Deals to die for!
February 3, 2005 2:49 PM   Subscribe

For you or someone you know! Death can be costly, but $924.99 for the "Lady of Guadalupe" is a bargain.
posted by dum2007 (19 comments total)
And I just noticed:

"Additionally, Acts of God, weather-related conditions, and states of emergencies can delay delivery beyond the stated delivery parameters."
posted by dum2007 at 3:03 PM on February 3, 2005

Some may laugh, but my mother would have loved it. Sadly, I'm left trying to find the perfect outdoor Our Lady statue instead.
posted by Juicylicious at 3:11 PM on February 3, 2005

From pre-natal to post mortem, Costco has you covered. I wonder if Walmart has plans in the works for the " Intimidator Model" for all the Nascar fans.
posted by lobstah at 3:18 PM on February 3, 2005

This is great! My favorite part:


What are they getting at with "other evidence"?
posted by sninky-chan at 3:25 PM on February 3, 2005

It's cheaper to die than to live forever. You know, in the long run.
posted by ColdChef at 3:32 PM on February 3, 2005

This casket is a regular on Six Feet Under. Best. Show. Ever.
posted by bikergirl at 3:37 PM on February 3, 2005

Why would anyone want "remains" to be preserved? Would anyone want to be exhumed at a later date and then...then what? Reading about the Ted Williams' debacle suggests the necessity of an air tight will mandating the preferred method of disposal.
posted by Cranberry at 3:49 PM on February 3, 2005

That's one of David Fischer's favorites!
posted by drezdn at 6:23 PM on February 3, 2005

What are they getting at with "other evidence"? wondered that myself

I'd be pissed if anyone in my family spent $5,000 on a casket...that would pay off someone's car! I like the idea of the natural burial forest for myself but I don't think I could bear the thought of animals eating a family member or friend.

You can bet that i'll haunt anyone who thinks to embalm me so I guess cremation is the answer.
posted by nanu at 6:25 PM on February 3, 2005

Oh yeah- to bikergirl- Right On!
posted by nanu at 6:26 PM on February 3, 2005

I'm also morbidly interested in a 'natural' burial. The whole death-scam thing stinks.

It just doesn't make any sense to me at all. Let's see here, you're going to fill me full of toxic chemicals and preservatives, dress me up in better clothes than I ever wore in real life, and then you're going to stuff me in an ornate box that costs more than the used car my GF and I have, and then you're going to bury me far below the topsoil layer in the ground and put a plaque or stone over it? What, so I can decompose very, very slowly and eventually leak all these toxic chemicals into the water table?

Remind me again, exactly what part of this morbid process celebrates life?

Listen, just throw me to the wolves, will you? Do it before my meat goes rancid. Bury me in a shallow grave, unpreserved, and plant a tree over me. Whoever wants to visit my lifeless corpse can come visit the tree made out of me. Hell, grind me up and feed me to the stray cats.

Something. Anything. Just don't let the organic matter of my body go to waste and worse. Don't make me a toxic waste site.

I was under the understanding that in most places in the US, or at least California, that it's illegal to do natural, unpreserved burials. Nice choices, cremation, or embalming. WTF? Are we Egyptians or something? Are we hoping that there will be some sort of future recovery and reanimation process that happens post-embalming? Do Christian folk believe that they'll rise from the dead in whatever zombie-like state they're currently in or something?

I really, really don't understand. It just seems so ridiculously pointless. I understand wanting to remember, and I understand wanting to show respect for the dead and all that, but why the vault-like tombs and caskets, the chemical embalming and all that?

I would love to be corrected on the legality of natural burial in the United States. It would comfort me greatly to know that my matter went back into the Earth unsullied and edible for all those hungry earthworms and such.

Then again, they might turn their snooty little mouthparts up at my thoroughly pickled liver.
posted by loquacious at 6:50 PM on February 3, 2005

I hope everyone who has expressed a strong opinion about what happens after they die has made out their will. I have, and after the organ harvesters get done, I'll be cremated and some of my ashes will be left in Grenough Park.

I was all for being put on a scaffold and having my earthly essence reunited with the sky, but my neighbors objected.
posted by faceonmars at 8:17 PM on February 3, 2005

Odinstream: Here.
posted by mudpuppie at 8:44 PM on February 3, 2005

(sorry. odinsdream.)
posted by mudpuppie at 8:45 PM on February 3, 2005

Just visualize what these lovely caskets look like after six months of occupancy. Mmm!
posted by ori at 8:50 PM on February 3, 2005

From mudpuppie's SFGate article:

"It will be a nature preserve that happens to sell interment rights," Sehee said. "The concept is to sell interment rights on 5 percent of the land and use the endowment from that 5 percent to preserve the rest as open space. In essence, we will use existing cemetery law to conserve land and protect it in perpetuity with a conservation easement."

That's absolutely brilliant.
posted by loquacious at 8:53 PM on February 3, 2005

Do Christian folk believe that they'll rise from the dead in whatever zombie-like state they're currently in or something?

“Do not be amazed at this, for a time is coming when all who are in their graves will hear his voice and come out—those who have done good will rise to live, and those who have done evil will rise to be condemned” (John 5:28-29).

So, um, yeah, I guess they do believe that.
posted by Optamystic at 3:25 AM on February 4, 2005


The unpublicized aspect of a sealed casket is when the bacterial beasties get to work and gas builds up inside the box. Sometimes so much that the box explodes, blowing out the fancy marble plug on the mausoleum wall and dousing Aunt Ethel with noxius goo and body parts as she pays her resects to Uncle Irving.

Cleanup on aisle six...
posted by Enron Hubbard at 3:54 AM on February 4, 2005

It appears that natural burial is an idea whose time has come. Green graveyards are springing up in places other than hip Marin County. It also seems that environmentally friendly funerals have been practiced in England and elsewhere at least since 1991.
posted by MotherTucker at 9:40 AM on February 4, 2005

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