... to die by your side...
January 10, 2005 6:00 PM   Subscribe

The mighty folks at Monkeyfilter seem to be missing the fact that this is a blatant parody, and a pretty funny one at that.
posted by Simon! at 6:15 PM on January 10, 2005

OMG! I downloaded "You Are the Quarry" from iTunes last night.

Clearly I'm being hunted by vegan aliens who also killed Diana.
posted by felix betachat at 6:23 PM on January 10, 2005

[this is good]
posted by fatbobsmith at 6:27 PM on January 10, 2005

Moz does it again!
posted by crank at 6:28 PM on January 10, 2005

Why did I feel compelled to read the entire thing? (including the world won't listen?)
posted by grimley at 6:32 PM on January 10, 2005

In 1987, this very same song - THERE IS A LIGHT THAT NEVER GOES OUT from THE QUEEN IS DEAD -
became the 'A'-side of the only Smiths single ('B'-side: HALF A PERSON) in the lifetime of the band to be
released exclusively in France.
Princess Diana died in France.

Pretty conclusive evidence. Something like that can't possibly be coincidental.
posted by interrobang at 6:33 PM on January 10, 2005

[I love stuff like this. Thanks.]
posted by interrobang at 6:34 PM on January 10, 2005

The evidence is overwhelming, especially if you consider that the first draft of The Smiths' song "Girlfriend In A Coma" was originally entitled "Princess Diana In A Coma."

Princess Diana In A Coma
And I Know, I Know
It's Serious

OMG!!! How did he know?!?
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 7:24 PM on January 10, 2005

John Foxx predicts...
Nah, forget it.
posted by davebush at 7:29 PM on January 10, 2005

posted by davebush at 7:30 PM on January 10, 2005

One is almost speechless to note:

That site was concocted by one David Alice.

Diana's companion that terrible night was her "lover," Dodi Fayed.

What sort of men are named Alice and Dodi?

The cryptohomophilosexual undertones of Morrissey's lyrics need hardly be mentioned at this juncture. Clearly, the poor Princess was in way over her head, so to speak.
posted by digaman at 7:51 PM on January 10, 2005

It left out that both Morrissey and Princess Diana were vegetarians. Clearly this is proof that Morrissey could foresee her death.
posted by whoshotwho at 8:01 PM on January 10, 2005

Furthermore -

"What she said:
'How come someone hasn't noticed
that I'm dead
and decided to bury me
God knows, I'm ready'"

posted by flashboy at 8:06 PM on January 10, 2005

pure unadulterated geeeeeennnnniiiiuuusss!!!
posted by lucksmonday at 8:16 PM on January 10, 2005

It was dark as I drove the point home
And on cold leather seats
Well, it suddenly struck me
I just might die with a smile on my
Face after all

For God's sake, somebody call Scotland Yard!
posted by digaman at 8:18 PM on January 10, 2005

It's so obvious now. Morrissey was in the Smiths named after Adam Smith, creator of the "Invisible Hand" theory in economics, which leads us to the "Invisibles" created by Grant Morrison who was listening to "Candle In the Wind" while pleasuring himself in March 1987. "Candle In the Wind" was performed by Elton John. There are 9 letters in Elton John's name. Subtract 2 from that and you get Lincoln, a seminal album by They Might Be Giants, who directed the first Soul Coughing video. Cameras steal your "soul's cough," so it's incredibly apparent that we were warned before hand. Poor Princess Di, her death seems like such a waste now.
posted by drezdn at 8:30 PM on January 10, 2005

CONTACT was released in the summer of Princess Diana's death.

(See PART 1 - Diana's Death Foretold in the Work of Morrissey for a later instance
where DIANA DORS was used to represent Princess Diana in the work of Morrissey).

the only other cover that we see is the front of the novel
MOBY DICK, written by Herman Melville. . . .

Herman Melville, the author of MOBY DICK, was born on
August 1st.
In CONTACT, the "contact" between Earth and the E.T. Vegans all begins on
August 1st,
(the date of Hitler's opening address to the Berlin Olympics).

Fantastic stuff.

Simon!, are you sure this is a parody? It's a pretty good one if so, I was taking it seriously the whole way through (or more fool me, I guess).
posted by Infinite Jest at 9:00 PM on January 10, 2005

I can't help reading parody into every web page I see these days.
Are the crackpots still out there, or are parody sites now part of a massive government coverup?

posted by metaculpa at 10:15 PM on January 10, 2005

The website is real; Diana's death, however, was a parody. Morrissey was a spoof up until the recording of "That Joke Isn't Funny Any More", at which point he became actual. At around the same time, both Johnny Marr and Dodi al-Fayed gradually shifted into a more magical realist conception of being-as-dream, although Mike Joyce always remained little more than an homage.

This comment is absolutely true except for the punctuation, which is a pastiche. It should be noted that I, on the other hand, am fake. I hope this clears matters up.
posted by flashboy at 11:16 PM on January 10, 2005

flashboy wins.
posted by the_bone at 11:53 PM on January 10, 2005

Mother Theresa died on the eve of Diana's burial:
"Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head".

Mother Theresa was "bigger than" all other "mothers".
On the eve of the biggest girl's funeral, the biggest mother died.

Case closed.........
posted by kenaman at 1:26 AM on January 11, 2005

The website is real; Diana's death, however, was a parody.

Will you marry me?
posted by Infinite Jest at 1:52 AM on January 11, 2005

7th song on THE QUEEN IS DEAD:

This song concerns revelations that go far beyond the death of Princess Diana.
It will therefore be discussed in an upcoming installment of

Are you on the edge of your seat too?
posted by SisterHavana at 7:27 AM on January 11, 2005

« Older Son of Bees or Bees Knees?   |   Victorian Robots and other Mechanical Men Newer »

This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments