tin foil house
May 20, 2005 7:22 PM   Subscribe

Tired of wearing your tin foil hat (or should I say "Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie") around the house? The obvious cure is to cover your whole house.
posted by 445supermag (24 comments total)
Keeps 'em from stealing your wifi, too.
posted by ulotrichous at 7:27 PM on May 20, 2005

I don't see how the code enforcement officers who made them take it down could do that, unless it's a covenant protected comunity, no RV's, boats, trampolines, basketball hoops, but somehow I doubt it from the location.

The fact that they covered their house in aluminum to deflect evil microwaves is less of the story than why the city decided that you CAN"T wrap your own house in aluminum pannels..

There ARE comercial siding retailers that use aluminum siding..

What's wrong here? The intent?
posted by Balisong at 7:39 PM on May 20, 2005

Well, if it works for glaciers. . .
posted by Staggering Jack at 7:41 PM on May 20, 2005

Hmm, very Andy Warhol.
posted by ITheCosmos at 7:42 PM on May 20, 2005

I love how the satellite dish is uncovered. Apparently not all the radiation is bad.
posted by sbutler at 7:44 PM on May 20, 2005

From the "Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie" link:
** HISTORICAL FOOTNOTE: Aluminum was originally named "alumium" by Sir Humphry Davy, who later changed it to "aluminum" (perhaps in an attempt to make it more Latinized since alumen is Latin for alum, the aluminum compound that the name is derived from). The British (and allied English speakers) shortly thereafter changed the name once more, this time to "aluminium" so that it would again match the pattern of most other elements (helium, sodium, etc.), while the North Americans eventually decided to keep the second, slightly more traditional name. I predict that North Americans will adopt the more regular "-ium" spelling by the year 2050, prompting the British to start calling it "alumininium". At that point debate can begin on changing "platinum" to "platinium"
posted by schyler523 at 7:53 PM on May 20, 2005

What's wrong here? The intent?

Everyone else gets bombarded with mind control rays. Do these fuckers think they're special or something?
posted by c13 at 7:59 PM on May 20, 2005

Aluminum suppositories are far less garish and are rarely cause for consternation . . . um, for the neighbors.

(fun post. thanks)
posted by johnj at 8:06 PM on May 20, 2005

Ah.. the Jester shall be forbidden the fruits of the rye, so he may contsntly remind us that we are all insane.
posted by Balisong at 8:09 PM on May 20, 2005

I never knew paranoid delusions affected whole families at once. Scary.
posted by fungible at 8:17 PM on May 20, 2005

Sounds to me like we need a California tag...
posted by Mr. Gunn at 8:20 PM on May 20, 2005

Everyone else gets bombarded with mind control rays. Do these fuckers think they're special or something?
In the video I saw on the new tonight, they claim the microwaves were powerful enough to cause material to burst into flame. The mind control waves that I receive just tell me to kill, kill them all! Interestingly, they claim the rays started after 9-11, but are from the neighbors.
posted by 445supermag at 8:24 PM on May 20, 2005

