Bling Bling Barbie
October 6, 2005 9:00 PM   Subscribe

Bling Bling Barbie.
posted by swift (45 comments total)
Perhaps better described as Barbie Ho
posted by edgeways at 9:09 PM on October 6, 2005

Wow. Who did her makeup? Seriously, it's Bratz Barbie.
posted by ColdChef at 9:16 PM on October 6, 2005

Oh yeah, best of the web alright...
posted by nightchrome at 9:20 PM on October 6, 2005

Not just best of the web! Best of anything ever!!!! Beeeeatch.
posted by fungible at 9:21 PM on October 6, 2005

Wherez my money B?

Is Ken gonna have to choke-a-barbie!!?
posted by somnambulist at 9:21 PM on October 6, 2005

My love stays with Turleen
posted by Peter H at 9:25 PM on October 6, 2005

Wow, what an ugly skank ho.

I feel sorry for you kids, having to live in the future when all those girls grow up to look like that implanted image.
posted by HTuttle at 9:28 PM on October 6, 2005

Wait, where is her hard drive?
posted by delmoi at 9:33 PM on October 6, 2005

Last fall I worked overnight stocking the shelves at target. The toy section was really intresting, because I got to see what all the kids were into.

Bratz were very popular. The "my scene" barbie dolls are meant to compete with them.
posted by delmoi at 9:35 PM on October 6, 2005

Wait, where is her hard drive?

Right here!
posted by Robot Johnny at 9:35 PM on October 6, 2005

Crap... I mean right here!
posted by Robot Johnny at 9:36 PM on October 6, 2005

posted by flagellum at 9:50 PM on October 6, 2005


It's almost as if Mattell was watching South Park, saw the "Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset" episode and said "Hey! That's a good idea!"

I despair for the future, etc.
posted by nmiell at 10:15 PM on October 6, 2005

oh wow. Now that's just special.
posted by nickerbocker at 10:21 PM on October 6, 2005

I'd prefer Feral Cheryl.
posted by andraste at 10:24 PM on October 6, 2005

andraste, somehow I just read the phrase "Doofn Til Dawn for Feral Cheryl" on that site. My eyes hurt.
posted by allen.spaulding at 10:38 PM on October 6, 2005

Just woke up to realise that a single link to a Barbie doll at just became best of the web. I think I shall go back to sleep.
posted by keijo at 11:00 PM on October 6, 2005

As a related aside, is 8 single link posts in a day a new record? Just curious...
posted by numlok at 11:13 PM on October 6, 2005

> My love stays with Turleen

Britney should demand her royalties immediately. Turleen indeed...
posted by PeterMcDermott at 11:17 PM on October 6, 2005

I blame Paris Hilton.

(although the head to body ratio of this doll more closely resembles Nicole.)
posted by maryh at 11:30 PM on October 6, 2005

The next person to use the tern "best of the web" for any reason whatsoever gets hit upside the head with a Barbie-Ho, with plenty of bling.
posted by signal at 12:18 AM on October 7, 2005

I blame Paris Hilton
posted by doogyrev at 12:43 AM on October 7, 2005

a-ha ! a circular link to above
posted by doogyrev at 12:47 AM on October 7, 2005

I pray to God that all the parents out there are actually parenting and keeping this crap out of their daughters' hands.
posted by darren at 4:10 AM on October 7, 2005

posted by moonbird at 4:18 AM on October 7, 2005

"Whatever , Harvey." for those in the know, best Zellers commercial ever!
posted by furtive at 4:28 AM on October 7, 2005

So that is why we created "OMG" and "WTF." Makes perfect sense, now.

Meanwhile, our descent to hell is acellerating. Please fasten your seatbelts and return your souls to the full upright and locked position.
posted by eriko at 5:39 AM on October 7, 2005

God, and only Somnibulist came up with a decent snark. This is a shitty post.
posted by klangklangston at 5:59 AM on October 7, 2005

I'm all for raising kids to have a healthy view of sex but what the hell sort of parent buys their kid a toy slut?
posted by bondcliff at 6:39 AM on October 7, 2005

Instead of kung-fu grip, the new GI Joe is going to come with Pimp-slap action.

