Marry Blaire
August 17, 2004 10:27 PM   Subscribe

It's Time For Blaire To Get Married....and She Needs Your Help! Heh. Looks like she's looking for an ex-husband.
posted by tbc (54 comments total)
If this was a guy it would be creepy and scary.
posted by Space Coyote at 10:32 PM on August 17, 2004

If this was a guy it would be creepy and scary.

yea, but then we could at least laugh at it.

when it's a female who is actually attractive... i dunno.

is it okay to oogle?
posted by Stynxno at 10:37 PM on August 17, 2004

Tootie, Jo, and Nathalie are next.
posted by PrinceValium at 10:47 PM on August 17, 2004

Dibbs on Tootie.
posted by Stan Chin at 10:54 PM on August 17, 2004

And boy can she sing! [mp3]
posted by dobbs at 10:57 PM on August 17, 2004

This woman is nowhere near as creepy as Mary Romantic (discussed on MeFi here). And Space Coyote, what about 10K for a Wife? Prior discussions of this kind of site here and here.
posted by caitlinb at 10:58 PM on August 17, 2004

Attractive people can get away with anything. I wonder if 'she' is actually a 12 year old boy.
posted by chunking express at 11:27 PM on August 17, 2004

I discussed this site in my post a few weeks ago. I am so ahead of my time!

I do think it's interesting that she's created a website about getting married and he (Marc) created a website about getting devirginized. And both are getting similar amounts of scorn.

Note also the frightening "This is how I'll look when my husband asks me to marry him" photo.
posted by onlyconnect at 11:35 PM on August 17, 2004

Sweet, I'm totally in her age range. I'd be interested if I wasn't so creeped out.
posted by drezdn at 11:37 PM on August 17, 2004

Chunking Express: You mean like that kid from Hanson? I swore up and down that was a girl when they first came out.

This is quickly going into an uncomfortable area, I think.
posted by geekhorde at 12:01 AM on August 18, 2004

1. She's not that attractive.
2. She's a fucking psycho.
3. She probably doesn't do anal.

Not marraige material, IMHO.
posted by pemulis at 12:16 AM on August 18, 2004

A true nice guy - a king.

Who the fuck says that? this is pathetic.
posted by pemulis at 12:20 AM on August 18, 2004

Since she admits she meets lots of men through her work, I would guess the reason she hasn't got engaged yet is that she is setting her standards way too high. She's good looking and obviously quite intelligent, so I doubt she has too many men turning her down.

Word of advice, love - Mr Perfect ain't out there. You'll have to settle for Mr Pretty Good.
posted by salmacis at 12:23 AM on August 18, 2004

Ah, the Internet... once the world's weirdoes were invisible, but now we can see them all from the comfort of our homes and offices.

Also, that page's HTML appears to have been generated with MS Word or something... which is just bad.
posted by reklaw at 12:31 AM on August 18, 2004

[fark]Look at those sharp knees, I definately wouldn't hit it.[/fark]

Also, smells like astroturf.
posted by krisjohn at 12:46 AM on August 18, 2004

It's time for Blaire to get mar^H^H^H^H^H seek some professional help.

Usually, people who crave this much attention have deep and profound psychological problems. Tough break!
posted by metaxa at 1:32 AM on August 18, 2004

Never quite understood this "time to get married" thing, anyhow. Surely, the only "time to get married" is when you've met the right person and you both agree it's something you want to do? It's almost as bad as a "time to have babies". For crying out loud, stop trying to live the life your parents mapped out for you and enjoy the world as it is!
posted by benzo8 at 1:50 AM on August 18, 2004

Wow, she's actually not fat. From the tight face shot on the first page, I woulda guessed mudflaps for sure: "Here's my picture! Isn't the area between my upper lip and eyebrows attractive?" Uh. Yeah. Red flag.

But she's actually not made out of cottage cheese... So then... what?