Aluminum siding wouldn't work. You know the government puts little microslits in all aluminum siding manufactured in the US. It began with a seemingly auspicious relationship with the Sears and Roebuck corporation, then a small time apparel manufacturer, in the year 1878, and several defense contracts whereby the retailer provided the military and other then-as-yet-unnamed agencies (later the CIA, FBI, NSA, ATF, ABC, FDA, USDA, and NFL) with cold-weather apparel, boots, reveille bugles and thumbtacks, but as the relationship grew, fostered by contacts in the KKK, which began, little known fact, as a clothing and accessories manufacturer and retailer for fraternal organizations, eg: the freemasons, the delta-mu-omega fraternal order, the order of benevolent antelope, and the omega-fu-que fraternal association of travelling salesmen (you didn't really think that all those robes and jewelry were by accident, did you? oh no - it's all about profit margin, as you will see) certain contacts on both sides of the military/governmental and civilian fence began to see long term possibilities aka growth opportunities in providing not only the military but also the civilian population with clothing, foodstuffs, baby formula, automobiles, lipsticks, prophylactics, chocolate, nylon stockings, and certain other since-discontinued covertly developed products such as pep pills, the male birth control pill, the antidote to alcohol induced euphoria (designed to increase alcohol sales by negating some of the negative effects of drinking, although it was later determined to cause nausea, insanity, trembling, stroke, sweating, impotence, stretch marks, diarrhea, and uncontrollable laughter in lab rats, a fact later covered up by what we now call the FDA, a side project of Roosevelt's Rough Riders campaign which was created for the sole purpose of approving so called syphilis cures in the days following the Mexican-American war, during which Roosevelt himself and many of his men were afflicted with the disease after raping their way through the mainland peninsula of what was then Mexico but is now known as southern california, lower texas, and, not without irony, New Mexico) and ultimately this relationship grew into what was hailed around the world as a retail cornucopia: the Sears and Roebuck catalog, a true American institution which channeled all kinds of life-sustaining products such as clothing, appliances, garden implements, socks, recreational equipment including but no limited to leather-hide hand sewn game balls (eg: baseballs and later softballs, the latter being now the object of a game fully much-enjoyed in its own right but which was begun as the brainstorm of a brigadier colonel who later went on to oversee the manhattan project before his retirement, as a "new and improved" baseball, a bigger baseball, a better baseball, designed to sell more units and reap even more dollars back into the pockets of our corrupt officials in Washington who had little better to do in those years than make our national pastime outmoded for the sake of a lousy buck) and also medicine balls, all of which was hailed as a gigantic success for the consumer, although some began to question the complete vertical integration of the american lifestyle under one company's control, especially a company with close ties to the military industrial complex of the US army, which even then was irradiating blacks as part of a program purported to treat hiccups, and introducing mealworms and caterpillar matter into school lunches as a low-cost way of addressing the protein crisis after the dust bowl, although most of the people who questioned this vertical integration were never seen again, each perishing under mysterious circumstances one after the other, the series of which has now been attributed to possession of the "crystal skull," replications of which are sold on the home shopping channel along with a tall tale about a curse that visits every owner of the original - a genius plot, really, on the part of the government: to murder dissidents with impunity, plant an outlandish, scant-believeable piece of bogus evidence along the way, blame the mysterious deaths on hocus-pocus, and then make a profit selling replicas of their instrument of deceit to an unwitting public.

And there you have it. If you want to uncover the web of corruption in this country, simply look at the bottom of one of those crystal skull replications, and you will see it there in print: SEARS ROEBUCK AND COMPANY LTD. This is how we have arrived at a country where a space-based missile defense system is billed as our only means of survival and yet is simply a cover story for upgrading the satellite system which projects the mind control rays into our homes every day. If you have not yet coated your home in a non-ferrous metal, I advise you to do so immediately. If you own a GPS device, dispose of it immediately, but do not destroy it. Right now the budget for maintaining mind-control rays is limited, and owners of GPS systems are currently spared, but only because the governement thinks they know where they are. Of course, disposing of your GPS system will only save you until the next election, which actually has nothing to do with politics at all but is, like the census, merely a recurring government project to tag and identify us wherever we may be. DON'T VOTE. DON'T GIVE IN TO INFERIOR GOVERNMENT CONTROLLED ALUMINUM SIDING. PROTECT YOUR FAMILY AND THEIR PRECIOUS BODILY FLUIDS.

God bless America.
posted by scarabic at 8:32 PM on May 20, 2005

who could possibly follow a comment like that?
posted by moonbird at 8:34 PM on May 20, 2005

That was AWESOME, Scarabic!!
And just reaffirms my point.
posted by Balisong at 8:36 PM on May 20, 2005

posted by c13 at 9:01 PM on May 20, 2005

Scarabic, the windowpane is for Saturday nights. Please don't waste it.
posted by fungible at 9:51 PM on May 20, 2005

i drove by this house earlier. there's a freak parade going up and down the block. 100% pure awesome.
posted by luriete at 11:29 PM on May 20, 2005

Go on, think they're crazy; that's just what the Homeland Securitate WANTS you to think.
posted by davy at 12:05 AM on May 21, 2005

Yo Balisong-
Did you check out the video? I'm a small town planner/code enforcement guy and something like that is a total eyesore in any community. Would you want to live next door to it??
posted by Drewster at 12:27 AM on May 21, 2005

Yeah well I've been to Sacramento and it's hard to argue that any *particular* house is an eyesore.

No, I probably wouldn't want to live next to it, either. But there's not much in the way of other people and the things they do that I want to live next to :)
posted by scarabic at 2:54 AM on May 21, 2005

I particularly liked this line from the first link :

Science is not a strong point among the paranoid.

Neither is good grooming, apparently. You can argue that the tinfoil hat is a fashion statement, but I would think that it would turn one's hair into an unsightly staticky mess.

Then again, the goverment wants you to wash your hair because they put brain-loosener in every bottle of Pantene... musn't... wash... hair...
posted by grapefruitmoon at 5:07 AM on May 21, 2005

I love you scarabic.
posted by cheerleaders_to_your_funeral at 6:24 AM on May 21, 2005

In Minneapolis it's called art.
posted by gimonca at 7:38 AM on May 21, 2005

« Older Another damn StarWars link   |   Brits in Iraq Newer »

This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments