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April 29, 2005 3:26 PM   Subscribe

School Mistakes Huge Burrito for a Weapon Ok, now it's time to get away from the computer after a long week.
posted by terrier319 (42 comments total)
 
Police commanded the boy to "Drop the chalupa."

After everyone has a good laugh over this, I hope we're at least one tiny step closer to dropping the insane suspicions and post-9/11 rhetoric...
posted by klangklangston at 3:33 PM on April 29, 2005


after seeing a boy carrying something long and wrapped into Marshall Junior High

Umm, sounds like someone was jealous. At least he was practicing safe burrito by keeping it wrapped.
posted by fenriq at 3:33 PM on April 29, 2005


Thirty inches, though? I wouldn't be jealous, I'd be wondering what went wrong...

(Come to think of it, where do you get a tortilla that big?)
posted by nebulawindphone at 3:37 PM on April 29, 2005


You shoulda seen the queso!
posted by ColdChef at 3:40 PM on April 29, 2005


Heh. I'll bet this is even funnier in Spanish. (Care to guess what "burrito" is slang for in Spanish?)
posted by telstar at 3:50 PM on April 29, 2005


This is like something out of South Park, reality is a strange, strange place.
posted by furiousxgeorge at 3:51 PM on April 29, 2005


I'm just glad the kid didn't get in trouble over it. I wouldn't have been suprised if the kid got suspended or expelled thanks to some dumb "zero-tolerance" rule.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 3:51 PM on April 29, 2005


(Come to think of it, where do you get a tortilla that big?)

Well, it says the kid made it up as "part of [his] extra-credit assignment to create commercial advertising for a product." "We had to make up a product and it could have been anything. I made up a restaurant that specialized in oddly large burritos."

Entrepreneurs take note! Are you packing?
posted by anthill at 3:55 PM on April 29, 2005


nebulawindphone, quite right, I saw the 30 inch part after my comment.
posted by fenriq at 4:01 PM on April 29, 2005


At least he was practicing safe burrito by keeping it wrapped.

As my nextdoor neighbor would say, a burrito that size is unsafe at any speed.
posted by me & my monkey at 4:01 PM on April 29, 2005


There was this awesome taqueria across the street from my high school, and they served up this monster burrito. They took two giant tortillas and put in rice, beans, salsa, chicken, carnitas, and carne asada. Even with our teenaged metabolisms, none of us could eat one in a single setting.

Still, as big as those things were, they weren't thirty inches. Jebus.
posted by RakDaddy at 4:18 PM on April 29, 2005


I was listening to Shawn Hannity (research only...really) when this lady called in and said her son had just been suspended for the second time for making - of all things - a pretzel gun. Yes, the kid tore part of the pretzel off and bingo!, he had a weapon worthy of scaring the shit out of school officials to the point they sent him home, wrote his mom this pathetic letter about teaching her kids about evil guns, blah, blah, blah.

Not surprisingly, he blamed the liberal establishment and didn't seem to think three years of fear mongering by this administration might have had anything to do with it. (cough)

I hope the kid gets a 'A' on his extra-credit because there's no way anyone else in that class got this kind of exposure.
posted by j.p. Hung at 4:23 PM on April 29, 2005


I don't know about you, but reading this story makes me want to go out to Clovis to find that burrito. If they have any skills at all, whoever sold him that burrito has a readymade advertising campaign that could make them lots of money.

"Our burritos are so big and packed with extras that they must registered as deadly weapons..."
posted by jonp72 at 4:38 PM on April 29, 2005


"And how was the burrito?"

"It was delicious"
posted by Four Flavors at 4:45 PM on April 29, 2005


We're all a little nervous in this post 9/11 world.
posted by NewBornHippy at 4:58 PM on April 29, 2005


The burrito was part of Morrissey's extra-credit assignment to create commercial advertising for a product.

Success!
posted by Pretty_Generic at 5:04 PM on April 29, 2005


Argh, I was beat to FPPing this. Anyway:

'It's like triyng to describe the meaning of life'. Or perhaps the meaning of death. In any case, people sure love their burritos.
posted by Hot Like Your 12V Wire at 5:09 PM on April 29, 2005


the terrorists win every day
posted by tsarfan at 5:16 PM on April 29, 2005


"Someone called authorities Thursday after seeing a boy carrying something long and wrapped into Marshall Junior High."

Who made this call? are there vigilante junior high school entrance watchers now?
posted by longsleeves at 5:56 PM on April 29, 2005


I find living in a fear induced state makes for more hilarious news articles.
posted by Staggering Jack at 6:03 PM on April 29, 2005


How long has it been since 9/11?

Isn't it time to get over it already?
posted by five fresh fish at 6:27 PM on April 29, 2005


NEVAR FORGET!!!!
posted by quonsar at 6:44 PM on April 29, 2005


'Oh, my gosh, they're talking about my burrito.'

