Makes Keanu look like Olivier

February 20, 2005 7:10 PM

Straight outta Belgium, it's "The Matrix: The Beginning". This is a see-it-to-believe-it occasion. [20m WMV; Trailer for those with a lower tolerance for this sort of nonsense; Main site]
posted by Pretty_Generic (39 comments total)

Make sure you at least see 10m35.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 7:11 PM on February 20, 2005

I officially hate Belgium
posted by TetrisKid at 7:21 PM on February 20, 2005

KILL IT. KILL IT WITH FIRE.
posted by Josh Zhixel at 7:29 PM on February 20, 2005

"Who says I vas runnink avay?"
posted by grimcity at 7:34 PM on February 20, 2005

13:55
posted by andrew cooke at 7:40 PM on February 20, 2005

abstract for those of us on dial-up?
posted by ori at 7:41 PM on February 20, 2005

Belgian people attempt to make The Matrix prequel. Success. Horror. The end.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 7:43 PM on February 20, 2005

The fight scenes sure do make me think stuntmen deserve Oscars. But 'yay' for effort. Effort always gets a 'yay.'
posted by mediareport at 7:46 PM on February 20, 2005

Wow.
That was...

Well you know what? Apart from the special effects, not that much worse than Reloaded and Revolutions.
posted by papakwanz at 7:51 PM on February 20, 2005

(the "main site" link includes info for those on dial up, including script and photos)
posted by andrew cooke at 7:54 PM on February 20, 2005

silly rabbit, matrix is for kids
posted by obeygiant at 8:27 PM on February 20, 2005

Come on people; payless has dress shoes for $5! Buy a pair, spend the afternoon filming your fanfic, and then return them for a full refund. The alternative is getting closeup shots of agents walking menacingly in suits with stupid looking sneakers on.
posted by nomad at 8:30 PM on February 20, 2005

By "this sort of nonsense" do you mean Windows Media? "Buffering..."
posted by fungible at 8:42 PM on February 20, 2005

I feel sad but hopeful for mankind.
posted by nixerman at 8:50 PM on February 20, 2005

Slow mo bullets! Makes for a boring fire fight.
posted by tomplus2 at 8:50 PM on February 20, 2005

Cripes, I can't believe I watched it all. Makes me wonder, did they?
posted by tomplus2 at 8:59 PM on February 20, 2005

Ow, my head! That was terrible. So so terrible.
posted by thebabelfish at 9:24 PM on February 20, 2005

Why did you have to post this?

This is so bad it makes me want to kick puppies. But of course I had to watch the whole thing to see if it was a big joke or if these people were serious. Wow. I've seen another matrix fanfilm somewhere and while it wasn't "good" at least it looked like the kids who made it put in some legitimate effort.

This... this makes me want to cry.
posted by twiggy at 9:27 PM on February 20, 2005

I want my 20 minutes back. Outtakes?!
posted by intermod at 9:27 PM on February 20, 2005

I just had a thought. Um... how do all the people in the robot-enslaved-battery-pods have kids? Do the machines have some kind of jizz-relocation plumbing apparatus?

Kill me now.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 9:53 PM on February 20, 2005

Wow, what, um, choreography. What they should have done was to speed it up slightly, convert it to b&w, remove the sound, and insert some old-timey piano music. Then it'd be a perfect "first matrix" ala a silent movie. Even the dialogue placards write themselves as per grimcity's comment.
posted by Sangre Azul at 10:08 PM on February 20, 2005

I have to give them some credit. It's probably better than 99% of the movies that three high school kids could produce. Plus, the accents were pretty funny.
posted by borkingchikapa at 11:28 PM on February 20, 2005

Metafilter: Jizz-relocating plumbing apparatus.
posted by Uncle Ira at 1:07 AM on February 21, 2005

Most fan films are a waste time and energy, like the losers who audition for American Idol who have grande illusions about themselves. This is pathetic. The slow-motion fighting looks silly. It would be better to take a couple of guys with some martial arts training, put then in black suits and shades and let them go at it on the top of a building during a thunderstorm.
posted by disgruntled at 6:33 AM on February 21, 2005

omg disgruntled that would be just so much better.
posted by andrew cooke at 7:01 AM on February 21, 2005

People still care about The Matrix?
posted by Robot Johnny at 7:52 AM on February 21, 2005

Oh, come on. If any of you can do any better, please post your efforts. Yes, the acting was wooden, and the dialog was lame, but, wow, the bullet-time effects and the faux rotoscoping were 90% as good as the "real thing" for, what, 0.01% of the budget?

I'm serious - for a zero-budget amateur effort, I thought it was damn good. Oh yeah, and A+ for effort.
posted by kcds at 8:14 AM on February 21, 2005

I'm surprised nobody's compared this to the Fanimatrix yet.
posted by neckro23 at 8:16 AM on February 21, 2005

he is really the one
posted by sswiller at 9:20 AM on February 21, 2005

I think I used to own a BB gun just like that...
posted by mervin_shnegwood at 10:17 AM on February 21, 2005

Uh, most of the bullet time effects were accomplished by them moving around slowly, heh.
posted by abcde at 10:22 AM on February 21, 2005

No, neo-cow is really the ONE.

http://www.keanuvision.com/archives/001393.html
posted by disgruntled at 10:40 AM on February 21, 2005

I thought the effects were pretty good.
posted by bingo at 11:48 AM on February 21, 2005

this made me flaccid
posted by superchicken at 12:54 PM on February 21, 2005

The horror.

I kept watching only to get up to P_G's recommended 10:35 and it froze right about the 10 minute mark. I actually shouted "no!"

This is bad (fanfic allowances and all). Not to mention a complete rip-off of Terminator.
posted by papercake at 1:34 PM on February 21, 2005

Good effort, it just seemed like so much was much more derivative than it had to be. The agent firing, missing, then tossing his gun away was nearly a frame-by-frame recreation of the same seen The Matrix. What's the point of making a separate entity if you can't even expand on what little material was there in the first place?

Fan-created materials should flesh out existing stories with things fans themselves are curious about. Like what was done with this one.

*looks uncomfortable now*
posted by dougunderscorenelso at 2:36 PM on February 21, 2005

OMG. I did laugh loudly at 13:55, though.

I like how the guns shoot bullets plus casings. You can see the primer pad (but curiously lacking a pin punchmark).

Wooden doesn't even begin to describe their acting. I've a little more respect for the talents of actors now; most of them make it seem eversonatural. Quite the opposite of these guys.

Hoo.

still, it's better than any film I've ever been in...
posted by five fresh fish at 5:50 PM on February 21, 2005

Ooooohhhh... My stomach...
posted by cr_joe at 6:26 PM on February 21, 2005

Your kung fu is not strong.

...or even mildly abrasive.
posted by Spacey at 6:26 AM on February 22, 2005