Why does Feral Cheryl give into the social construct of the sumbissive female by shaving? Sellout.
posted by Pollomacho at 6:42 AM on October 7, 2005

"Bling bling bling" went the Barbie...
"Ka-ching ching ching" went Mattell
posted by papercake at 6:55 AM on October 7, 2005

lol - problem is my 6 year old thinks this look is cool

it can be cool

but not on a 6 year old :(
posted by room at 7:29 AM on October 7, 2005

Where are the Andy Rooney links?

"You know what I hate about Barbie? The way she spends our tax money on invading Iraq. And how she puts cotton in aspirin bottles."
posted by GuyZero at 8:44 AM on October 7, 2005

posted by NewBornHippy at 9:00 AM on October 7, 2005

Does Skipper come with track marks?
posted by LittleMissCranky at 9:08 AM on October 7, 2005

Ooh, wait -- how did they get that USB drive into the doll's body? Because I am so totally making one.
posted by LittleMissCranky at 9:10 AM on October 7, 2005

Feral Cheryl is modelled on the green extremists(...)This 34 cm vinyl doll runs barefoot, dreadlocks her hair with coloured braids and beads, wears simple rainbow clothes, has piercings and a range of tattoos, and even a bit of natural body hair.

I didn't see a mustache or any underarm Does that mean what I think it means? She's got pubic hair?
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 9:31 AM on October 7, 2005

What delmoi said, I happened upon the 'Bratz' toy line a year or two ago and was just sort of generation-gap shocked as to what constituted dolls these days. To continue my utter amazement, apparently Bratz has continued to succeed at an astonishing rate. Girls with thick makeup, materialistic goals (ok.. so Barbie is materialistic too..ahem), and questionable clothing are a big hit with children through this line.

So Mattel, after trying to play the upper hand, has decided to join the fray and impersonate. Shameful, dumb, but hey, the toy maker executives have to get their bonuses!

on preview: Oh if I have a little girl, oh, oh dear. The authoritarian hell I'm going to put on that girl through in the name of proper parenting.
posted by cavalier at 9:34 AM on October 7, 2005

WTF? And I thought the Bratz! were bad. Sheesh!

I'm so glad I don't have any girl-children for other people to buy for. (My daughter is a teenager now. So I have other problems.) (eriko, if you get her one, it better come with a rocket engine....)
posted by jlkr at 10:00 AM on October 7, 2005

I prefer badonkadonk Barbie
posted by Smedleyman at 10:23 AM on October 7, 2005

What, forty-one comments and no "This Barbie, it vibrates?"

Come on!
posted by thewittyname at 10:45 AM on October 7, 2005

I'm never having kids.
posted by Kimberly at 2:37 PM on October 7, 2005

Kimberly : "I'm never having kids."

And the doctor telling us it last week that it's a boy is just becoming better news all the time.
posted by Bugbread at 4:23 PM on October 7, 2005

Kinda remind me of this. Barbie in a dominatrix outfit (with whip): Recomended age 6+.
posted by indifferent at 5:07 PM on October 7, 2005

"My Bling Bling Barbie” is, her makers say, modelled on what the celebrities are wearing, complete with big earrings, necklaces, bracelets and “shirt skirts”. The more “grown-up” look, aimed at children aged between seven and ten, was on show yesterday in a church in West London, where the Toy Retailers Association also announced its predicted bestsellers for this Christmas. With more than £1 billion spent on presents by Christmas shoppers, manufacturers were at pains to depict their toys as the latest thing.

MBBB was introduced in England at a church? God isn't dead, I guess, he's working for Mattel!
posted by Carol Anne at 11:08 AM on October 8, 2005

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