Oh. Psycho. Gotcha.
posted by scarabic at 2:35 AM on August 18, 2004


Funny to see this after listening to Crass' 'Penis Envy' for two days solid.
Love don't make the world go round, it holds it right in place
Keeps us thinking love's too pure to see another face
Love's another skin-trap, another social weapon
Another way to make men slaves and women at their beckon
Love's another sterile gift, another shit condition
That keeps us seeing just the one and others not existing
Woman in a holy myth, a gift of mans expression
She's sweet, defenceless, golden-eyed, a gift of gods repression
If we didn't have these codes for love, of tokens and positions
We'd find ourselves as lovers still, not tokens of possessions
It's a natural, it's a romance, without the power and greed
We can fight to life the cover if you want to sow a seed
Do you love me? Do you? Do you? Don't you see they aim to smother
The actual possibilities of seeing all the others?

-smother love 
posted by kaibutsu at 3:58 AM on August 18, 2004

At least she's got a sense of humor about her singing.
posted by bafflegab at 4:32 AM on August 18, 2004

She's too old to get married. She'll have to become a gender-feminist or a nun.
posted by jfuller at 5:08 AM on August 18, 2004

How is it possible with all of the wingnuts I have dated I didn't stumble across her.
posted by fluffycreature at 5:10 AM on August 18, 2004

She looks like Janice from Friends.
posted by Summer at 5:22 AM on August 18, 2004

Har!!! Love the Google Ads down the side of this thread.. "Creepy Freaks Superstore"... "Creepy Freaks Cheap"...
posted by chrid at 5:22 AM on August 18, 2004

jfuller: A Jewish nun?
posted by alumshubby at 5:35 AM on August 18, 2004

This strikes me as though she's gone over the top on purpose in order to get everyone's attention.

Seems to be working.
posted by orange swan at 5:53 AM on August 18, 2004

well, her recording technique is terrible ... she's eating the microphone when she "sings" ... hmmmmm ... maybe she might be alright ...
posted by pyramid termite at 6:01 AM on August 18, 2004

Too skinny for my tastes.

Also, she's psycho.
posted by tommasz at 6:53 AM on August 18, 2004

posted by FormlessOne at 7:02 AM on August 18, 2004

On first glance, I thought she was using the web to propose marriage to Tony Blair.
posted by ursus_comiter at 7:02 AM on August 18, 2004

I want to see the emails from the women who are saying she's a whackjob instead of "You go girl!" You know she's getting them. I'd send one, but meh. Guess at 34 I missed my shot, if 27 is when us wimmins are "supposed" to get married.

I think she's doing it for $$ anyway. She's done a hell of a marketing job to get all that press attention. She'll be making ugly handbags a la Monica Lewinsky by next summer.
posted by jennaratrix at 7:17 AM on August 18, 2004

The trick to getting married is simple: apathy. You start dating someone, but are too lazy to break up with them. You might be able to do better, but a bird in the hand...

Having criteria (other than gender, and perhaps age) is bad news for getting married. You have to have no expectations - they will not be met. Which might be a good thing - sometimes you find that what you thought you wanted was not what you wanted at all. Maybe what would make you most happy is not the tall, dark and handsome stranger to be your "king," but the kind, funny person who is first and foremost your friend.
posted by jb at 7:21 AM on August 18, 2004

Or the balding, obese, furry next-door-neighbor who happens to be rich, for that matter. It's a matter of give and take.
posted by FormlessOne at 7:25 AM on August 18, 2004

Thanx, Metafilter - you just made my job so much easier. I came in this morning with a deadline and a blank slate. Thank god for memes.
posted by Perigee at 7:33 AM on August 18, 2004

with my 27th birthday just a few weeks away (I'm 27 now!!)

Uhh, am I missing something?

yes, I'm too lazy to explore further.
posted by GhostintheMachine at 7:42 AM on August 18, 2004

My Blog Fat Jewish Wedding
posted by prodigalsun at 8:56 AM on August 18, 2004

"I coach singles on improving their self esteem, increasing self-awareness and growth (I'm a Love Coach - ) as well as plan events for couples. I know relationships. Furthermore, I run my own Bachelorette Planning company (Metro Event Planners - "

I run screaming from the evil "Love Coach". How exactly does one get to be a Love Coach? Do you have to start out as a Love Player for a few years then retire and wait for someone to hire you as an Assistant Love Coach in the college ranks then work your way up ?
posted by cmdnc0 at 9:57 AM on August 18, 2004

I hadn't really formed an opinion of this woman until I listened to her mp3. I think she's hysterical. Anyone who can draw that much attention to herself and then poke fun at herself can't be that bad. That takes quite a bit of humility.
posted by PigAlien at 10:06 AM on August 18, 2004

This is how I'll look when I meet my husband

Word of advice, you might want to work on that look. Scary!

