# Crab vs. PipeNovember 2, 2005 11:58 AM   Subscribe

Holy Crab! We're several thousand feet down, where the pressure is about 3300 psi. The pressure inside that pipe? About zero. The crab? A goner.
posted by lunalaguna (79 comments total)

You must have hated that crab.
posted by Divine_Wino at 12:07 PM on November 2, 2005

he never saw it coming.
posted by gallois at 12:10 PM on November 2, 2005

He hates these crabs! Stay away from these crabs!
posted by bobot at 12:10 PM on November 2, 2005

I know we did this in 2003. There were spinoffs and everything.
posted by 2sheets at 12:12 PM on November 2, 2005

That's pretty high on my list of Ways I Don't Want To Go.
posted by Cyrano at 12:13 PM on November 2, 2005

I want to see what the crab-goo ended up looking like.
posted by joegester at 12:14 PM on November 2, 2005

Yup we did this already a couple years ago. Next up: the guy who gets sucked into the jet engine.
posted by lester at 12:19 PM on November 2, 2005

Is it wrong of me that I am immediately thinking of Total Recall?
posted by cavalier at 12:20 PM on November 2, 2005

I think it's closer to what happens to the mutant alien in the last Alien movie, but Total Recall is good too.
posted by tiamat at 12:21 PM on November 2, 2005

Reminds me of a scene in a Stephen King story called The Raft.

A bunch of college kids swim out to a raft in the middle of a lake, and one of them gets sucked between the slats by some sort of hungry beastie living in the water. I read the story over 10 years ago and that thinking of that scene still gives me a visceral response. Ick.
posted by tentacle at 12:23 PM on November 2, 2005

Neat, but I have a couple of questions (and forgive me if they're grade nine science-level...I'm an ignorant arts student):

a) The pipe is underwater, where the pressure is 3300 psi. There is a hole being cut into the pipe. Wouldn't water rush into the hole and equalize the pressure?

posted by you just lost the game at 12:24 PM on November 2, 2005

A)

Yes water would rush in, but it takes an amount of time for that pressure to equalize. The hole had just been cut thus the crab was sucked in while it was equalizing. bad timing on his part.

B)

Because it's a robotic arm and saw, the operator needs to have some way to see what's happening which isn't possible often since they control these robots from the surface.
posted by Parannoyed at 12:29 PM on November 2, 2005

Water is rushing into the hole. That's why the crab got sucked in. I'm guessing the water hasn't filled the pipe either because the hole is newly made, or because there's a whole bunch of volume to fill.
posted by flod at 12:30 PM on November 2, 2005

Thanks, Parannoyed!
posted by you just lost the game at 12:31 PM on November 2, 2005

a) I guess the pipe hadn't filled with water yet. Looks like the crab happened to come along just after the robot had made only a small incision.

b) Obviously the whole thing is probably remote-controlled via a video-link. Maybe tapes help the engineers later on, since they can't very well go and inspect the work.
posted by swift at 12:32 PM on November 2, 2005

I'm thinking the poor little guy didn't *just* get sucked in, but buzzsaw played a big part in it.
posted by RockCorpse at 12:32 PM on November 2, 2005

What parannoyed said.
posted by swift at 12:33 PM on November 2, 2005

posted by CynicalKnight at 12:36 PM on November 2, 2005

That was sick to watch. Imagine if that were you.
posted by Dean Keaton at 12:36 PM on November 2, 2005

Crab vs. Pipe meet Lobster vs. Magnet
posted by ursus_comiter at 12:41 PM on November 2, 2005

Oh, that crab!

