ESLMadness
February 4, 2005 7:12 AM   Subscribe

My wife is weeping with delight over my hardness and enlargement "Let's make the bed right away". "Rumble, clickity-clack. All aboard".
posted by srboisvert (21 comments total)
 
Comedy genius!
posted by Pretty_Generic at 7:22 AM on February 4, 2005


At last a phrasebook with some relevance. Because seriously, when did you ever need to order 3 smoked kippers for breakfast before equiring directions to the nearest house of worship? Heh.
posted by Thoth at 7:30 AM on February 4, 2005


The author/discoverer is a friend of mine, and I host his website. I'm constantly stunned by the amazing crap he finds over there. Beats engrish.com by a mile, although they have some great things too.
posted by sninky-chan at 7:37 AM on February 4, 2005


Touch it.
Put your hand on it. Rub it. Stroke it.
Is it moist?
Is it damp? / Is it dampish?
Is it viscous?

posted by found missing at 7:47 AM on February 4, 2005


It's toothsome, isn't it?
posted by Dr. Wu at 8:10 AM on February 4, 2005


I thought this was going to be about Bob, the guy who's Living Large with his happy partner now that he's gotten a little Natural Male Enhancement®. Happily, I was wrong, because I hate that guy, and his stupid wife, and his newly-enlarged whatever.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 8:30 AM on February 4, 2005


At last - phrases that can be used as cheesy pick-up lines that might actually be so obscure and off the wall hilarious that they work.
posted by Kitschycat at 8:30 AM on February 4, 2005


The Tokyo Damage Report rules. I'm glad to see this post is faring better than my own attempt to get it some front page lovin'.
posted by kenko at 8:40 AM on February 4, 2005


That was the classiest double post callout ever.

It's so different it's hard to believe you're both human males.
posted by found missing at 8:52 AM on February 4, 2005


"If you're thinking of breaking up, you should do right by me."
"What do you mean?"
"I want separation money. For three years I gave you something to live for, so think of it as a living tax, or as a farewell present and an expression of good luck."


Wow. These people really will be learning to speak English like Americans.
posted by ChrisTN at 9:00 AM on February 4, 2005


Not a callout—these pages are new.
posted by kenko at 9:39 AM on February 4, 2005


The Tokyo Damage Report rules. I'm glad to see this post is faring better than my own attempt to get it some front page lovin'.

Kenko - lately i have noticed that the more true to the metafilter goal a post is the fewer comments it will get. Thus your post was probably better.
posted by srboisvert at 10:20 AM on February 4, 2005


Weird etymology on page 16, where "viscous" apparently relates to French slang and the Viet Cong.

Viscous -> betobeto + con where "con" is allegedly French slang for "asoko" ("down there") -> betocon (= "Viet Cong"). This makes for charming pillow talk. Maybe someone smarter can elaborate?
posted by kurumi at 10:41 AM on February 4, 2005


No, my post was about Schultz's dictionary of japanese pornography terms, and people found it racist.
posted by kenko at 11:04 AM on February 4, 2005


Um, this is another example of that 'satire' stuff, ain't it?

By the way, would somebody explain why anybody would want to increase the volume of his ejaculate? I know this has very little to do with this thread, but this article reminded me of that email spam I keep getting. Who'd be impressed by how much a guy can squirt?
posted by davy at 11:45 AM on February 4, 2005


I can't for the life of me figure out what is going on here, but maybe it's because I'm laughing too hard. Brilliant post, thanks.
posted by jokeefe at 2:06 PM on February 4, 2005


im constantly talking about octopus and purse string pussies - isnt it weird that it takes another culture to point out things that just seem so natural to you?
posted by klik99 at 4:03 PM on February 4, 2005


The small black lettering at the top of the cover, if you are interested, is actually "Let's translate porno novels!", not "porno smallbook speaking, let's go!", as the web page lists. The big yellow characters read "Adult English", the publisher seems to be one "Companion Publishing"
posted by aquitone at 10:21 PM on February 4, 2005


Now that's romatic!
posted by of strange foe at 8:09 AM on February 5, 2005


Ugh, next time I'll let the romantically unchallenged cast the first stone.
posted by of strange foe at 8:21 AM on February 5, 2005


I will not buy this record, it is scratched
posted by kcds at 6:17 PM on February 6, 2005


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