Have at, you rapscalion!
August 26, 2005 4:13 PM   Subscribe

The Outbursts of Everett True is a collection of cartoons from 1906. Each one is identical, two panels arranged vertically, and in each one, the top panel shows a large gentleman being accosted by boors of various sorts (boring people, indecisive people, people who want him to give them money, etc) and in the bottom panel it shows him issuing the offenders a vigorous beating. It's fantastic for both the language of archaic anger ("The bumps for you, and all of your kind!") and the subject matter ("why doesn't he have a telephone of his own??") that drives the protagonist to violence. via
posted by jonson (29 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
I'm glad I didn't live in 1906 when just trying to say hello to fat, angry, cigar-chomping jerks could get your butt kicked.

Is this guy Ed Anger's great grandfather or just his spiritual guide? (warning, link is to an over the top piece about lowering the legal age of execution to 6, yes, he wants to legally execute six year olds).
posted by fenriq at 4:35 PM on August 26, 2005

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I know what I'm using for Christmas cards this year.
posted by piers at 4:51 PM on August 26, 2005

Get a load of that ankle!
posted by Katemonkey at 4:52 PM on August 26, 2005

Yeah, his INSANE over the top reactions are my favorite element. Then again, there's just so much to like about this, from the crazy racist illustrations to the spousal abuse, to the weird double standard (He hates people who abuse horses, but chucks a dog out a moving train window).
posted by jonson at 4:53 PM on August 26, 2005

I liked him at first, when he was basically just beating the people who were being self-centered in public. But then he goes too far.
posted by Mayor Curley at 5:41 PM on August 26, 2005

They'll Do It Every Time!
posted by JHarris at 5:45 PM on August 26, 2005

Metafilter: You're not the only man at this fountain!
posted by null terminated at 5:53 PM on August 26, 2005

Whassa "thimble rigger"? He uses it at least twice...
posted by klangklangston at 5:56 PM on August 26, 2005

Oh my god! I had this idea for a superhero called Captain Courtesy who would fly around and beat the shit out of line-cutters and people who talk in theaters on their cell phone... truly, there is nothing new under the sun.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 6:10 PM on August 26, 2005

Mrs True.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 6:12 PM on August 26, 2005

A thimble rigger is the guy running the original "three card monty" set up where a pea is placed underneath one of three thimbles and suckers pay $$$ to guess which thimble the pea is under. The game is always rigged, hence "thimble rigger".
posted by Justinian at 6:12 PM on August 26, 2005

posted by Civil_Disobedient at 6:25 PM on August 26, 2005

I thought it interesting that the bystanders always look pleased/amused. Also, he doesn't beat the shit out of old folks. The writer had to toe a fine line.

I imagine a present-day version would involve a lot of smashed computers.
posted by Aknaton at 6:34 PM on August 26, 2005

Oh for the love of Pete, it was faster to suck the image URLs onto one page than to click through them all. Funny though!
posted by nicwolff at 6:41 PM on August 26, 2005

It's sort of amazing how little the small anoyances of urban life have changed in a hundred years. Many of these are things that have happened to me within the last year: people blocking the bus exit, people taking up two bus seats, shop clerks talking instead of waiting on you, people blocking the sidewalk, people talking in the theater, etc. But, I've never beat anyone silly with my umbrella over these things. It sort of puts a lie to the concept that conservatives keep peddling that we have gotten less polite as a society.
posted by octothorpe at 6:59 PM on August 26, 2005

Well, it's not as though people really did beat the living hell out of each other for these transgressions back then, either. But I think that most people secretly would like to see these social irritants get their comeuppance, and what better way to have that happen than a sound lumping at the hands of a comically fat man?
posted by jenovus at 7:37 PM on August 26, 2005

An armed society is a polite society!
posted by decklin at 7:44 PM on August 26, 2005

Milk and Cheese have covered this ground recently. I appreciate the cartharsis, even though it is cheap. I only wish I had as little patience dealing with ineptitude.
posted by mollweide at 7:52 PM on August 26, 2005

Yeah Anknaton, I noticed that too. The purpose, obviously, is to present the guy's violence as something positive, something that the reader should agree with. A form of peer pressure.

It's kind of insidious. Imagine what the effect would be if, instead, the onlookers reacted in horror.
posted by JHarris at 8:01 PM on August 26, 2005

Oh, yes.
posted by George_Spiggott at 8:34 PM on August 26, 2005

posted by pyramid termite at 9:48 PM on August 26, 2005

"...I'll get real angry and perform a few surgical operations that'll make this place look like a sausage factory!"

Hmmm...pretty racy for a century ago. Or is that my modern one-track mind acting up?
posted by umberto at 10:10 PM on August 26, 2005

Plus, "I'll see if I can club some civility into your head!" may become my new personal catchphrase. It's so well-intentioned, and yet deeply flawed. Like Homeland Security.
posted by umberto at 10:19 PM on August 26, 2005

"You loud-mouthed brat, you! If you were a man I'd pull out a few sections of your backbone and then run a touring car over you!!!!"

How I've longed to say these words to some of the neighborhood tots.....
BTW, awesome post, jonson. I wonder if Tony Millionaire was influenced by these.
posted by maryh at 11:47 PM on August 26, 2005

Thanks, maryh; the compliment is appreciated considering you're responsible for one of my favorite posts of the past year! Although, to tell the truth, I do feel bad cribbing from boingboing (I figure 99% of the Metafilter audience will have seen it there already), when I love something as much as I loved this, I figure it'd be worth posting for the 1% who don't go to boingboing or any of the other sites this has been/will be linked on.
posted by jonson at 1:25 AM on August 27, 2005

Next on Fox, When Lawrence Tierney Attacks!

I had a similar thought, maryh. I too wondered whether Mr. Millionaire might have had a look at these at some point.
posted by MrBadExample at 8:43 AM on August 27, 2005

Thanks jonson! And about boingboing - I consider myself a fairly regular reader, and I still manage to miss about 2/3rds of the posts there. There's just too much stuff to read and too little time, so no need for apologies. (Thanks to nicwolff for the page drop, too.)
posted by maryh at 12:02 PM on August 27, 2005

I think my favourite of the lot is the one where Everett attacks a songwriter with some kind of sonic blast.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 4:55 PM on August 28, 2005

Good post. The vitriol is great, but I don't like reading too many at once.
posted by OmieWise at 9:59 AM on August 29, 2005

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