1. She's not that attractive.
2. She's a fucking psycho.
3. She probably doesn't do anal.

Not marraige material, IMHO.

BUWAHAHAHAHAH Laughing out loud at the office!! I love it.
posted by a3matrix at 10:39 AM on August 18, 2004

This makes me miss the "Date My Sister Project" from -- circa 2001. Long gone now.
posted by coelecanth at 10:52 AM on August 18, 2004

The world is filled with crazy therapists, who can solve anyone's problems but their own. This lonely Love Coach is so predictable that if she did not exist, she would be invented. What is saddest to me about this thread is the willingness to belittle her with sneers about her expectations - shades of Jon Lovitz? - although I commend PigAlien's joyful recovery of "hysterical."

I wonder if Blaire is caught between a desire to live exactly as she wants and a compulsion to follow a script that is slightly at odds. Even if her frame of reference is not completely true, she can still win, as she defines it. There is nothing so strange that there is no one who excited by it, and the Internet vastly increases the odds of winning such a numbers game.

Or maybe she's just a JAP. We don't really know.
posted by caitlinb at 11:01 AM on August 18, 2004

It's Stacy from Wayne's World!
posted by darren at 11:11 AM on August 18, 2004

posted by dame at 11:16 AM on August 18, 2004

pyramid termite: Lots of good singers (Thom Yorke, Chris Martin) eat the mic. Her mic sucks is all.
posted by abcde at 12:17 PM on August 18, 2004

And here I was hoping for a different Blair MeFi knows and loves.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 12:18 PM on August 18, 2004

The point of this isn't desperation, the point of this clearly is to have fun, get attention and (also) to flaunt the relatively succesful and good looking guys willing to be part of her grand experiment.

It is obviously not the case that someone like Blair has to "go public" like this. Every decent looking, under 30 Jewish girl I know who's listed herself on the dating sites ends up getting HUNDREDS of replies ...

Even after eliminating the obvious psychos and perverts, and then running the "40 screen" (waistband and age under 40, income over $40k) they were each left with dozens of reasonably likely potentials; they could have spent years working through the list.
posted by MattD at 12:31 PM on August 18, 2004

A true nice guy - a king.

Who the fuck says that? this is pathetic.

uhm... jewish people for thousands of years... it's in their marriage contracts; she will treat him as her king and he will treat her as his queen. i'm pretty sure she's referencing that tradition when she makes that statement.

she is a bit out there but some of the comments in this thread are downright creepy - there's nothing like an oddball and his/her website to bring out the goatse qualities of most mefites.
posted by t r a c y at 12:38 PM on August 18, 2004

most mefites have horribly expanded anuses?
posted by Jeremy at 12:56 PM on August 18, 2004

Proud Jersey girl! Did the city thing, and am now am back in good ol Jerz

Unmarried, reasonably attractive and 27? Apparently she didn't do "the city thing" long enough.
posted by psmealey at 1:08 PM on August 18, 2004

Hmm, let’s see… fairly attractive, reasonably young, and yet for some reason hot to settle down.
The Clap.
posted by dong_resin at 3:36 PM on August 18, 2004

No, Jeremy, but I'd horribly expand her anus.

But only because the grey aliens pay me to do so.
posted by bargle at 7:44 PM on August 18, 2004

Guess it's all about advertising everywhere you can -
I have a really great story to tell you - I met a guy! Now this is no ordinary meeting, it's one that was brought together by "the forces above." Let me tell you....

I was at this TV shoot on Tuesday and there was this guy there checking me out. I only saw him twice and we had no reason to interact, but I was definitely intrigued and attracted to him.

Anyway, I was there for an hour and then left. I didn't think much of it...
I get home that evening and notice an email - from HIM!

posted by thomcatspike at 2:45 PM on August 23, 2004

Oh my. Thanks for the update.
posted by onlyconnect at 3:30 PM on August 23, 2004

Wait, seems a saw a movie similar to this, dope!.
posted by thomcatspike at 12:51 PM on August 27, 2004

« Older RE: Robotron   |   It'll go over well in Nantucket... Newer »

This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments