Living under the hole in the sky
November 3, 2000 9:54 AM Subscribe
Living under the hole in the sky "The citizens of Punta Arenas, Chile, are the subjects of a potentially deadly experiment: What happens to people who live under the widening ozone hole?"
"What happens to people who live under the widening ozone hole?".
That's easy: they get cancer and die. This has the useful side-effect of clearing out the entire Patagonian region, rendering it safer to our Precious White Children. Now, when they go camping or "adventuring" they won't have to be bothered by irritating non-english-speaking natives with irritating foreign cultures.
Naturally, our Precious White Children will have sufficient sunblock, and large goofy hats made from absurdly expensive UVA & UVB-blocking industrial chemicals.
posted by aramaic at 10:50 AM on November 3, 2000
That's easy: they get cancer and die. This has the useful side-effect of clearing out the entire Patagonian region, rendering it safer to our Precious White Children. Now, when they go camping or "adventuring" they won't have to be bothered by irritating non-english-speaking natives with irritating foreign cultures.
Naturally, our Precious White Children will have sufficient sunblock, and large goofy hats made from absurdly expensive UVA & UVB-blocking industrial chemicals.
posted by aramaic at 10:50 AM on November 3, 2000
Believe it or not, I don't support the Kyoto treaty either. It will only reduce emmisions by 5.2%. Most scientists agree we'll have to reduce emissions by 60% in the next fifty years. Therefore the Kyoto treaty is worthless.It doesn't matter. No one is going to do a damn thing about any of this until it's far too late. Mass extinctions, hundreds of millions, if not billions of human deaths, etc. etc. Enjoy life while you still have one, folks. At least be responsible enough to not have any children.
posted by Mr. skullhead at 11:37 AM on November 3, 2000
posted by Mr. skullhead at 11:37 AM on November 3, 2000
I am sure that I speak for all civilized peoples when I say "billions of deaths? excellent, dude!"
I look forward to this New Golden Age that awaits us, breathless with anticipation. Could it be any more exciting? Not without plunging asteroids, that's for damn sure....
posted by aramaic at 12:02 PM on November 3, 2000
I look forward to this New Golden Age that awaits us, breathless with anticipation. Could it be any more exciting? Not without plunging asteroids, that's for damn sure....
posted by aramaic at 12:02 PM on November 3, 2000
Hmm. Hagelin or Aramaic, Hagelin or Aramaic ... It's a two-horse race and I want to bet on the better horse.
Are you a write in for non-resident citizens?
posted by sylloge at 1:20 PM on November 3, 2000
Are you a write in for non-resident citizens?
posted by sylloge at 1:20 PM on November 3, 2000
i guess that would make your plans for global domination much easier, aramaic.
posted by lescour at 3:34 PM on November 3, 2000
posted by lescour at 3:34 PM on November 3, 2000
Damn you people are bleak. We're all going to die for God's sake. I'll do my part to fix the problem, just present a solution. Step #1 I think would be for those people to pack their bags and leave the area. Sure, maybe I'm being unreasonable, but its not the duration of my life that is on the line. You have to look out for number one you know.
And whats this "Precious White Children" propaganda all about anyway?
posted by howa2396 at 3:54 PM on November 3, 2000
And whats this "Precious White Children" propaganda all about anyway?
posted by howa2396 at 3:54 PM on November 3, 2000
I like (from the linked story):
>> The ozone hole is larger than ever -- and the North Pole may soon equal its size
The earth is changing shape! (emphasis added)
(and, by the way--of course we all know this already--the ozone hole is not the same thing as global warming. The Kyoto treaty is a red herring here.)
posted by rodii at 6:12 PM on November 3, 2000
>> The ozone hole is larger than ever -- and the North Pole may soon equal its size
The earth is changing shape! (emphasis added)
(and, by the way--of course we all know this already--the ozone hole is not the same thing as global warming. The Kyoto treaty is a red herring here.)
posted by rodii at 6:12 PM on November 3, 2000
Hmm. And I always thought the North Pole was a point, with no magnitude. I thnk that is a good prediction.
posted by sylloge at 6:51 PM on November 3, 2000
posted by sylloge at 6:51 PM on November 3, 2000
rodii, also in that article, it is stated that many scientists believe that global warming contributes to ozone thinning. Although the weakness of Kyoto may still make it a red herring :).
posted by daveadams at 10:39 AM on November 4, 2000
posted by daveadams at 10:39 AM on November 4, 2000
Now come on. Climate change indeed - what a load of nonsense. Are we really going to destroy our economies because of some pernicious nonsense put about by beardie eco-warriors?
As Boris Johnson so sensibly pointed out recently, 'There is no evidence that the planet is suffering from the extreme weather patterns associated with climate change; in fact... the weather in parts of the Pacific is stunningly uneventful.'
posted by Mocata at 4:43 AM on November 6, 2000
As Boris Johnson so sensibly pointed out recently, 'There is no evidence that the planet is suffering from the extreme weather patterns associated with climate change; in fact... the weather in parts of the Pacific is stunningly uneventful.'
posted by Mocata at 4:43 AM on November 6, 2000
Now come on, no evidence the planet is suffering indeed -- what a load of nonsense. Are we really going to destroy our environment because of some pernicious nonsense put about by greedy oil-interests?
posted by daveadams at 6:45 AM on November 6, 2000
posted by daveadams at 6:45 AM on November 6, 2000
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Texas Gov. George W. Bush opposes the [Kyoto global warming] treaty and maintains -- against virtually all the available evidence -- that the jury is still out on the causes and impact of global warming.
Argh!
posted by aladfar at 10:12 AM on November 3, 2000