November 20, 2000
11:33 PM   Subscribe

I see the Good Doctor is back on form--following his own Old Testament prophet tip. Thank Fudd there's little mention of sports.
posted by aflakete (2 comments total)
Maybe its just me but he seemed spot on. As usual.
posted by black8 at 12:20 AM on November 21, 2000

I've suspected the ESPN thing was a Ruse all along. A way for him to lay low, camaflouged in the belly of the beast. These are not good days for doomshouting holy men, standing naked on deserted mountaintops and raging against the night, a revolver in one hand and a bottle of cheap whiskey in the other. No siree. Been a long time since he and his ragtag band of headcases nearly pulled off an Aspen Freak Power coup de tat. Most of his ilk have died of old age or succumbed to their own excesses. The rest have been hunted down and imprisoned or shot like slobbering dogs.

So what, then, is an aging iconoclast to do? I can picture him, on a crazy, mescaline tinged night a few months ago. Racking his brain, seeking a way to re-invent himself, to generate enough dough so sustain his Herculean habits, and to finally appear to slip quietly beneath the radar, and into his dotage. The film based on his novel, with its winking style, period music, and low comedy, had done him the favor of making him out to be a harmless old relic. The equivilant of the "Don't eat the Brown Acid" catchprase. Something that may once have been mean and crazy and dangerous, but now, viewed through nostalgic eyes, was but a defanged reminder of a simpler time.

That's when inspiration struck. "Sportswriting!" he screamed. "I've got the name. I might as well use it. I'll bet I can get those swine at AOLDisneyCNNTimeWarnerViacomSony, Inc. to pony up a princely sum in the interest of appearing to have tamed the once mighty Doctor. I'll sink into the muck of this infernal corporate cesspool. I'll hide from them by spitting in their faces, and they will lick it up and beg for more, chuckling at the old man's rantings, if they read them at all. Yes, it's been a long time since that wave broke, and rolled back to reveal the high water mark of America's youthful idealism, leaving behind a beach strewn with dashed hopes and strung out potential. A long time indeed. But the tide's coming in again. I can sense it there, just beyond the horizon. And this time, when the shit hits the fan, the kids are gonna be smarter. They'll have used this internet to get their collective shit together, and the pigs will no longer be able to divide them and smother them with their own sense of hopelessness.

" And", The Doctor smiled, biting down thoughtfully on his cigarette holder, "they will need a leader."
posted by Optamystic at 12:38 AM on November 21, 2000

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