The third testament... kicks ass!
September 9, 2004 1:47 PM   Subscribe

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter
posted by Mwongozi (18 comments total)
I saw this on Scream TV last fall. It just kept getting crazier and crazier. By the time El Santos showed up, it was out of control. Tons of fun.

The Power of Christ Impales You
posted by Stuart_R at 1:50 PM on September 9, 2004

Any movie with a character named "The screaming lesbian" can't be all bad.
posted by Captain Ligntning at 2:06 PM on September 9, 2004

And then there's Ultrachrist!, which also contains wrestling. And lesbians. How odd.
(full disclosure: I make an appearance as the undead Richard Nixon.)
posted by muckster at 2:08 PM on September 9, 2004

Saw this last year. It's a hoot.
posted by sauril at 2:13 PM on September 9, 2004

Front of my queue at Netflix...
posted by mzanatta at 2:49 PM on September 9, 2004


the theme song, "everybody gets laid tonight," is great.
posted by lotsofno at 3:08 PM on September 9, 2004

My buddy is in it for a fraction of a second as the atheist in the blue shirt whose face you don't see who Jesus slugs.

*vicarious fame*
posted by Pseudoephedrine at 3:26 PM on September 9, 2004

It is very funny - but the funniest of all? I heard it had a budget of about $100 000 Canadian, and it still was that bad.
posted by jb at 3:51 PM on September 9, 2004

Yea - high kitch factor, middling entertainment, low quality.
posted by gottabefunky at 6:27 PM on September 9, 2004

"The third testament?"
posted by Songdog at 8:05 PM on September 9, 2004

Aw, c'mon, jb, this isn't the sort of film you go to expecting Quality. Anyway, I thought it was a blast (saw it back in 2001), and I'm definitely going to keep an eye out for Black Kissinger.
"His name's Kissinger, Henry Kissinger. No relation. He carries a badge, a gun - and a whole lot of attitude. How much attitude? Put it this way: you remember Shaft? Superfly? Action Jackson? Pussies.
posted by arto at 8:55 PM on September 9, 2004

I saw this movie when they held a screening at the major conference for the scholarly study of religion two years ago. Seriously.

My problem with the movie:
"Jesus Christ comes back as a martial artist to save the lesbians of Ottawa from vampires - and it has a Mexican wrestler in it!"

While that has to be the coolest one-line description of a movie ever, I didn't think there was really much that was interesting (or funny) there beyond the description. It's not that I wanted quality à la Casablanca or Hitchcock - I would have been plenty satisfied with the likes of Spaceballs or UHF. But this wasn't.
posted by ramakrishna at 11:12 PM on September 9, 2004

Everyone I know is in this movie, I think. Seriously. If you live in Ottawa, everyone you know is in this movie too.

It's wicked, though. Buy it.
posted by Jairus at 5:59 AM on September 10, 2004

From title and descriptions I'd read, I figured this had to be good. At least in a bad movie kinda way. It wasn't. Bored me to tears.

Bubba Ho-Tep - now that was good.
posted by MsVader at 9:16 AM on September 10, 2004

It would have worked better if Jesus had kept the Jesus look, or at least the hair.

Um...and maybe had better writing and acting - production values you can do without, but creative ones are essential. And I say this as someone who has watched many student films, and has an appreciation for both indie and B movies.
posted by jb at 9:52 AM on September 10, 2004

But I the dance numbers did have production values. I enjoyed it a lot.
posted by drezdn at 9:56 AM on September 11, 2004

posted by drezdn at 10:31 AM on September 11, 2004

i still say this is the best vampire hunting jesus christ based musical going around. it's like having seen star wars the musical (an MIT production), it doesn't matter if it's good, it matters that you saw it
posted by NGnerd at 12:44 PM on September 11, 2004

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