It's probably not a good idea to get your hopes up for tomorrow night.
May 17, 2005 9:52 AM   Subscribe

 
"Aghast" really isn't a big enough word for what I'm feeling here.
posted by staresbynight at 9:54 AM on May 17, 2005


Great, now I've got the Matlock theme in my head for the rest of the day.
posted by Saucy Intruder at 9:55 AM on May 17, 2005


That just goes too far...It's gonna be the material for nightmares.

And you couldn't have found more that one thing to link in a tag that long?
posted by mystyk at 9:56 AM on May 17, 2005


And you couldn't have found more that one thing to link in a tag that long?

Yeah! Give us more Star Wars Doggie Bondage pictures!

on second thought...
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 9:59 AM on May 17, 2005


mystyk, would you rather he'd linked this, too?

/shudder
posted by gurple at 9:59 AM on May 17, 2005


Well I could have just typed 'dun dun dun', but that wouldn't really convey the full majesty of John Williams' score, now would it?
posted by Simon! at 10:00 AM on May 17, 2005


I'd hit it.
posted by BobFrapples at 10:03 AM on May 17, 2005


Saucy Intruder, that's the funniest thing I've heard all day.
posted by saladin at 10:03 AM on May 17, 2005


"I was a guy who wanted to make independent movies outside the Hollywood system. I lived in San Francisco. I still do. Now I want to make some movies about other ideas, other people, other places. I couldn't have started these movies when I was 75, so I did them while I had the energy they took to do them. Maybe I'll have that energy again, but I can't count on that. I wrote and directed some movies. By its definition, a myth has a life of its own.

"I've done my bit," he says, "and now I'm on my way."


"Hey! Your Darth Vader sprinkler is getting my dog's bondage outfit all wet!"
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 10:18 AM on May 17, 2005


From the link: Ships Worldwide, except Mexico

. . . where it's already selling briskly as the Li'l Matador Pet Costume.
posted by gompa at 10:22 AM on May 17, 2005


You may need this.
posted by peacay at 10:29 AM on May 17, 2005


"Merchandising, merchandising, where the real money from the movie is made. Spaceballs the T-shirt. Spaceballs the Lunchbox. Spaceballs the Coloring Book. Spaceballs the flame thrower... Kids love it." - Yogurt
posted by anthill at 10:29 AM on May 17, 2005


Hey, I hear there's a new movie coming out about some wars in space or was it stars warring in space? Something like that.

Maybe someone could do a little research and post about it? Preferably with lots of pictures of Natalie Portman involved.

People who dress up their dogs in clothes should be deported to the sun.
posted by fenriq at 10:31 AM on May 17, 2005


Wow! Star Wars merchandise! Who'd've thunk it would be a reality.

that said, that Vader sprinkler is fucking precious, and I want one posthaste.
posted by Busithoth at 10:32 AM on May 17, 2005


Unfunny Joke 1: What has Star Wars got to do with the quartus paeon?
Unfunny Joke 2: Don't you mean ... Duuuuuuun, Duuun, Duuuun, Duun, Dun, Duuun.
(because - you know - episode one lasted longer than any of the other episodes)
posted by seanyboy at 10:32 AM on May 17, 2005


this would have been nice too

Giant PEZ: Limited Edition Yoda
Our Price: $29.99

Limited Edition Crystal Yoda
Stands 12" tall
Features authentic dialogue and sound effects
Plays the Star Wars theme song
posted by afu at 10:32 AM on May 17, 2005 [1 favorite]


Needs more hot grits.
posted by loquacious at 10:35 AM on May 17, 2005


Great, now I've got the Matlock theme in my head for the rest of the day.

It seemed more like The A-Team to me.
posted by kirkaracha at 10:37 AM on May 17, 2005


BobFrapples I'd hit it.

SEE what happens when we let teh gheys marry?!
posted by PurplePorpoise at 10:39 AM on May 17, 2005


How could they combine something as hot as leia in the costume with a freaking dog. Is this Rick Santorum's fantasy?
posted by mathowie at 10:41 AM on May 17, 2005


Sounded like This to me. (But it took a while to remember it)
Dun Dun Dun Duuuun Duuuuun
This Land is Myyyyyy Laaaand.
etc.
posted by seanyboy at 10:42 AM on May 17, 2005


Great, now I've got the Matlock theme in my head for the rest of the day.

It seemed more like The A-Team to me.

I was thinking Law and Order.

