Fear and Loathing in the MLB
November 6, 2000 11:32 AM   Subscribe

Fear and Loathing in the MLB : Gonzo progenitor Hunter S. Thompson kicks off his all-new ESPN column with a modest proposal on speeding up baseball.
posted by kevincmurphy (19 comments total)
It's like watching your uncle, you know the one, the brother your mom never really talks about, it's like him after Thanksgiving dinner, cocked off his ass on Chivas, just GOING ON for hours and hours about everything, and your father muttering under his breath, "...we had to invite this asshole..." and your mother shooting him daggers while worrying if Uncle HST is going to projectile vomit all over the wall.

The good doctor has seen better days, methink.
posted by solistrato at 11:50 AM on November 6, 2000

So, if there are no more pitchers in baseball, does that mean kids have to buy a pitching machine in order to play at the local diamond? Won't that be expensive?

Guess they should start working on their business plan for their lemonade stand.
posted by Succa at 11:52 AM on November 6, 2000

I have to respect anyone who hasn't been to a baseball game in that long though...the ONLY thing worse than watching baseball on T.V. is watching it in person.
posted by th3ph17 at 12:23 PM on November 6, 2000

It could well be that the good doctor has seen better days, but I'll take HST rambling on about pitchers being "pampered little swine" over another mealy-mouthed Peter Gammons column any day. The real test will come when HST has barricaded himself into the Penthouse Suite at the Ritz-Carlton on the ESPN tab, way past deadline and scheming how to skip out on a 1400 dollar room service tab for grapefruits, rum, and high-quality German throwing knives.
posted by apollo at 12:24 PM on November 6, 2000

My God...this would so make my job as a game developer better (Triple Play Baseball 2002 for PS2, in stores next spring! Provided we actually get the damn thing finished! And don't die in the process!). Imagine: we'd no longer have to animate pitchers. We could have players running all over the infield like crazed apes. And just how fun would it be if you're on defense and keep telling the pitching machine to whack your friend in the ribs with a fastball?

But yeah, Scott. I agree. Whatever stage there is after being put out to pasture (probably being sent to the glue factory), the Good Doctor is WAY past it. I wonder, though, if it's in his contract that no one is allowed to edit his Unnecessary Capitalization?
posted by RakDaddy at 12:46 PM on November 6, 2000


didn't you all get the generational memo?

posted by maura at 12:52 PM on November 6, 2000

I think it has something to do with the Keith Richards thing: once you're that far gone, people just let you do whatever. When you take that many drugs, it's like do-it-yourself taxidermy.

The last good thing by HST that I read was his obituary for Richard Nixon. I guess he needs the work, huh?
posted by solistrato at 12:54 PM on November 6, 2000

There were geniuses in the 70s?
posted by lileks at 12:56 PM on November 6, 2000

rakdaddy: you are actually in a position to test out the good doctor's proposal. how about a little easter egg in the game providing the alternative rules he suggests?
posted by lescour at 1:14 PM on November 6, 2000

Here I go defending another Kentucky product. First the Derby (see first link of the day) and now HST, a KY native.

Have you no respect for Utlimate Coolness (pardon the capitalization)? He has been to the Edge and returned to tell us all about it. Hunter S. Thompson, by definition, is supposed to be thought-provoking and FUNNY! Are you really taking it all so seriously? Lighten up. He rocks!

Let the flaming begin...I'll see ya tomorrow.
posted by cowboy at 1:36 PM on November 6, 2000

"Here I go defending another Kentucky product. First the Derby (see first link of the day) and now HST, a KY native."

Syncro! The first thing I ever read of HST's was his story on the KY Derby.

Heh... KY Derby. Sounds obscene.

posted by smcbride at 1:49 PM on November 6, 2000

My team has already been sent to read HST's article and they all think the Thompson Rules are an excellent idea. Too bad our Easter Eggs are contractually stipulated.

Though it wouldn't hurt to try it for an in-house version.
posted by RakDaddy at 2:37 PM on November 6, 2000

Easter eggs are contractually stipulated?? what's the fun of that?!
posted by s10pen at 3:09 PM on November 6, 2000

Don't ask me. Ask the publisher. We have to get Easter Eggs approved before we put them in. Welcome to the world of "A mom in South Bumblefuck, America, was offended by the Big Head Easter Egg in your game and is threatening boycott."
posted by RakDaddy at 3:56 PM on November 6, 2000

SILENCE, FOOLS! (How's that for unnecessary capitalization):

The Doctors' Strange and Terrible rantings are as commandments handed down from the Mount. You will not question, you will not critique, you will simply APPRECIATE.


posted by Optamystic at 4:46 PM on November 6, 2000

You're weird.

But why is HST talking about baseball? It's just ODD. Especially when he could be eviscerating this election.

I'm telling you, something's off. Maybe they killed him and replaced him with an Eliza-like program or something.
posted by solistrato at 4:56 PM on November 6, 2000

If you put the words "South Bumblefuck" in the game, I guarantee you'll offend *someone*. Even if they're only in the binary, on a system with no user level OS.

Is there an easter egg to get a shell prompt on the PSX2?

No, really: the Quanta Delta broadcast character generator; one of the coolest CG's of the early nineties, ran OS/9 68K, and *did* have a shell escape: you could even replace the bootup graphics page, and I did.
posted by baylink at 5:25 PM on November 6, 2000

What *I* wanna know is: is he serious: is ESPN really gonna do it? They could...
posted by baylink at 5:27 PM on November 6, 2000

Why IS he talking about baseball? Everyone knows he's really The True Football Fan. That must be it - a rearguard action in favour of the pigskin.

Anyone doubting the power of HST (though possibly diminished, granted) should read Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail 72. Pure genius - by far the best analysis of that election campaign - esp. as regards the media coverage.
posted by mikel at 9:08 PM on November 6, 2000

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