racist, sexist and thoroughly entertaining
September 22, 2005 1:43 AM   Subscribe

The 16mm Shrine writes about movies. "The fact that there’s any talent in Brazil not devoted to kidnapping schemes and making curare poison out of small frogs, let alone the kind it takes to make an epic like Meirelles’ breakout film, City of God, is astounding ... [With The Constant Gardener,] I hoped Meirelles might be able to inject some excitement into material that probably had an initial interest level hovering somewhere between televised Canadian parliamentary proceedings and rough notes for a thesis project on religious atavism in Norway. ... Weisz is an activist, which means she’s easy and doesn’t shave her legs, and gets very upset if you notice. She also becomes immediately attached to the African children surrounding her in that particular stage of starvation and illness that makes their eyes big and their stomachs small enough that they still look small and pitiful, but not yet weird enough that they could pass for shark-toothed baby Grays from The X-Files. She gets involved in a conspiracy and soon ends up dead, leaving Fiennes to pick up the pieces and grow a backbone."
posted by Marquis (24 comments total)
 
Thanks, but I don't care for reviews that reveal the plots of movies I'm hoping to see. I like it even less when the plot is revealed on the front page of MeFi.
posted by cali at 1:52 AM on September 22, 2005


I apologise if it damaged you, but the spoilers in this post are not exactly end-of-movie giveaways. Heck, Roger Ebert says more within the very first paragraph of his review.
posted by Marquis at 2:01 AM on September 22, 2005


Well, I just don't care for this review!
posted by jimmy at 2:12 AM on September 22, 2005


From the review of Breaking News: Director Johnny To follows the Takeshi Miike school of filmmaking, which involves making a film roughly every ten minutes, and while he’s not quite as popular over here as Miike, he’s certainly the more talented of the two.

Definitely, the amount and quality of Johnny To's output astounds me, I'm disappointed he hasn't received the praise he deserves outside of China. I'm bookmarking this site.
posted by bobo123 at 2:13 AM on September 22, 2005


um... the constant gardener quote doesn't reveal anything that the shortest version of the commercial for the movie doesn't also reveal, except for the bit about unshaven legs.
posted by shmegegge at 2:31 AM on September 22, 2005


unfortunately, this seems to be the kind of thing that makes me laugh even though i shouldn't. If only he used his powers for good.
posted by shmegegge at 2:38 AM on September 22, 2005


If you like snarky, cheeky movie reviews, you might also appreciate MaryAnn Johanson's Flick Filosopher site.
posted by alumshubby at 4:44 AM on September 22, 2005


I like the racist overtones of the review.
posted by melt away at 5:25 AM on September 22, 2005


My how snarkerrific. I hope this guy dies.
posted by fungible at 5:46 AM on September 22, 2005


Johnny To is the awesome. Also this site sucks. So by association this guy also sucks. I say we talk about how great Johnny To is for the rest of this thread. The Mission? That was amazing.
posted by chunking express at 6:07 AM on September 22, 2005


The Constant Gardener's okay, but it didn't change my life. Anyone read the book?
posted by runkelfinker at 6:46 AM on September 22, 2005


The book was great, but really depressing.
posted by Marquis at 6:58 AM on September 22, 2005


The fact that there’s any talent in Brazil not devoted to kidnapping schemes and making curare poison out of small frogs ... is astounding,

Moron.
posted by signal at 6:59 AM on September 22, 2005


Meirelles uses the same sort of third world aesthetic we’re used to seeing from Latin America, where they can afford neither tripods nor color film, so everything looks like home video footage of a car chase that’s been hand colored with tempra paint.

Double moron, and an ignorant one at that.
posted by signal at 7:02 AM on September 22, 2005


fungible writes "My how snarkerrific. I hope this guy dies."

Science indicates there's a pretty much 100% chance of that.
Unless you mean dies soon, in which case the odds are a lot less clear.
posted by Bugbread at 7:20 AM on September 22, 2005


Mmm, racist tripe to go along with my morning coffee. Super.
posted by Jupiter Jones at 7:35 AM on September 22, 2005


Oh sweet Jesus, somebody teach this guy the value of paragraphs.
posted by Edible Energy at 7:36 AM on September 22, 2005


I apologise if it damaged you,

Ah yes, the disparaging apology. What a gracious human being you are.
posted by George_Spiggott at 7:56 AM on September 22, 2005


Man, what is the deal with these massive FPPs we're getting all the time now?

Here's a hint: You don't have to quote the whole thing.
Meirelles uses the same sort of third world aesthetic we’re used to seeing from Latin America, where they can afford neither tripods nor color film, so everything looks like home video footage of a car chase that’s been hand colored with tempra paint.
Yet, City of God's production value really surprised me. It definitely had a high-budget aesthetic (including matrix-style rotating stills)

Moran.
posted by delmoi at 8:00 AM on September 22, 2005


An examination, exploration, and celebration of what drives society to create things like Rocky and expect us to watch them. God, I hate movies. And now you will too.

Just what I want to read: reviews of films by a person who hates films.
posted by NationalKato at 8:44 AM on September 22, 2005


NationalKato writes "Just what I want to read: reviews of films by a person who hates films."

While this review site isn't, apparently, the one for me, I'd like to echo your sentiments, minus sarcasm: what I want to read are reviews of films by a person who hates films. People who like films tend to praise far too much.
posted by Bugbread at 10:31 AM on September 22, 2005


How about "reviews of Brazilian films by people who hate Brazil."
posted by iamck at 11:39 AM on September 22, 2005


It's much easier to write a bad review than a good review, which is why it's even worse that this guy can't even really write these bad reviews.
posted by Sticherbeast at 12:27 PM on September 22, 2005


Feh. Someone else passing their self-involved ramblings as movie reviews.
posted by wobh at 10:01 PM on September 22, 2005


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