Lois isn't too nice, either.

November 14, 2004 10:14 AM

Superman is a dick. So is Batman.
posted by darukaru (29 comments total)

I'm adopting "Ride, Bat-hombre, Ride!" as my new battle cry.
posted by Stan Chin at 10:39 AM on November 14, 2004

"It's important that I spend the next 24 hours as a Black Woman"

Comedy Gold indeed.
posted by drezdn at 10:40 AM on November 14, 2004

Most of this material is from the Mort Weisinger era of comics, when "Uncle Mort" was the editor for all of the Superman comics. Weisinger's style was to create an interesting cover to hook the reader (say, The Atom trapped inside a "lethal lightbulb" while Dr Light prepares to throw the switch). The writers were left with the challenge to provide a story to justify the cover.

IIRC, Weisinger also had a rule that cover was especially good if it included gorillas, motorcycles, dinosaurs, spaceships or the hero crying.
posted by SPrintF at 10:46 AM on November 14, 2004

Aquaman vs. Jimmy Olsen made my day.
posted by Sangre Azul at 10:48 AM on November 14, 2004

But why is Superman destroying his father's day gift?
posted by rafter at 10:49 AM on November 14, 2004

Haha. And his secret family. Oh man, this is gold.
posted by rafter at 10:51 AM on November 14, 2004

IIRC, Weisinger also had a rule that cover was especially good if it included gorillas, motorcycles, dinosaurs, spaceships or the hero crying.

He also recycled stories after about two years, since he figured his audience was kids and that he'd have a completely fresh audience after that time. This explains why there are two issues with Jimmy Olsen, Gorilla Reporter.
posted by ursus_comiter at 11:02 AM on November 14, 2004

DC could make millions licensing these as t-shirts. I'd certainly buy the Titanman and Lois As A Black Woman shirts.

And SPrintF, I live my life by that rule. Just swap "cover" for "any 24-hour period."
posted by logovisual at 11:03 AM on November 14, 2004

MetaFilter: It's important that you live the next 14 hours as a black woman
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 11:49 AM on November 14, 2004

Oh, look at that. It is a 2.

MetaFilter: It's important that you live the next 24 hours as a black woman.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 11:50 AM on November 14, 2004

Jesus, it just gets better...

Ride, Bat-hombre, ride!
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 11:59 AM on November 14, 2004

God bless you, darukaru.
posted by kickingtheground at 12:02 PM on November 14, 2004

"I am curious (black)"! That's an odd reference for a kids' comic book.
posted by kenko at 1:19 PM on November 14, 2004

I whooped batman's ass.
posted by mcsweetie at 2:46 PM on November 14, 2004

I actually had some of these when I was a kid - they turned up in batches of random American comics I was given - and I read them because, well, because they were American comics and I was a kid. Sadly, I think the covers are probably the best bit. Although there was one issue of Supergirl where Supergirl's boyfriend turns out to be a woman in disguise, but it's OK, she can tell because s/he doesn't kiss like a man - she puts her arms round Supergirl's neck rather than her waist.

Well, yes.
posted by Grangousier at 4:20 PM on November 14, 2004

This Super-Wedding is real!
The marriage is not a hoax!
The bride and groom are not robots!
This romance is not a dream

How many couples can say that, eh?
posted by Grangousier at 4:23 PM on November 14, 2004

Iron Man is a jerk.
posted by poseur at 4:27 PM on November 14, 2004

"Great Krypton! Jimmy has started a Beatle craze here in the ancient past. He's become as popular as Ringo!"

This is very, very good. Many thanks, darukaru.
posted by Johnny Assay at 7:15 PM on November 14, 2004

that one guy has a hot girlfriend
posted by Satapher at 7:26 PM on November 14, 2004

Totally awesome. I would buy comics released today with covers like those.
posted by Joey Michaels at 7:54 PM on November 14, 2004

My face hurts from laughing so hard. This is glorious.
posted by Hypharse at 7:59 PM on November 14, 2004

Mind-numbingly funny
posted by Pretty_Generic at 9:26 PM on November 14, 2004

Poor Lois! When the blade shatters on my invulnerable neck, the shock may destroy her mind for good!
posted by Pretty_Generic at 9:31 PM on November 14, 2004

Lois -- you must give up that Indian papoose NOW -- for your OWN SAFETY!
posted by Pretty_Generic at 9:35 PM on November 14, 2004

Can someone explain why they bothered drawing a new comic with the same plot as the old one? Why not just renumber the old comic?
posted by Pretty_Generic at 9:44 PM on November 14, 2004

that one guy has a hot girlfriend

That's not his girlfriend. That's a photo-op at a comic-con.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 10:00 PM on November 14, 2004

I'll tell you why I'll never marry you, Lana, or you, Lois! Who wants a wife so stupid she doesn't realize I'm Superman when I take off my Clark Kent glasses?

I was glad to see that they had addressed this. (In case you early adopters are back, there are more covers now.)
posted by soyjoy at 9:28 AM on November 15, 2004

:that one guy has a hot girlfriend

That's not his girlfriend. That's a photo-op at a comic-con.

Even better, that's not his girlfriend, it's a pornstar.
posted by djspicerack at 10:44 AM on November 15, 2004

"Even better, that's not his girlfriend, it's a pornstar"

Oh my gosh! (NSFW) You're right!

And look! Here she is with some other dude! Man, that girl gets around.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 6:41 AM on November 16, 2004