Let the Spanish keep it, it’s a shithole
November 10, 2004 5:11 AM   Subscribe

Fuck the South.
posted by swift (74 comments total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: I just woke up.



 
This Post Was Removed Because: Fuck The South
posted by Frank Grimes at 5:14 AM on November 10, 2004


http://www.metafilter.com/mefi/36838
posted by sciurus at 5:22 AM on November 10, 2004


Do not fuck with the South.

You fuck with the South, you fuck with me.

And I'll kick your ass.

I'm from the South.

Peace is the answer.

Unless you meant like 'sex-not-war-fucking'. Then, by all means....fuck the ever living shit out of the South.

We deserve it.
posted by wah at 5:23 AM on November 10, 2004


Since this thread will most likely be around for a few hours, why not go visit oblivio and read something.
posted by sciurus at 5:26 AM on November 10, 2004


Fuck the United States of America. Fuck 'em. We were lucky to have let them go when they wanted to leave. But no, we had to kill several hundred people so they'd stay part of our special Monarchy. Fighting for the right to lower taxes - while New York went right on raising them up regardless - yeah, those are states we want to keep.
posted by Smart Dalek at 5:26 AM on November 10, 2004


Oh, yeah - DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS.
posted by Smart Dalek at 5:27 AM on November 10, 2004


hatin' on the south is weak. we brought you jazz, grits, and ME.
posted by glenwood at 5:33 AM on November 10, 2004


Fuck the search engine.
posted by swift at 5:34 AM on November 10, 2004


The secessionists are looking at the state-by-state Red/Blue map. A better indicator is the county-by-county Red/Blue map [on which almost all of the counties are red, even in the blue states]. Liberals don't need to secede. We need to turn Blue counties into Liberal Reservations, just like Indian Reservations. They can have their own law requiring taxpayer funded partial birth abortions, and we can have ours prohibiting it. Women who want one can visit the reservation, just as they did to get divorced in Reno, and just as they do to play the slots at Mystic Lake. I nominate Al Gore for Commissioner of the Bureau of Liberal Affairs to run the reservations, hopefully as efficiently and courteously as BIA works now.

(from Powerline)
posted by jfuller at 5:36 AM on November 10, 2004


grits are tasty!
posted by sciurus at 5:37 AM on November 10, 2004


I take that back.
posted by swift at 5:44 AM on November 10, 2004


What language!

That said, what language.
posted by andreaazure at 5:45 AM on November 10, 2004


(1960)Nigger = (2000)Faggot
posted by four panels at 5:54 AM on November 10, 2004


(1960)Nigger = (2000)Faggot

that's gay...
posted by stifford at 5:58 AM on November 10, 2004


(1960)Nigger = (2001/9/11)Sand Nigger

Sad but true, and wrong on both counts.

Not me, but again, I know my home. Some of them are stuck a long, long time ago. In a galaxy far, far away.

It's called...Tejas, and it means Friend.

That is why we are ashamed of Bush. Bush is supposed to blow away. Weeds are what we have now in the Whitehouse Lawn.

Perhaps we should mow it?
posted by wah at 6:10 AM on November 10, 2004


the chip on jfuller's shoulder is just too massive to behold.


anyway:

The People Have Spoken
posted by matteo at 6:11 AM on November 10, 2004


"Tell me one more thing. Why do you say Fuck the South?"
"I dont say fuck it," Quentin said, quickly, at once, immediately; "I dont say fuck it," he said. "I dont fucking hate it he thought, panting in the cold air, the iron New England dark: I dont. I dont! I dont fucking hate it! I dont fuckity fuck fucking hate it!"
William Faulkner, Absalom, Absalom!, improved version.
posted by palancik at 6:15 AM on November 10, 2004


What I love about that Powerline post (and that rhetoric has been seen elsewhere) is it shows inarguably how little the people there know anything about what they're talking about.

