The 50 Most Loathsome People of 2004
January 20, 2005 5:37 PM   Subscribe

The 50 Most Loathsome People of 2004 Funnier than The NYP 50 Most Loathsome New Yorkers. And you're in it, to boot.
posted by Space Coyote (41 comments total)
Glad to see George W. Bush, John Kerry, and I all made the list.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 6:19 PM on January 20, 2005

No Michael Moore?
posted by Krrrlson at 6:23 PM on January 20, 2005

awesome... very funny.
posted by willns at 6:28 PM on January 20, 2005

"You cheer as Ukrainians challenge an election based on exit poll data, but keep waiting around for someone else to fix your problems. You can’t think, you can’t organize and you won’t act. This is all your fault."

Good stuff!
posted by jperkins at 6:40 PM on January 20, 2005

4. Dick Cheney
. . . The kind of guy who starts talking cannibalism the minute he steps on the lifeboat.

Hee hee hee.
posted by kyrademon at 6:40 PM on January 20, 2005

Ronald Reagan -- Punishment: Reanimated and killed again.

George W. Bush -- Crimes: Too numerous to mention. The worst piece of shit ever to run this country, including King George III;

Dick Cheney -- Crimes: [...] The kind of guy who starts talking cannibalism the minute he steps on the lifeboat.

You -- Punishment: You're soaking in it.

This is so spot-on. Thanks, SC!
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 6:41 PM on January 20, 2005

This is funny.
The part about me? Not so funny and patently untrue, I read In Style, not People, and I don't care what Julia wears to the Oscars, I am SO over her!
posted by nanu at 6:41 PM on January 20, 2005

Actually, I'm in there twice.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 7:03 PM on January 20, 2005

PG, please tell me you didn't hold a "Last Episode of Friends" party.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 7:22 PM on January 20, 2005

Shit, he's Clarence Thomas!
posted by Tikirific at 7:22 PM on January 20, 2005

"Jessica Simpson: The gleaming flagship of the triumphant return of bimboism. The aesthetic equivalent of vitamin D milk."

posted by deafmute at 7:32 PM on January 20, 2005

the link seems to be not responding. here's a google cache.
posted by moonbird at 7:34 PM on January 20, 2005

don't go to the link i just posted: that's for 2002 for some odd reason. i'll try again.
posted by moonbird at 7:37 PM on January 20, 2005

Yeah, that was really damn funny. I especially liked the bit about CSI. And Tom Cruise. God I hate that bastard. My list would've included Tom Hanks, and certainly Michael Moore somewhere in the bottom half, but this was pretty damn good.
posted by logovisual at 7:38 PM on January 20, 2005

Y'know, I have no love for most of the people on this list, but I have a sneaking suspicion that the people who made this list would be equally tedious company.
posted by jonmc at 7:38 PM on January 20, 2005

Halle Berry was in Die Another Day, not Tomorrow Never Dies!

{Keels over in shame.}

I'd forgotten how good Spy magazine was. This was almost as good. "Mongoloid children"?! Just wait for Jonah Goldberg to get ahold of this.
posted by dhartung at 7:39 PM on January 20, 2005

I did click on that Google cache link, Moonbird. The shameful thing is I didn't even notice the list was from 2002 until I saw John Ritter in it.
posted by iJames at 7:44 PM on January 20, 2005

30. 26. 21. 15. 5.
The fifth line of 3.
God, they're good.

Don't forget, the Buffalo Beast is done by at least one of the folks responsible for creating The Exile, an amazing alternative paper in Moscow.
posted by mediareport at 7:49 PM on January 20, 2005

Entertaining, although I'd much rather kick it with the 50 most loathsome New Yorkers.

How many of those hated people are probably also the most boring...
posted by AMWKE at 7:53 PM on January 20, 2005

Gee, I'm not in there even once.

::feels so... not hated::
posted by kamylyon at 7:59 PM on January 20, 2005

the apotheosis of the insult. regardless the object of scorn there are some great lines in there. i'll never watch breakfast at tiffany's again without thinking of jenna jamieson.
posted by lucksmonday at 8:44 PM on January 20, 2005

Loved loved loved this.
posted by CunningLinguist at 8:59 PM on January 20, 2005

The best list I've ever seen. Except for the inclusion of John McCain (even though what is said about McCain is technically correct, gotta give him a pass for being a POW and getting tortured for 4 years....come on now!) I agree with all of them.

