Jump! Jump!

February 27, 2005 10:07 AM

World Jump Day. Help fix global warming the easy way: get 600 million people to jump at the same time, and shift the earth's orbit. [Warning: somewhat irritating Flash interface.]
posted by DrJohnEvans (29 comments total)

Assuming that this really is possible, wouldn't it most likely create many more problems than it would solve?
posted by spaghetti at 10:14 AM on February 27, 2005

Yeah, changing the earths's orbit...bad idea.

If a bunch of idiots send us flying into oblivion, I will be disgusted.
posted by AMWKE at 10:18 AM on February 27, 2005

Puh-leaze, you don't actually believe this to be possible, do you?
posted by Berend at 10:19 AM on February 27, 2005

Shouldn't each person living in a costal city just dump a tray of ice cubes into the ocean? Wouldn't that work just about as well?

worldicecubedumpday.com

Or:

worldleavethefridgedooropenday.com

?
posted by chasing at 10:20 AM on February 27, 2005

I intend to be making love at 11.39.13 on 20 July 2006.
Just on the off chance.
posted by Wolfdog at 10:21 AM on February 27, 2005

Conservation of momentum, conservation of energy, et cetera. Nothing to see here, move along.
posted by intermod at 10:53 AM on February 27, 2005

Cecil Adams sheds a tear.

Even after twenty+ years (that column is from 1984, for chrissakes) of trying to bring enlightenment to the Teeming Millions, there is obviously still just as much stupidity in the world. Pity, really.
posted by yhbc at 10:53 AM on February 27, 2005

Earth's mass is about 200 trillion times as big as the mass of 600 million people.
posted by lazy-ville at 10:54 AM on February 27, 2005

Hmm.. yet another way to destroy the Earth.
posted by c13 at 11:00 AM on February 27, 2005

No wait, only one hundred trillion times as big. Or something. I'm not sure anymore.
posted by lazy-ville at 11:04 AM on February 27, 2005

Are there really 600 million idiots with an internet access?

Lazy-ville, (mass of the Earth, kg)5.9736^24/(600M people, 100kg average weight [about])6^10=9.956^13 times.
That's about 100000000000000 times greater.
posted by c13 at 11:21 AM on February 27, 2005

i'm with chasing. : >

also, haven't they forgotten the earth is round? shouldn't it just be people on one side of the world jumping?
posted by amberglow at 11:22 AM on February 27, 2005

oops--never mind. funny idea tho.
posted by amberglow at 11:23 AM on February 27, 2005

And then, once we've moved the earth a bit, we can Stop the Spin.
posted by dmd at 11:56 AM on February 27, 2005

Why not just seclude all the robots in the world on an island and instruct them to simultaneously vent their exhaust chambers?
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 11:59 AM on February 27, 2005

I'd prefer we go to Halley's Comet and get ice : >
posted by amberglow at 12:01 PM on February 27, 2005

If we all pee in the ocean at the same time, will the temperature increase cause a hurricane?
posted by 2sheets at 12:09 PM on February 27, 2005

A few years ago we calculated how long it would take to slow the spin of the earth if we had a small array of Space Shuttle type launch rockets anchored to the ground, pointed eastward, and running for a year. The effect was almost nil.
posted by rolypolyman at 12:14 PM on February 27, 2005

I'd like to see more World [Blank] Days in general...

World Kick a Monkey Day
World Muffin Day
World Drink Yourself Dumb Day
posted by chasing at 12:37 PM on February 27, 2005

I intend to be making love at 11.39.13 on 20 July 2006.

I think that Wolddog has the right idea. On the day in question I will be at his door in my sheerest nightie with a bottle of fine Mad Dog.

{I'm thinking a fine 98 vintage}
posted by berek at 2:18 PM on February 27, 2005

Didn't rtft, didya?
posted by yhbc at 3:46 PM on February 27, 2005

A million schoolchildren jumping all at once for a minute did generate a detectable result, far less than an earthquake. 600 times that, highly concentrated, would maybe be an Earthquake.
posted by abcde at 5:03 PM on February 27, 2005

Maybe they should try butterflies. If one can cause a hurricane then surely a few dozen should have some impact on the earth's orbit. The tricky part will be teaching them to jump.
posted by missbossy at 5:19 PM on February 27, 2005

missbossy wins. Close the thread, please.
posted by DrJohnEvans at 5:25 PM on February 27, 2005

Ah, but the real question is this: Were the earth's orbit of the sun to suddenly stop, how long would it take us to all die of nuclear incineration? Bonus points for effective use of trigonometric integrals.
posted by kaibutsu at 1:43 AM on February 28, 2005

Intermod mentioned "Conservation of momentum, conservation of energy, et cetera" and got me thinking. (The ink on my engineering degree has certainly faded over 20 years of non-use, so this might be way off.) Wouldn't 600,000,000 people pushing off the surface, along with their subsequent landing, cause a (relatively small) net force? By launching themselves into the air, aren't they introducing a force on themselves and an equal and opposite one on the planet? Maybe the people exert a gravitational force on the earth equal to the gravitational force on them by the earth? Thereby reducing the pushing-off force? Too much thinking. Head hurts. Must lie down.
posted by booth at 8:58 AM on February 28, 2005

Whether you're jumping or not, the gravitational force you exert on the Earth is the same as the gravitational force it exerts on you. F = G*m1*m2/r^2. It doesn't matter which mass you label m1 and which you label m2. The gravitational force two objects exert on each other is always equal.

But the Earth is much, much bigger than you are, so the same force accelerates you much, much more than it does it.
posted by Zed_Lopez at 2:34 PM on February 28, 2005

This is some sort of "web art" project I think. The source suggests a connection to this art group.
posted by talos at 7:30 AM on March 2, 2005

I haven't read the Cecil Adams link, but I'm sure (I hope) it says something to the effect of What Comes Up Must Come Down. Even if you did have an effect on the earth when you jumped up, you'd negate it when you came down a second later. Same with the rockets that rolypolyman fantasized about -- the rocket exhuast would impinge the atmosphere and thus a net sum of Nothing would happen. If you got the rocket exhausting into space over the atmosphere (but with rocket still bolted to ground) then OK you've got a net change in earht momentum, and now you're just back to the problem of earth weighing 100 trillion times more than your little push.

Global warming is happening (i.e. we ARE having an effect on the earth in that respect) only because we're taking fossil energy that was stored millions of years ago and suddenly (in geological time) releasing it into the atmosphere.

Oh my god, I can't believe I went back to this old thread and replied. What's next, trainspotting?
posted by intermod at 6:10 PM on March 7, 2005