Help Pick a Mascot
May 11, 2005 9:03 PM   Subscribe

If you could change the college mascot, what would you choose? Part II Revenge of the Warriors. Part One. Now before we suggest the popular, but offensive Warriors, it has already been shot down. Gold is now dead after about a week. Suggestions welcome, but seeing how a lamer mascot took the place of a lame mascost, with no warning, the new mascot is sure to be far worse.
posted by brent (30 comments total)
"Warrior" is offensive???

But warriors rock!
posted by BoringPostcards at 9:13 PM on May 11, 2005

sorry brent--last week
posted by amberglow at 9:22 PM on May 11, 2005


The Marquette Marky-Marks.

I'll be accepting payment in cash, please.
posted by wendell at 9:24 PM on May 11, 2005

The coolest mascot in college sports are the UC Santa Cruz Banana Slugs.
posted by LarryC at 9:29 PM on May 11, 2005

Wait, Marquette has an athletics department?
posted by oddman at 9:38 PM on May 11, 2005

Bring it into the 'net age: The Troll
posted by thedevildancedlightly at 10:41 PM on May 11, 2005

The Earthworms or the Bunnies, as they are both Badger food.
posted by caddis at 10:48 PM on May 11, 2005

munchkins! manglers! maulers! muppets! mongosauruses! mongooses! mongeese! mudslingers! moxie! manhandlers! magicians! macaroni! MAC-10s! mauves! municipals! mononucleosises! manatees! mastodons! bugheads.
posted by furiousthought at 10:55 PM on May 11, 2005

They chose Gold. They were told it was a shitty decision. They are trying again. Not something you see everyday.
posted by gunthersghost at 11:02 PM on May 11, 2005

why has it become pc to make your nickname a color?

so lame.

i second the Trolls.
posted by tsarfan at 11:04 PM on May 11, 2005

posted by Pretty_Generic at 11:19 PM on May 11, 2005


If we're going to be offensive: the Gay Niggers?

(and before the flamewar starts, it's based on the GNAA which is a legendary Internet rabble-rousing group)
posted by thedevildancedlightly at 11:24 PM on May 11, 2005

For something aggressive, faintly kinky, yet politically correct, how about the Flagella? Just imagine all the wet wriggling whips routines the cheerleaders could perform.
posted by GoatCactus at 11:41 PM on May 11, 2005

Actually, my alma mater holds claim to the coolest mascot - the Evergreen State College Geoducks -

(words and music by Malcolm Stilson, 1971)

Go, Geoducks go,
Through the mud and the sand,
let's go.
Siphon high, squirt it out,
swivel all about,
let it all hang out.

Go, Geoducks go,
Strech your necks when the tide
is low
Siphon high, squirt it out,
swivel all about,
let it all hang out.

posted by stenseng at 11:46 PM on May 11, 2005

Marquette is in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, which fronts on Lake Michigan, so they could be the Lakers.
posted by alumshubby at 3:16 AM on May 12, 2005

Bob. Just Bob.
posted by damnitkage at 4:21 AM on May 12, 2005

Maybe a nice symbol like that Prince fella.
posted by badger_flammable at 6:11 AM on May 12, 2005

Stenseng, is that a circumcised or uncircumcised geoduck?
posted by Gamblor at 6:24 AM on May 12, 2005

Seconded, gunthersghost. Whatever they end up choosing, it's really cool that they listened to their alumni and their fans and ditched the unpopular name.

How about the "Hops", to pay tribute to Milwaukee's beer-town heritage. It would work particularly well for the basketball team. Maybe a cutsey kangaroo mascot for the children.
posted by AgentRocket at 6:50 AM on May 12, 2005

This makes me think of SUNY Stony Brook; they used to call all their sports teams/mascot something traditional, like the "Patriots" or something... then they changed it several years ago to... The Seawolves, trying in part to reflect both agressiveness and the maritime "vibe" that much of coastal Long Island has. But a seawolf? It's not even a thing. Not even a mythological thing. wtf.
posted by exlotuseater at 7:08 AM on May 12, 2005

Oh, it's uncut baby. We let it ALLLLL hang out....
posted by stenseng at 8:03 AM on May 12, 2005

The UC Santa Cruz Banana Slug mascot is actually not the official mascot ( I think its the sea lion or something), but was just used because of popular demand. Now everything at the school has a banana slug on it, so it has official approval on some level. I wonder if we have a track team...
Of course, the University of Delaware has the Blue Hens, I wonder if the men's teams have a qualifier, like with male mascots (the Lady whatevers).
posted by 445supermag at 10:49 AM on May 12, 2005

I remember in San Diego when the SDSU Aztecs changed their mascot from "Monty" Montezuma, to "Ambassador" Montezuma, who was going to (I swear to god) "inform and educate the San Diego community about Aztec history and culture."

The football team's mascot changed from a big, oily, roid-raging bodybuilder in a loincloth with a spear, to a pudgy grad student wearing a robe and a big feathery cap. They might as well have dressed up Ben Stein, that's how non-threatening that caramel-coated queer of a mascot was. Fuckin' MECHa.
posted by iron chef morimoto at 10:59 AM on May 12, 2005

Funny how uppity white liberals whine about "offensive" sports mascots like Redskins, Indians and Warriors, which their "stereotypical" portrayals of native americans, but they never say anything about the similarly stereotypical portrayals of white cultures.

Boston Celtics: that little midget Irish dude? You don't here Irish complaining.

Notre Dame Fighting Irish: same as above.

USC Trojans: a guy in armor on a horse. Many parallels to native american mascots, only this one is white, and gets no complaints from uppity white liberals.

UNLV Rebels/Ole Miss Rebels: Southern guy with a musket and dirty facial hair.

Minnesota Vikings: OK, so now all nordic men have blond hair and braided pigtails?

There are many, many, many more examples such as SF 49ers (lots of teams with that name) Philadelphia 76ers, Dallas Cowboys, Portland Trailblazers... the list goes on and on.

Some people just need to STFU on this one.
posted by b_thinky at 11:49 AM on May 12, 2005

The difference, b_stinky, is that most while males LIKE being stereotyped as bloodthirsty warriors. (And the Irish - of which I am 3/8 - are usually too drunk to notice they're being dissed)
posted by wendell at 12:26 PM on May 12, 2005

Personally, I think the Vikings should change their name because the Norsemen were actually good in battle. :)
posted by graventy at 1:10 PM on May 12, 2005

Personally, I think the Vikings should change their name because the Norsemen were actually good in battle. :)

Clearly, the Vikings need to become the Whizzinators. Or the Prosthetic Cocks.
posted by COBRA! at 1:21 PM on May 12, 2005

stenseng isn't kidding. On my first day at Evergreen I saw a guy in a huge geoduck suit (much more geoduck-like than the goofy costume pictured above) walking around campus. And all I could think was "I'm attending a college whose mascot is a giant penis!"
posted by litlnemo at 3:35 PM on May 12, 2005

wendell: isn't it kind of, like, stereotyping to say one race of people like being stereotyped while another does not?

Go Redskins!!
posted by b_thinky at 10:31 PM on May 12, 2005

I suggested to totally inoffensive "Enola Gays"
posted by Citizen Premier at 10:54 PM on May 12, 2005

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