Blue States? Those "liberal enclaves" that provide 90% of the economy of each state? Umm... yeah, they subsidize everything. They're why corn is so inexpensive and why states with less than a million people in them have interstate highways. California- perhaps you've heard of it. Fifth largest economy on the planet. One state. Wake me when Montana can manufacture 75% or so of the world's computer infastructure. Until then, hush, dearie, the grownups are talking.

These assholes think gay marriage is disgusting; imagine what they'd have to do to survive if the blue states actually did secede from them.

LGF and FreeRepublic is just a bunch of people who are bigoted and insane. Places like PowerLine are people who are just stupid with rhetoric akin to "my daddy can beat up your daddy" logic, and as a liberal that's honestly more entertaining to watch.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 6:17 AM on November 10, 2004


> the chip on jfuller's shoulder is just too massive to behold.

It's not a chip, matteo, it's the world--notably including Italia. Y'all better hope Atlas, I mean jfuller, doesn't shrug...


> Blue States? Those "liberal enclaves" that provide 90% of the economy of each
> state? Umm... yeah, they subsidize everything. They're why corn is so inexpensive
> and why states with less than a million people in them have interstate highways.

That happens because of the progressive income tax. So, since you're suddenly annoyed at having to support the less fortunate, get rid of progressive taxation and shift more of the burden off you rich enclave dwellers and onto us poor folks. See how imperceptably you're drifting to the right? The Log Cabin Republicans await your application, coming shortly.
posted by jfuller at 6:35 AM on November 10, 2004


The secessionists are looking at the state-by-state Red/Blue map. A better indicator is the county-by-county Red/Blue map [on which almost all of the counties are red, even in the blue states]. Liberals don't need to secede. We need to turn Blue counties into Liberal Reservations, just like Indian Reservations. They can have their own law requiring taxpayer funded partial birth abortions, and we can have ours prohibiting it. Women who want one can visit the reservation, just as they did to get divorced in Reno, and just as they do to play the slots at Mystic Lake. I nominate Al Gore for Commissioner of the Bureau of Liberal Affairs to run the reservations, hopefully as efficiently and courteously as BIA works now.

This is what passes for conservative thought now? Heh, that's funny. Tell you what, you guys can have fly-over country, with its wide open spaces and god fearing people. I'm just interested in what you'll do for money after New England and the West Coast become reservations.

You could always try that slave thing again, right?

That happens because of the progressive income tax

Hehehe... That's so cute.
posted by SweetJesus at 6:40 AM on November 10, 2004


Fuck Fuck the South.
posted by soyjoy at 6:43 AM on November 10, 2004


But really, fuck the south.

There are some awfully nice people there, but they're stuck like flies in a racist, homophobic, xenophobic ointment.

Go form your own country, we won't fight to keep you this time. Promise.
posted by bshort at 6:43 AM on November 10, 2004


Well, this is certainly productive.
posted by monju_bosatsu at 6:46 AM on November 10, 2004


You know what, the discussion on the other thread was better.
posted by adamgreenfield at 6:52 AM on November 10, 2004


> Well, this is certainly productive.

A thread that's going to be deleted any second seems a reasonable litter box for folks to indulge in a little aggro. After deletion happens it'll all be out of sight and, one hopes, also out of mind. Fuck the south, indeed, come on guys, let it all hang out, tell me how you really feel.
posted by jfuller at 6:56 AM on November 10, 2004


well when I saw this yesterday I passed it on to 3 co workers, all of them passed it on to many more people than that.

perhaps I am to blame for it coming back.

I apologize.

I also got a lot of pleasure out of reading it, even with all of the policical and logical problems with such a stand.

sorry everybody. . .*smile*
posted by Danf at 7:03 AM on November 10, 2004


Also, I love XQUZYPHYR. EOM
posted by adamgreenfield at 7:06 AM on November 10, 2004


The tone of this very aggressive, this is true enough, but there were actually some interesting links in it. The links on divorce rates were pretty surprising.

Just for balance's sake, here's a
red stater who wants to send us blue staters packing.

I love the bit about Bush USA being predominantly white, and the suggestion that this is actually a good thing. These fuckers don’t even try to hide it anymore.
posted by psmealey at 7:09 AM on November 10, 2004


sorry... bad html formatting.
posted by psmealey at 7:10 AM on November 10, 2004


Ahem:

What the political map of America really looks like:



Methodology for producing this map here. Counties are resized by population and colored by actual voting participation.

But, by all means folks, continue with the mass delusion that 2.8 million Kerry voters in Texas and 2.8 million Bush voters in California did not exist.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 7:13 AM on November 10, 2004


"That's a purty mouth you got thar' boy. I'm gonna make you squeal like a pig!"

Turn about is fair play.
BTW, many southerners think the site is hilarious!
posted by nofundy at 7:20 AM on November 10, 2004


So, I went to this panel discussion last night about the Abu Ghraib photos. David Levi Strauss made an interesting observation. He said that the photos follow many of the typical conventions of photos documenting torture scenes -- in that they are not unique. What makes the Abu Ghraib photos different is that the torturers are American and they are smiling. Levi Strauss's observation is that somehow this shows the Americans' transcendence beyond the scene of torture. They appear triumphant because they can be at this scene of horrible abuse -- responsible for this abuse -- and yet not be affected by it. It's no surprise then that America has chosen to ignore the images. There's a sense that we aren't to blame.

By contrast, the Iraqis in the photos are undeniably there.
posted by eatitlive at 7:21 AM on November 10, 2004


You used that joke in the deleted thread, nofundy.

Get a new writer.
posted by jonmc at 7:22 AM on November 10, 2004


Some people just aren't as good as finding new ways to say "you're all stupid except me" in 200 words on a daily basis, jonmc. What's your going rate?
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 7:28 AM on November 10, 2004


Actually, most of the time what I'm saying is the exact opposite, XQ, but you go on believing that if it makes you feel better, junior.

And besides, that joke is truly one of the oldest ones in the universe. But who knows, maybe nofudy's is still getting over that traumatic canoe trip, I'll let him heal....
posted by jonmc at 7:33 AM on November 10, 2004


So, since you're suddenly annoyed at having to support the less fortunate, get rid of progressive taxation and shift more of the burden off you rich enclave dwellers and onto us poor folks. See how imperceptably you're drifting to the right?

The problem is that they're taking our handouts and then telling us to go fuck ourselves.

"UN and One World Gub'mint! Dirty homos! Sek-yoo-lar Hah- yumanists! Say, immoral scum, give me some money to teach creationism in my schools and then shut up!"

I say we stop supporting them and see if they don't wise up a bit.
posted by Mayor Curley at 7:36 AM on November 10, 2004


Yeah! While you people verbally fuck eachother your country is busy fucking up Faluja and the rest of Iraq. Well, why don't you go fuck your boy/girlfriends/wives/husbands for a change? Then you might understand the difference between fucking and being fucked up.
posted by acrobat at 7:37 AM on November 10, 2004


Actually, we need a leader like Josef Stalin who would turn those people into our Ukranians-- they'd get re-education and we would get their food. The ones that lived through it would probably be polite enough not to grab with their middle fingers extended.
posted by Mayor Curley at 7:39 AM on November 10, 2004


"Let the Spanish keep it, it’s a shithole," we said, but you had to have your fucking orange juice.

ahaahhahhahahaahahhahahahhahahahahahhahaha!
posted by Potloaf at 7:40 AM on November 10, 2004


Well, why don't you go fuck your boy/girlfriends/wives/husbands for a change?

Oh, the people who support any international mess we make do have sex. They're incredibly fecund. Like every other place with third-world tendencies. They just want the areas with a sense of moderation to subsidize their litters of idiots.
posted by Mayor Curley at 7:43 AM on November 10, 2004


I'm just having the most wicked deja vu moment ever. I could have sworn I read this post yesterday, complete with the butterfly looking vote map.