Also, they should set up a sting operation and arrest anyone who buys this for animal cruelty.
posted by Kellydamnit at 10:43 AM on May 17, 2005


Good lord. Please, when will the long national nightmare be over?
posted by ChrisTN at 10:47 AM on May 17, 2005


Customers who bought Slave Leia Pet Costume also bought:
Star Wars Trivial Pursuit DVD The Saga Edition
Princess Leia Star Wars M&M Plush Buddy
Yoda Pet Costume


even worse than we thought.
posted by exlotuseater at 10:49 AM on May 17, 2005


If you feel the need to cleanse your mind of this unholy union of metal bikini and pooch, may I recommend this.
posted by brain_drain at 10:49 AM on May 17, 2005


No thanks! Our chihuahua already looks enough like Yoda to be comfortable...

We adopted it. Really, we wouldn't choose a chihuahua in a million (light)years
posted by kika at 10:51 AM on May 17, 2005


I was trying to understand why someone mentioned the taste of Pepsi Blue in this thread and went looking around for some connection to SW. I found it, but the comment went away. All for nothing? Perhaps not, as I did find another movie-related (though not directly) piece of swag.
posted by john at 11:03 AM on May 17, 2005


Dum dum dum duuuuuum DUUUUUUUM dum dum dum DUUUUUUUUUM duuuuum dum dum dum DUUUUUUUUM duuuuuuum dum dum dum duuum!
posted by Satapher at 11:10 AM on May 17, 2005


Ships Worldwide, except Mexico.

Mi perro no tiene gusto de eso.
posted by jeremias at 11:14 AM on May 17, 2005


The only way this could be anything other than utterly psychotic is if, upon placing an order, the company sends a group of stern peers to one's house to just stare disapprovingly instead of actually shipping the product.
posted by truex at 11:22 AM on May 17, 2005


You know, I thought this post was going to suck.

It did, but I laughed. But now, I want to cry.

Why God, why?! Damn you Simon!

;_;
posted by Floach at 11:24 AM on May 17, 2005


I can't believe in a god that would let this happen.
posted by Hugh2d2 at 11:25 AM on May 17, 2005


Yeah, the musical onomatopoeia is just tacky. It's bad enough on AskMe, but seeing it in the blue makes my eyes bleed. Take it away, please, for the children.
posted by baphomet at 11:30 AM on May 17, 2005


Clearly, the gay agenda is on the march, even in a galaxy far far away. Vigilance, friends.
posted by digaman at 11:30 AM on May 17, 2005


Slave pets make baby jesus cry.
posted by Snowflake at 11:30 AM on May 17, 2005


Those knees!!!
posted by devbrain at 11:31 AM on May 17, 2005


Do you think that thing could fit on a rabbit?
posted by robocop is bleeding at 11:45 AM on May 17, 2005


Oooooh, thanks for the reminder. I have to watch episodes I & II in preparation for Friday.
posted by deborah at 11:50 AM on May 17, 2005


Store Wars - Organic Vegetables battle. flash
posted by raedyn at 12:04 PM on May 17, 2005


Once again life imitates The Onion. They had an article some time back called, "Dressing Your Dog Up Like Boba Fett Is Something That Takes a Weekend". But now that they've gone subscription archive, I can't link to it.
posted by orange swan at 12:07 PM on May 17, 2005


If there's a bright center to this universe, we're on the planet that it's farthest from.

and yeah, that's great english there ain't it. glad i didn't actually write it.

anything for a buck, huh?
posted by zoogleplex at 12:25 PM on May 17, 2005


"I have a bad feeling about this."
posted by XK-9472 at 3:33 PM on May 17

.
posted by Darth Mordant at 3:37 PM on May 17

.
posted by Darth Fulsome at 3:38 PM on May 17

.
posted by Darth Bellicose at 3:41 PM on May 17

.
posted by Darth Jejune at 3:47 PM on May 17
posted by Smart Dalek at 12:29 PM on May 17, 2005


.
posted by Dean Keaton at 12:36 PM on May 17, 2005


Is that even the right Leia hair for the slave outfit?
posted by anapestic at 12:40 PM on May 17, 2005


I think you forgot Darth Flopsy.

Isn't that right, Flopsy?
posted by zoogleplex at 12:43 PM on May 17, 2005


Does anyone besides me see this as just helping furries take things to the next (horrifying) level?
posted by Kellydamnit at 12:48 PM on May 17, 2005


Oh, I'm pretty sure they've already gone this far already. If not farther. *shudder*
posted by zoogleplex at 12:50 PM on May 17, 2005


Great, now I've got the Matlock theme in my head for the rest of the day.

