted by codger at 2:04 PM on June 4, 2004

Item location: Central Arkansas. I don't have the energy to write any more about this.
posted by notbrain at 4:55 PM on June 4, 2004

I did a little digging on EBay and it does turn out that the seller did have a bugle up for auction before selling the PlayStation. However, when I saw the feedback for the bugle, this is what I found:

This blond really knows how to blow a horn, all 17 inches of it! Buyer saejin56( 15) May-27-04 01:13 Reply by tribleheart: Great humor! Can play a bugle but not a trombone! :@ May-27-04 08:26

The auction for the PS2 suggests that "tribleheart" could not complete the transaction involving the bugle, because it was broken. But she got positive feedback for the auction anyway. And I still cannot totally decrypt the borderline oral sex jokes in the feedback posting. This gets weirder the more you look at it.
posted by jonp72 at 5:03 PM on June 4, 2004

mathowie - you've hit the nail on the head. This kid's heading towards serious trouble and selling his playstation is not going to fix the real problem. Aside from counseling, maybe she ought to question what kind of friends his son has that hang round and drink beer and wine. They shouldn't be allowed in that house. He shouldn't be allowed to go to their houses. Period.
posted by pyramid termite at 8:07 PM on June 4, 2004

I'm calling shenanigans on the whole thing. I think the story is total and complete fiction. (And poorly written, spelled and formatted fiction, at that.)

First off, what are the odds that a wine store in arkansas was cellaring a 1995 DP? As an aside, 1995 was a crap year for the champagne district and the prices reflect that. (The French reds on the other hand...were extraordinary that year, I'd sell my mother for a case of the Lafleur or Latoure Bordeaux. Well, not *my* mother, but certainly my MIL...)

$6.00 beer? Can you buy beer for $6.00? Maybe other states don't have the punitive sin taxes that we do...but even the spooky, 'make you go blind in the night' - beer is more expensive than that in any quantity that would result in a "house trashing".

The story itself isn't written in the tone, language or linguistic stylings of anyone old enough to be the parent of a 13 year old...even if they gave birth themselves at 13...it's too over the top for a parent. Even if, gods forbid, a parent had written that...in a 7 day auction, there was plenty of time to calm down, rethink and edit.

The kids I knew at 13 who drank were pretty fucked up kids that went on to do all sorts of bad shit. - #1

I'll have to disagree with you on that one Matt. My mother is a chef, and my sister and I both started learning how to pair wines with food when we were about 11 or 12. We were allowed to have mimosas at brunch, and sangria at outdoor barbecues, wines with dinner...and on special occasions we were allowed dessert liquors.

Most of my European friends grew up drinking wines. None of us, to date, has robbed a liquor store to support our grape habit. In fact, the kids who had alcohol demystified were much less likely to be the ones getting drunk in secret, or killing themselves by driving home after having 12 too many. (It also meant that our palates were sophisticated enough that the concept of garbage can punch was never going to be appealing.)

It's all a matter of perspective. Were this story true...which again, I seriously doubt...I would say that removal of the playstation would be a fair response, and as konolia says, he could mow yards to earn a new one.

And from my heart to god's ear...I really hope it's a fake story...because I pity any kid that could be trapped with a person who would publicly humiliate her child for what I consider to be a relatively minor incident.
posted by dejah420 at 10:40 PM on June 4, 2004

The theory is that if kids lie around drunk a lot, then their inhibitions fall, and they could end up moving on to something else. No matter how strictly you've raised the kid, if they're drunk, they might succomb to 'trying' drugs or having under-age sex while when sober the thought might horrify them.

I have no problem with kids drinking alcohol (or I do, but it's none of my business to judge), however, as long as it's in moderation and in an area where they can be safe and supervised, at least minimally. It's when they go out roaming the streets totally drunk that bad things are going to occur.
posted by wackybrit at 9:49 AM on June 5, 2004


Bugles have a small section that slides so they can be tuned.
posted by waltb555 at 8:38 AM on June 7, 2004

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