Anyway, did the South really hand the White House back to George or did they just manipulate the numbers enough to create a convincing win?

Fuck the south? Nah, Fuck All of Us!

Mayor Curley, that's a nice way to put it, sure, they'll take our money but only so they's can yells at us some more and call us "librul faggits". Where would the South be without the North? Sitting by our back door and waiting for table scraps.
posted by fenriq at 7:45 AM on November 10, 2004


You're next jonmc, you fucking Yankee. Just as soon as I get done with this purty mouthed boy. BTW, which end is your ass?
posted by nofundy at 7:49 AM on November 10, 2004


The cute end, nofundy. But you should probably use the strap-on, I like to actually feel it.
posted by jonmc at 7:53 AM on November 10, 2004


Steel chair! Steel chair!
posted by Cyrano at 7:59 AM on November 10, 2004




Fuck this post.
posted by mkultra at 8:03 AM on November 10, 2004


The solution to the red/blue problem is obvious. Get rid of the EC.

Who do you include in "they"?

960K Kerry voters in Colorado (47%)
3.5 million Kerry voters in Florida (47%)
1.2 million Kerry voters in Missouri (46%)
1.4 million Kerry voters in NC (44%)

These are not statistically or culturally insignificant by any stretch of the imagination. But my all means, don't let facts get in the way of your bigotry.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 8:03 AM on November 10, 2004


Can't we all just fucking get along, again?
posted by spilon at 8:04 AM on November 10, 2004


grits are tasty.
posted by sciurus at 8:06 AM on November 10, 2004


more interesting details about this US administration, for those tired of fucking

MJ.com: What happened with Tyson Johnson and his National Guard $2999 bonus pay?

NB: Basically, he was in the National Guard and received a bonus for joining the regular Army. He then suffered massive internal injuries and became 100 percent disabled and, therefore, could not fulfill his three-year contact. His credit report shows he owes the government back all this money, so he was deemed a credit risk when he tried to rent an apartment. Supposedly this is being sorted out for him. ABC did something on Tyson last week and they interviewed some three-star General, who said they would fix it, but I talked with Tyson a couple of days ago and it still hasn’t been fixed. But you know the bottom line is that he lives in this crappy town, away from anyone to advocate for him. And these soldiers don’t know how to advocate for themselves. They’re taught to take orders and not challenge and question authority, and this makes it really hard for them, especially if they are in pain twenty-four hours a day, which many of them are.

MJ.com: What about the rhetoric around troops that politicians use in campaign rallies and commercials?

NB: They say, "support our troops" or they show up at a veteran's parade and that’s it. Or, like Acosta says, they show the war and America changes the channel. For me, the best possible solution is to humiliate politicians publicly, because that’s the only way I can figure out how to make them move.

MJ.com: Are there any similar projects underway that attempt to document the considerable number of Iraqi casualties and injuries?

NB: The only one I know about, and maybe a little off subject, is a short movie about what happens to soldiers who’ve killed someone in combat. Because that’s the thing nobody wants to talk about. And if you want to find a soldier who has post-traumatic stress, it’s not so much the one who saw his buddy killed; it’s the one who did the killing himself. I don’t get into that too much in the book but it’s something as a country that we should start talking about. Because when you send 19 year-olds to Iraq and they kill a bunch of people, what are they supposed to do when you send them home?

That’s why I think matching up Vietnam vets with these Iraqi vets would be a really great thing. When soldiers say only other soldiers can understand, that’s what they’re talking about: what it means to kill. It’s not just the guys with the guns that are killing in Iraq, it’s the truck drivers who are coming back really messed up because their orders are to run over anything that doesn’t get out of the way. In a country with a big urban population, with lots of children, they are running over children. That’s the dark dirty little secret that people don’t want to talk about. Here are our wonderful innocent liberators over in Iraq killing people. Not just bad people, but all people.
posted by acrobat at 8:11 AM on November 10, 2004


The solution to the red/blue problem is obvious. Get rid of the EC.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 10:03 AM CST on November 10


Um. Bush won the popular vote by 3.5 million. How would not having the electoral college change anything? Oh this a 2000 argument, 4 years too late?
_______________

As to the rest of this thread. I opened it and felt like sick to my stomach. This sort of pathetic raving will do nothing but further polarize the polity and this website. But, since you don't care about ruining the country, why should you care about ruining the website? What kind of stupid moron possibly thinks this kind of behavior is civic-minded or mature? Pathetic whiners and gloaters should be ashamed of themselves. Obviously, the winners don't understand the effects of gloating, and the losers, well, you fuckers don't understand that this kind of behaviour is why you lost in the first place. But keep it up! Four more years of this shit will ensure that Metafilter won't be around in any recognizable form in 2008 and that your preferred candidate will surely lose.
posted by Seth at 8:16 AM on November 10, 2004


Gawd I hate The South, I hate The South, I hate The South.

~looks out her window~

Except for the part that I live in.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 8:18 AM on November 10, 2004


My cat's breath smells like fucking.

Uh-oh, I've said too much.
posted by soyjoy at 8:18 AM on November 10, 2004


As a native Mississippian I thought this was pretty funny. It felt good in a blowing off steam sort of way and now I'm ready to move on. I thought about sending this to my momma to pay her back for the Swift Boat email she sent me, but she raised me better than that.

I'm flying home (from SF) for Thanksgiving. Do I need a passport to enter Mississippi yet?
posted by whatever at 8:25 AM on November 10, 2004


fuck the south haiku
and fuck rape haiku because
dear leader deletes
posted by limitedpie at 8:27 AM on November 10, 2004


My cat's breath smells like fucking.

Uh-oh, I've said too much.


!

This thread now has precisely one reason not to be deleted.
posted by dhoyt at 8:31 AM on November 10, 2004


Whatever you do, Don't Fuck With Wisconsin (TM).
posted by drezdn at 8:32 AM on November 10, 2004


The division isn't North vs. South, it's urban vs. rural. Atlanta, Miami, New Orleans, Tallahassee, Raleigh, Durham, Charlotte, Jackson, Birmingham, Memphis went for Kerry. Even in Houston and Dallas it was close. But rural NY went for Bush. Kerry took Illinois by winning in Chicago and nowhere else.

From the beginning the US has disproportionately given rural areas more power than urban. California has 35M people and 2 senators. The bottom 22 states have 33M people and 44 senators. It's that way by design. Were Wyoming a city in California it would be the 6th largest yet has 2 Senators all by itself.

Bush won. Not just the electoral vote because of some monkey business in Florida but the popular vote. This time, Americans have had a chance to see what kind of president and person Bush is and they liked it. Or they saw what kind of candidate (and Senator) Kerry is and didn't.

The US has and will always seem more conservative than it really is. It won't change until the Constitution does. Or when the revolution comes.
posted by TimeFactor at 8:36 AM on November 10, 2004


That is one fine rant, or in the words of the author, one fine, fucking, panty-twisted fuckfest.
posted by theora55 at 8:41 AM on November 10, 2004


"Bush won the popular vote by 3.5 million. How would not having the electoral college change anything?" - Seth

Has anyone looked at turnout rates in hotly contested states versus the cakewalks? That might indicate if blue voters in deep red states (or vice versa) had a tendency not to bother voting. If so, that would be one reason for scrapping the EC system, to give minority votes value.
posted by GhostintheMachine at 8:50 AM on November 10, 2004



posted by mcsweetie at 8:51 AM on November 10, 2004


what TimeFactor said.
posted by shoepal at 8:54 AM on November 10, 2004


I'm flying home (from SF) for Thanksgiving. Do I need a passport to enter Mississippi yet?
posted by whatever at 10:25 AM CST on November 10


Yes. The Bible. Preferably King James.