Yep.
posted by Kloryne at 6:49 PM on April 29, 2005


I've lived in New Mexico. We have some pretty dangerous burritos there.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 7:09 PM on April 29, 2005


is the fart produced from this burrito considered a WMD?
posted by j.p. Hung at 7:56 PM on April 29, 2005


The kid should have had this woman knit him a burrito cozy.
posted by Dunvegan at 8:13 PM on April 29, 2005


i read the post three times now and i still can't figure out why anyone thought this was a weapon.

am i the only one with this problem?
posted by nola at 9:55 PM on April 29, 2005


Not surprisingly, he blamed the liberal establishment and didn't seem to think three years of fear mongering by this administration might have had anything to do with it. (cough)

I'd like to see Bush drawn and quartered and his head on a pike outside the Capitol as much as anyone else, but this has been going on since long before 9/11. It's more a function of Columbine and the increasingly puritanical worldview of the US (for which both liberals and conservatives are to blame) than anything else.
posted by IshmaelGraves at 10:19 PM on April 29, 2005


First of all, this makes me hungry.

Second, as if this kid wasn't THE MAN enough for bringing in a 30-inch burrito for himself and his homies, the fuckin' dumass principle thought this kind grub specimen was a gun and called in the SWAT team.

ROFLarious!

Hero of the school!
posted by scarabic at 10:22 PM on April 29, 2005


Boy, this takes me back.

Was working my first job -- at a donut (or "doughnut" if you prefer) shop, and had a small war going with one of the patrons. I had better ammunition (day old donuts, like rocks) but he'd come up with all sorts of stuff and of course, not being employed there, he was fearless about pulling stuff in front of the customers.

Well one day, he comes in to buy an eclair, and I chase him out with Robin's Eggs (the baked "holes" from the donuts) and across the street besides. Well it was evening, and as I bolted across the street, I heard tires screech and saw headlights swing in my direction from behind. Within seconds I was backed up against a store's brick wall with a patrol car screeching to a halt right in front of me, cops jumping out, hands on holstered weapons, and one of them shouts (as my friends watch from the donut shop window across the street), "Watcha got there, son? What's in your hand?!" and I yelp back "It's a donut! A DONUT!"

Yeah. That's... 15 years ago and still can't live it down.
posted by dreamsign at 10:34 PM on April 29, 2005


Was working my first job -- at a donut (or "doughnut" if you prefer) shop, and had a small war going with one of the patrons.

Now that sounds like a story that needs some explaining!
posted by Joybooth at 12:08 AM on April 30, 2005


why does that boy hate Mexico so much?
posted by matteo at 2:17 AM on April 30, 2005


*laughs 'til she cries at dreamsign's story*
posted by dabitch at 3:10 AM on April 30, 2005


It's more a function of Columbine and the increasingly puritanical worldview of the US (for which both liberals and conservatives are to blame) than anything else.

both sides against the middle. Works a lot of the time.
posted by telstar at 3:25 AM on April 30, 2005


How much you wanna bet this kid becomes the "Jared" of Chipotle?
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 7:34 AM on April 30, 2005


thats a good story, dreamsign. I can relate, too.
posted by puke & cry at 8:59 AM on April 30, 2005


this is the police!!! ... step AWAY from that burrito!!

it's only a matter of time before taco bell gets shut down as a terrorist organization
posted by pyramid termite at 9:35 AM on April 30, 2005


The burrito was part of Morrissey's extra-credit assignment to create commercial advertising for a product.

Kids, take note. Doing your homework can only lead to trouble.
posted by LeLiLo at 11:04 AM on April 30, 2005


The flatulence produced by a burrito that big could be a deadly weapon. Just sayin...

The burrito was part of Morrissey's extra-credit assignment


Morrissey sucks.

sorry. damn reflexes...
posted by jonmc at 11:46 AM on April 30, 2005


five fresh fish: "How long has it been since 9/11? Isn't it time to get over it already?"

Nobody said anything about 9/11 here. Actually, they were worried about a school shooting/bombing/attack of some kind. And how long has it been since one of those happened?

Maybe it's George Bush that did this. George Bush and his Republican cronies hanging out outside schools and busting kids for burritos. Damned red-staters. They're just trying to cause hysteria to manufacture support in their voting base, which consists of fifteen-year-old kids.
posted by koeselitz at 12:36 PM on April 30, 2005


I think I want to grab a WMD* right now!

*Weapon of ¡Mas Delicioso!
posted by Down10 at 12:57 PM on April 30, 2005


Just proves you can wrap anything in tin foil, and folks will call it a weapon in the US these days.
posted by QIbHom at 1:16 PM on April 30, 2005


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