Funny. I got the Rockford Files.
posted by mrgrimm at 12:52 PM on May 17, 2005


I never knew Jabba had a tattoo.
posted by bashos_frog at 12:56 PM on May 17, 2005


Bend to me and feel the wet side of The Force(TM)
posted by hal9k at 1:06 PM on May 17, 2005


Too bad they couldn't have found a more attractive model dog.
But then you might as well skip the silly costume, anyway.
Hm. Yeah. The premise is just flawed here.
posted by Wolfdog at 1:32 PM on May 17, 2005


I thought it was the traditional wedding processional.
posted by Pattie at 1:39 PM on May 17, 2005


I'm sending my therapy bills to Metafilter.
posted by Jart at 1:54 PM on May 17, 2005


I'm buying one.
posted by yodelingisfun at 2:01 PM on May 17, 2005


I never knew Jabba had a tattoo.

Read more.
posted by armoured-ant at 3:37 PM on May 17, 2005


...The young Obi-Wan Kenobi is not, I hasten to add, the most nauseating figure onscreen; nor is R2-D2 or even C-3PO, although I still fail to understand why I should have been expected to waste twenty-five years of my life following the progress of a beeping trash can and a gay, gold-plated Jeeves.

No, the one who gets me is Yoda. May I take the opportunity to enter a brief plea in favor of his extermination? Any educated moviegoer would know what to do, having watched that helpful sequence in “Gremlins” when a small, sage-colored beastie is fed into an electric blender. A fittingly frantic end, I feel, for the faux-pensive stillness on which the Yoda legend has hung. At one point in the new film, he assumes the role of cosmic shrink—squatting opposite Anakin in a noirish room, where the light bleeds sideways through slatted blinds. Anakin keeps having problems with his dark side, in the way that you or I might suffer from tennis elbow, but Yoda, whose reptilian smugness we have been encouraged to mistake for wisdom, has the answer. “Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose,” he says. Hold on, Kermit, run that past me one more time. If you ever got laid (admittedly a long shot, unless we can dig you up some undiscerning alien hottie with a name like Jar Jar Gabor), and spawned a brood of Yodettes, are you saying that you’d leave them behind at the first sniff of danger? Also, while we’re here, what’s with the screwy syntax? Deepest mind in the galaxy, apparently, and you still express yourself like a day-tripper with a dog-eared phrase book. “I hope right you are.” Break me a fucking give.


Space Case
posted by y2karl at 4:23 PM on May 17, 2005


Alan Colmes: You had sex with animals?

Neal Horsley: Absolutely. I was a fool. When you grow up on a farm in Georgia, your first girlfriend is the pet dog all dressed up like Slave Girl Leia a mule.

Colmes: Holy Ghost spread out on a Triscuit, I'd get me some of that! Are you suggesting that everybody who grows up on a farm in Georgia has a mule as a girlfriend?

Horsley: It has historically been the case. You people oughtta come down to my farm next Friday, we got a horse with a Darth Vader mask and a sheep with a mouth like Natalie Portman's, I swear are so far removed from reality...
posted by palinode at 4:37 PM on May 17, 2005


I hope the manufacturers are prepared for the backlash, as kids everywhere force their dogs into lives of slavery under the control of huge, babbling, slug-like creatures.
posted by 0bvious at 5:34 PM on May 17, 2005


This isn't a problem for me except that it's so sexy.
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 6:27 PM on May 17, 2005


Dun Dun Dun Duuuun Duuuuun

At last, we are done. Done done done donnnne!
posted by SPrintF at 7:34 PM on May 17, 2005


I moused over the link. I thought it would be flowers candygram landshark...
posted by ?! at 9:03 PM on May 17, 2005


What about Spock's brain!?? ...ooh wait. Wrong geek thread.
posted by ZachsMind at 9:58 PM on May 17, 2005


Wrrraaaaaarrrrgh!
posted by rory at 6:03 AM on May 18, 2005


Oh good, I'm not too late to make the requisite "bitch in heat" reference.
posted by ancientgower at 10:50 AM on May 18, 2005


Why not dress the dog up as something more animal-like, say, oh, a wookiee? Or an Ewok? Then... you could really, really hate it.
posted by codger at 10:33 AM on May 19, 2005


I'm surprised they didn't call this Darth Mall.
posted by mazola at 2:28 PM on May 19, 2005


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