Southerners love that Old Time Religion (circa 1611.)
posted by four panels at 8:56 AM on November 10, 2004


Where did mcsweetie get that picture of me?!
posted by nofundy at 8:57 AM on November 10, 2004


Actually, we need a leader like Josef Stalin who would turn those people into our Ukranians-- they'd get re-education and we would get their food.

Yep, and he could also pacify Iraq. It's win-win.
posted by Krrrlson at 8:59 AM on November 10, 2004


As an expatriate southerner, I say "Let the fucking begin".
Now I don't know if global warming is going to increase the intensity and frequency of hurricanes, but watching my hometown get the shit blown out of it a few months ago knowing that it's Bush country was rather satisfying.
How do you like having a tarp for a roof, you willfully ignorant, environment raping, redneck assholes?
posted by 2sheets at 9:04 AM on November 10, 2004


Can't we all just fucking get along, again?

Pardon me for not feeling like fucking getting along when I'm being screwed on one side by bigots who hate me because of my religion and sexual orientation, and bigots on the other side who hate me because of my zip code and I like being 30 minutes away from two state parks, a National Forest, and two State Forests.

seth: Take a deep breath and let it out. Kerry lost the election. No matter how much Democrats gamed the system Kerry lost the election. This is not about winning the 2004 election, this is about preserving the Union from the bigoted fuckwads who look at badly designed maps to validate their own regional prejudices.

What the EC does is force us to frame the presidential election in terms of red vs. blue states. If a Dem gets one more vote than a Rep, the state is blue. If a Rep gets one more vote than a Dem, the state is red. The end result is that voters who are members of a minority in their own state become invisible. They might as well not exist. 2.8 million Kerry votes in Texas? Irrelevant. Texas was written off as a red state before the election even started. 2.8 million Bush votes in California? Irrelevant. California was written off as a Blue state months ago.

This has a number of unhealthy effects on American politics. It encourages parties to game the system by focusing on "battleground" states. I'm willing to bet that it supresses Dem votes in red states and Rep votes in blue states. I suspect that the historical assignment of states to red/blue status becomes something of a self-fulfilling prophesy.

In a popular vote system, Dallas, the NC research traingle, the four corners region, the Mississippi valley, the Ohio valley, Gary, Denver and Los Vegas no longer are irrelevant areas to Democrats. Bigoted fuckwads can no longer get away with yelling about "the south" or "New England" as part of their political rhetoric, because it would be be glaringly obvious that you need every vote you can get.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 9:14 AM on November 10, 2004


As to the rest of this thread. I opened it and felt like sick to my stomach.

Like Sincerely,
Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells
posted by Armitage Shanks at 9:21 AM on November 10, 2004


The Founding Fathers were all from up North?

How many of our earliest presidents were from Virginia, about as conservative and southern a state as you will find.
posted by Postroad at 9:25 AM on November 10, 2004


How the fuckin' fuck is this not deleted yet?
posted by dhoyt at 9:28 AM on November 10, 2004


Oh good. Seth is here.

O frabjous day! Calloo callay!
posted by adamgreenfield at 9:31 AM on November 10, 2004


MetaFilter: Further polarizing the polity
posted by papercake at 9:34 AM on November 10, 2004


*cries* where's daddy haughey...?!
posted by t r a c y at 9:59 AM on November 10, 2004


Let's talk strategy here. Let's talk 2006.

I think it is quite possible for the Democrats to pull off a "contract with America" in 2006. It will be difficult, but it is possible.

They can't do it by writing off the South in a fit of spite.

They can do it by fighting hard in congressional races all over the United States, especially in "red state" urban centers.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 10:02 AM on November 10, 2004


« Older "You Can't Be Neutral on a Moving Train"   |   Sweaters Even Cosby Wouldn't Wear Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments