transitive relations
September 29, 2004 11:04 PM   Subscribe

How to Get Ready for Bed. Mrs. Rollman's second grade class provides a series of how-to's.
posted by plexi (23 comments total)
I just used the grilled cheese one.
posted by justgary at 11:18 PM on September 29, 2004

Budding technical writers, all of them.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 12:46 AM on September 30, 2004

Thanks! The puppy one made my day.
posted by dobbs at 12:57 AM on September 30, 2004

From How to take care of a puppy

"14. Love it forever"

oh my god, my brain will explode now from cuteness.
posted by Parannoyed at 1:11 AM on September 30, 2004

How to read MetaFilter:
1. Start at AskMe; look especially for weird questions about the feasibility of killing bears with a knife or cutting cheese in bed with your SO.
2. Quick check in MeTa for flameouts, meetups.
3. Peruse MeFi at leisure.
4. Stalk your favorite people by checking their recent posts. Add relevant new info to Super Secret Spy file.
5. Return to AskMe to see what's new. Repeat cycle.
posted by onlyconnect at 1:23 AM on September 30, 2004

1. Open Metafilter and swtich to "my comments" for follow up purposes.
2. Ctrl-T on Metatalk link to get that all loaded up and ready to go.
3. Read all "my comments" threads and comment again where necessary.
4. Move over to Metatalk and participate where I can.
5. Return to Metafilter for a look at new posts.
6. Exhausted, move over to AskMe for dessert. Kinda like on Christmas morning, after you've done all the gift exchanging, remembering that you still have a stocking full of goodies to crash through.
posted by Witty at 2:00 AM on September 30, 2004

All right, now I am going to have to watch a Stallone flick just to feel manly again.

[this is cute]
posted by Joey Michaels at 2:46 AM on September 30, 2004

Most excellent.
posted by sageleaf at 3:14 AM on September 30, 2004

My face hurts from the OMG THAT'S CUTE smile I have from reading these.

Second graders are very serious about detail!
posted by kamylyon at 4:30 AM on September 30, 2004

Wow. I remember writing these sorts of things in grade school. It was all about "expository writing" and we'd start with flow charts (decision diamonds were my favourite), then do instruction lists, then write paragraphs.

I actually learned a really important lesson during those sessions, one that I still use in my technical writing today: you have to break your instructions down into individual steps that the user already knows how to do, and no farther. If you break it down too far, they will get bored with your instructions and start trying things on their own, eventually getting messed up when they reach the part that you're trying to teach them; if you don't break it down far enough, they get frustrated and annoyed and call help desk immediately.
posted by jacquilynne at 4:54 AM on September 30, 2004

Clearly the secular humanist agenda advances apace: at no time does the little presleeper thank the Lord Thundering Jesus for not striking them down that day. Excellent.
posted by bonehead at 6:40 AM on September 30, 2004

At what point does "Step 3: Profit!!!" corrupt their minds? I say 6th grade, the ultimate marketplace for the cutthroat mechanical pencil trade.
posted by Stan Chin at 7:14 AM on September 30, 2004

How to appear to be working

1. Open Outlook
2. Open main business application - CRM, Accounting, or whatever you do.
3. Open Internet Explorer
4. Use alt+tab as needed whenever a manager walks by
posted by internal at 7:21 AM on September 30, 2004

You can cut someone's throat with a mechanical pencil? Those things have come a long way.
posted by jonmc at 7:23 AM on September 30, 2004

Not to rain on anyone's cute parade or anything, but I just checked out the ice skating one—I've never been good at it—and you know, there wasn't exactly a plethora of advice. "Move my feet back and forth slowly"? What if I fall?
posted by kenko at 7:32 AM on September 30, 2004

Kenko, dang it, now we have a bunch of wet puppies!

This instruction makes perfect sense from a kid POV -- isn't that how little kids learn to skate? By doing what looks like a very slow pop-n-lock robot on ice? She just forgot to add "hang on to the wall if you have to."

Thanks for the adorability, plexi.
posted by melissa may at 7:52 AM on September 30, 2004

There are some future technical writers in this bunch -- seriously!
posted by alumshubby at 7:55 AM on September 30, 2004

More puppies (and video games, and houses to count all the way to twelve): it's worth looking at how the kids lucky enough to have Mrs. Rollman as a teacher spend their time.

The woman knows how to teach.
posted by melissa may at 8:23 AM on September 30, 2004

And look, they have better Metafilter threads than we do. Watch out for Emily though.
posted by Stan Chin at 9:00 AM on September 30, 2004

Actually, Stan, that thread suffers from the same problem that people complain about in Metafilter threads. Why are there no partisans of the "woman can't be president" position?
posted by kenko at 10:00 AM on September 30, 2004

kenko: Now I believe you're trying to drown the puppies.

Stan: Emily in 2030!
posted by melissa may at 10:56 AM on September 30, 2004

And look, they have better Metafilter threads than we do.

Yeah, I don't see any of them calling each other asshats.
posted by Shane at 11:27 AM on September 30, 2004

Poke around the site some more, and saw this 'fabulous fact' from John: a mammal is an animal that is born alive.
posted by of strange foe at 12:53 PM on September 30, 2004

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