J Kerry: Couldn't get elected against the most hated president ever because he couldn't portray himself as human.......CLASSIC!

/it's funny 'cause it's true
posted by Rastafari at 9:09 PM on January 20, 2005

Punishment: Impaled on improperly installed American flag attached to tractor-trailer, dragged for 12 hours, eaten by wolves.

Too funny!
posted by rdone at 9:16 PM on January 20, 2005

You think you're an activist because you bitch on the Internet all day

posted by orange swan at 9:22 PM on January 20, 2005

I sense Matt Taibbi's knife at work here.

I'm glad Colin Quinn is on the list. There was always a mad scramble in my house after the Daily Show to turn the channel in order to avoid hearing him say a single fucking word. That man was like the Family Circle of Comedy Central, and that's the channel which gave Mad TV another life. Yeesh.

Gigli was the cinematic equivalent of the Madrid bombings.

Moo hoo ha ha!
posted by Coda at 9:29 PM on January 20, 2005

Didn't anyone else think that was excessively cruel? It could have been clever, but it just came out predictable and insulting.

Dur, Halle Berry is stupid. Let's gang rape her! Nyuk. All of my readers are stupid assholes! Slobber.

Anyway, Gigli came out in 2003. Let's get over it already.
posted by thirteenkiller at 10:09 PM on January 20, 2005

Yeah, what a lazy ass I am for complaining about things on the internet. Not like these guys, whose internet complaining is really making policy-makers sit up and take notice. How insightful their condemnation of Anna Nicole Smith is!
posted by Hildago at 10:14 PM on January 20, 2005

I liked that a lot.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 12:05 AM on January 21, 2005

Except for the inclusion of John McCain...

Oh, please. They nailed that principle-less jerk perfectly.
posted by mediareport at 12:52 AM on January 21, 2005

Didn't like it, but I rarely hate these sort of "clever" hatefests.

Also, I would like to point out that as far as hollywood types go, Tom Cruise is far more consistent in the work he produces than almost anyone, and he makes some pretty cool movies (Magnolia, for starters). I could care less who he's fucking, and I sincerely doubt he's fucking a lot of other movie stars who don't want to be fucking him.

Ok, that was a waste of time (responding). Like usual, though, this list is littered with easy targets and lame attacks.
posted by The God Complex at 3:39 AM on January 21, 2005

TGC they didn't even bring up the best reason to hate Tom Cruise of all: Scientology.

Funny, although like kamy I am nowhere on that list.
posted by Ryvar at 5:57 AM on January 21, 2005

TGC: yeah. But it's littered with great one-liners.
posted by Tlogmer at 6:19 AM on January 21, 2005

The first best-selling author who could be sodomized with a well-thrown baseball since Truman Capote.

Oh, come on, admit it, you laughed.
posted by Simon! at 8:28 AM on January 21, 2005

Colin Quinn

The Peter Lawford of his generation.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 8:39 AM on January 21, 2005

I hate these kind of lists, but this was pretty awesome.

thirteenkiller- Please, come out of your dark, depressing cave. It's sunny out and there are people out here who have been known, on occasion, to smile.

TGC- I prefer to think of Magnolia as good in spite of Tom Cruise.
posted by mkultra at 10:29 AM on January 21, 2005

Dick Cheney: So visibly evil that all of the documented evidence against him is superfluous.

Donal Rumsfeld: So rife with corruption and fascist desire he makes dirt look clean.

That's poetry, not prose.

I also fully agree that McCain deserves to be on this list.
posted by mcstayinskool at 3:08 PM on January 21, 2005

funny, and spot on. extra props for calling out negroponte as the fucking scumbag that he is.
posted by jcruelty at 3:32 PM on January 21, 2005

Taibbi definitely was all over this.

Notice he writes for both papers.
posted by clubfoote at 4:09 PM on January 21, 2005

mkultra - I don't live in a cave, I just thought this was stupid and mean.
posted by thirteenkiller at 8:26 PM on January 21, 2005

It was very, very clever and mean, which is, perhaps what disturbs me most about people.
posted by ParisParamus at 9:41 PM on January 21, 2005

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