there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global warming
June 23, 2005 11:09 AM Subscribe
The pirate-Global Warming graph was a winner. Less pirates=more global warming - Who'dda thunk it ?
I also really liked the "flying spaghetti monster" drawing at the end of the letter.
posted by troutfishing at 11:18 AM on June 23, 2005
I also really liked the "flying spaghetti monster" drawing at the end of the letter.
posted by troutfishing at 11:18 AM on June 23, 2005
I don't believe that Intelligent Design and the theory that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster are actually at odds with one another. The Flying Spaghetti Monster could be considered the "intelligence" in Intelligent Design.
posted by boymilo at 11:30 AM on June 23, 2005
posted by boymilo at 11:30 AM on June 23, 2005
Wait, what if the law relating the number of existing pirates to global average temperature uses the number of pirates as a coefficient multiplying the denominator? If pirates go extinct, a temperature singularity will occur! There were only 17 pirates left in the year 2000, the end times are nigh!
posted by Derive the Hamiltonian of... at 11:41 AM on June 23, 2005
posted by Derive the Hamiltonian of... at 11:41 AM on June 23, 2005
Hehe, thanks for the Hertzfeldt, Capn.
...Capn?
PIRATE!
posted by sciurus at 11:43 AM on June 23, 2005
...Capn?
PIRATE!
posted by sciurus at 11:43 AM on June 23, 2005
I'd just like to point out that there are still tons of very real, very scary pirates around, especially in southeast asia, so it stands to reason that global climate change is not an incontrovertable fact and further study is needed.
posted by mai at 11:54 AM on June 23, 2005
posted by mai at 11:54 AM on June 23, 2005
It's "speak like a pirate" day that's keeping this planet from going up in... well, from going straight to hell.
The ID people are such suckers. They'll be in court so fast over teaching that Lucifer created the earth it will make their bibles spin.
posted by ewkpates at 11:57 AM on June 23, 2005
The ID people are such suckers. They'll be in court so fast over teaching that Lucifer created the earth it will make their bibles spin.
posted by ewkpates at 11:57 AM on June 23, 2005
Arrrrr, I be sailin' the 7 CFC's
ok, I'm sorry everybody, sciurus made me do it
posted by Capn at 12:11 PM on June 23, 2005
ok, I'm sorry everybody, sciurus made me do it
posted by Capn at 12:11 PM on June 23, 2005
You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. For your interest, I have included a graph of the approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the last 200 years.
Actualy, the number of pirate attacks has gone up, not down lately, There must be thousands boating around these days.
I wonder what the actual (sea) piracy rate is these days compared to the 1800s...
posted by delmoi at 12:28 PM on June 23, 2005
Actualy, the number of pirate attacks has gone up, not down lately, There must be thousands boating around these days.
I wonder what the actual (sea) piracy rate is these days compared to the 1800s...
posted by delmoi at 12:28 PM on June 23, 2005
On one appendage, I'm glad to finally be recognized, but on the other... oh, forget it!
posted by Flying Spaghetti Monster at 12:53 PM on June 23, 2005
posted by Flying Spaghetti Monster at 12:53 PM on June 23, 2005
Arrrrr, I be sailin' the 7 CFC'sGOLD! (And no, not pirate gold... comedy gold!)
posted by antifuse at 1:07 PM on June 23, 2005
I knew it! The MPAA will destroy us all!
posted by The Bellman at 1:23 PM on June 23, 2005
posted by The Bellman at 1:23 PM on June 23, 2005
As the theory of evolution pioneered by Charles Darwin comes under assault in communities from Kansas to Pennsylvania to Georgia, Miller carries a message that plays especially well here: Faith, even fundamental Christian faith, is not at odds with Darwin.
It was obvious that both the general theory of evolution and its extension to man in particular must meet from the first with the most determined resistance on the part of the Churches. Both were in flagrant contradiction to the Mosaic story of creation, and other Biblical dogmas that were involved in it, and are still taught in our elementary schools. It is creditable to the shrewdness of the theologians and their associates, the metaphysicians, that they at once rejected Darwinism, and made a particularly energetic resistance in their writings to its chief consequence, the descent of man from ape. ~ Ernst Haeckel
A widespread theological view now exists saying that God started off the world, props it up and works through laws of nature, very subtly, so subtly that its action is undetectable. But that kind of God is effectively no different to my mind than atheism. To anyone who adopts this view I say, ‘Great, we’re in the same camp; now where do we get our morals if the universe just goes grinding on as it does?’ This kind of God does nothing outside of the laws of nature, gives us no immortality, no foundation for morals, or any of the things that we want from a God and from religion. ~ William Provine
I have lately read Morley's Life of Voltaire and he insists strongly that direct attacks on Christianity (even when written with the wonderful force and vigor of Voltaire) produce little permanent effect: real good seems only to follow the slow and silent side attacks. ~ Charles Darwin
posted by bevets at 7:32 PM on June 23, 2005
It was obvious that both the general theory of evolution and its extension to man in particular must meet from the first with the most determined resistance on the part of the Churches. Both were in flagrant contradiction to the Mosaic story of creation, and other Biblical dogmas that were involved in it, and are still taught in our elementary schools. It is creditable to the shrewdness of the theologians and their associates, the metaphysicians, that they at once rejected Darwinism, and made a particularly energetic resistance in their writings to its chief consequence, the descent of man from ape. ~ Ernst Haeckel
A widespread theological view now exists saying that God started off the world, props it up and works through laws of nature, very subtly, so subtly that its action is undetectable. But that kind of God is effectively no different to my mind than atheism. To anyone who adopts this view I say, ‘Great, we’re in the same camp; now where do we get our morals if the universe just goes grinding on as it does?’ This kind of God does nothing outside of the laws of nature, gives us no immortality, no foundation for morals, or any of the things that we want from a God and from religion. ~ William Provine
I have lately read Morley's Life of Voltaire and he insists strongly that direct attacks on Christianity (even when written with the wonderful force and vigor of Voltaire) produce little permanent effect: real good seems only to follow the slow and silent side attacks. ~ Charles Darwin
posted by bevets at 7:32 PM on June 23, 2005
One of my favorite scientists, the late Stephen Jay Gould, took part in the discussions of evolution vs creationism. "Gould wrote that science had "nothing to fear from the vast majority of fundamentalists who, like many citizens of Dayton, live by a doctrine that is legitimately indigenous to their area. Rather, we must combat the few yahoos who exploit the fruits of poor education for ready cash and larger political ends.”
posted by nickyskye at 11:42 PM on June 23, 2005
posted by nickyskye at 11:42 PM on June 23, 2005
The author fails to represent the damaging effects of Zombie-class citizens in our society.
Or Ninjas.
posted by thanotopsis at 12:21 AM on June 24, 2005
Or Ninjas.
posted by thanotopsis at 12:21 AM on June 24, 2005
Wow, bevets posts are so much better when he just quotes other people!
Also, this is amusing. I especially like the way the 'number of pirates' scale is clumsily fudged to reverse two data points - nice touch.
posted by dickasso at 1:00 AM on June 24, 2005
Also, this is amusing. I especially like the way the 'number of pirates' scale is clumsily fudged to reverse two data points - nice touch.
posted by dickasso at 1:00 AM on June 24, 2005
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posted by analogue at 11:12 AM on June 23, 2005