Schlep!
posted by CynicalKnight at 12:44 PM on November 2, 2005

A visual representation for the manner in which Metafilter extracts our free time.
posted by craniac at 12:46 PM on November 2, 2005

Yeah that Lobster vs. Magnet tune is some of The Captain and Tenille's best early work, but are lobsters really magnetized? And if so, why do just drag magnets along the seafloor and do away with all that teduious lifting and setting traps?
posted by Keith Talent at 12:50 PM on November 2, 2005

teh crab vs teh pipe
pipe always wins

saw just watches
posted by jmccorm at 12:52 PM on November 2, 2005

Holy crip he's a crabble!
posted by The Bellman at 12:53 PM on November 2, 2005

I'm sure the saw was making some noticeable noise and vibration; I'm surprised the crab came that close to it while it was operating.
posted by alumshubby at 12:57 PM on November 2, 2005

Its the new Ronco Crabulizer! Instant crab goo but cleanup's a bitch!

That was good stuff. Bad timing on the crab's part but that's often how the best videos happen!
posted by fenriq at 12:58 PM on November 2, 2005

His only crime was being born delicious!
posted by gigawhat? at 1:01 PM on November 2, 2005

everything old is new again.
posted by crunchland at 1:04 PM on November 2, 2005

The crab lives on as static on intercontinental phone calls.
posted by StickyCarpet at 1:51 PM on November 2, 2005

"In the days of diving suits--the sort that were connected to the surface by long hoses--divers sometimes experienced a dreaded phenomenon known as "the squeeze." This occurred when the surface pumps failed . . . the air would leave the suit with such violence that the hapless diver would be, all too literally, sucked up into the helmet and hosepipe. When hauled to the surface, "all that is left in the suir are his bones and some rags of flesh."

- Bill Bryson _A Short History of Nearly Everything_ p241
posted by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 1:55 PM on November 2, 2005

Yeah, I'm totally behind dreading that.
Totally completely.
Owch, and eeuurgh.
posted by Zack_Replica at 2:00 PM on November 2, 2005

That sucks. Or rather, water pressure blows.
posted by Eideteker at 2:10 PM on November 2, 2005

kingfisher - that's sick. Interesting, but sick.
posted by raedyn at 2:14 PM on November 2, 2005

I'm sure the saw was making some noticeable noise and vibration; I'm surprised the crab came that close to it while it was operating.

Maybe he wanted to be friends.
posted by brundlefly at 2:28 PM on November 2, 2005

That Lobster vs. Magnet video is completely retarded, but I like it.
posted by Skygazer at 2:30 PM on November 2, 2005

Special of the Day: Crab Salad
posted by Cranberry at 2:30 PM on November 2, 2005

Just noticing the timing of this, that crab came along at the most inopportune time possible. It seems that the incision had just breached the pipe at the time the crab jerks towards the pipe. Otherwise, the crab would likely have been drawn towards the pipe from further off, possibly giving more time for equalizing pressure.

Still, 1.3 tons per square inch, I'm just amazed the crab's shell held on as long as it did.
posted by Saydur at 2:46 PM on November 2, 2005

Do crabs feel pain? My first guess would be yes, but has their been a study on it?
posted by Citizen Premier at 2:54 PM on November 2, 2005

mmmmmmmmm i see a sea snail over there looks good gonna wander over and get some food to eat hey whats this thing over hereWHOOOOOOOOSH
posted by brain_drain at 2:57 PM on November 2, 2005

So this is how we can get a rich man into heaven?
posted by orthogonality at 3:11 PM on November 2, 2005

who took teh crab! i will find teh crab!
posted by luriete at 3:11 PM on November 2, 2005

Once again:
Coral cache does not automatically cache embedded media files. You have to link to a Coralized URL for the video file itself. Linking to the HTML file is pointless. If you're trying to save a site's bandwidth, do it right.
posted by dhartung at 3:17 PM on November 2, 2005

Mmm. Spread some Depressurized Crab Goo on a bagel and you've got a quick and easy brunch.

I'm wishing now for a t-shirt with a picture of the crab caught halfway in the pipe with a large caption underneath that says "Imagine if it were you".

Poor crab :'(
posted by kryptondog at 3:18 PM on November 2, 2005

That poor little guy.
posted by interrobang at 3:19 PM on November 2, 2005

That is one hell of a vacuum.
posted by caddis at 3:32 PM on November 2, 2005

Reminds me of a scene in a Stephen King story called The Raft.

Wasn't that in Creepshow (the first one)?
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 3:33 PM on November 2, 2005

ahh teh crab. circa 10 billion years ago on the webternet.
posted by Spoon at 3:39 PM on November 2, 2005

Isn't this video years old? What are y'all on about?
posted by puke & cry at 3:52 PM on November 2, 2005 [1 favorite]

No, it was in Creepshow, the 2nd one.
posted by jonson at 3:58 PM on November 2, 2005

Oh yeah, that's right. And he even gets writing credits.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 4:03 PM on November 2, 2005

We were discussing this with a marine biologist here on campus. He said that it seemed pretty clear that the first "puff" is the actual crab flesh sucking right out of the shell; the shell crumples inward later, after appearing to stand for a moment.

And on the other end of that pipe, someone's getting one very, very, very fresh crabcake.
posted by trigonometry at 4:28 PM on November 2, 2005

you just lost the game: "Neat, but I have a couple of questions (and forgive me if they're grade nine science-level...I'm an ignorant arts student)"

You missed the most important question: ZERO PSI?
posted by Plutor at 5:07 PM on November 2, 2005

Holy crab!
posted by jaronson at 5:17 PM on November 2, 2005

OK, uh...I'm an idiot.
posted by jaronson at 5:22 PM on November 2, 2005

.
posted by JHarris at 5:38 PM on November 2, 2005

I think this video has been floating around the net for years...
posted by shanevsevil at 5:48 PM on November 2, 2005

I think this video has been floating around the net for years...
posted by shanevsevil at 8:48 PM EST on November 2 [!]

posted by caddis at 6:06 PM on November 2, 2005

It sucks.
posted by gorgor_balabala at 6:14 PM on November 2, 2005

This reminds me of what happens to my time when im reading metafilter.

Just happily browsing along minding my own business when....*whamo*! One wrong click and my productivity for the afternoon is crab paste.
posted by rawfishy at 6:24 PM on November 2, 2005

I think this video has been floating around the net for years...

i'm not sure i'd describe that as floating ... perhaps sucking

wouldn't the imploding crabs be a great name for an indie band?
posted by pyramid termite at 6:38 PM on November 2, 2005

So this is how we can get a rich man into heaven?

For shame! That's crab warfare.

I'm here all week. Try the crab cakes.
posted by homunculus at 7:24 PM on November 2, 2005

"In the days of diving suits--the sort that were connected to the surface by long hoses--divers sometimes experienced a dreaded phenomenon known as "the squeeze." This occurred when the surface pumps failed . . . the air would leave the suit with such violence that the hapless diver would be, all too literally, sucked up into the helmet and hosepipe. When hauled to the surface, "all that is left in the suir are his bones and some rags of flesh."

- Bill Bryson _A Short History of Nearly Everything_ p241

I think that got left out of the audio book. Curse you, audiobook!
posted by craniac at 7:25 PM on November 2, 2005

You missed the most important question: ZERO PSI?

What's the question? I'm betting you think zero PSI is not possible because it's a perfect vacuum. What they probably meant was zero PSIG, or "PSI Gauge". It's referenced to standard atmospheric pressure, 14.7 PSI. 0 PSIG = 14.7 PSI.
posted by intermod at 7:54 PM on November 2, 2005

Also, re: poor crab, I wonder if it felt any pain in that short time. In my experience, it takes a few seconds for serious pain to kick in. Plus there are the "do low animal forms feel pain" and "what does it feel like to die" questions, which have probably been asked here already ...
posted by intermod at 7:57 PM on November 2, 2005

Bill Bryson _A Short History of Nearly Everything_ p241

I think that got left out of the audio book. Curse you, audiobook!

rejoice, there is an unabridged available now. though i preferred the narrator of the abridged version.
posted by rswst8 at 8:20 PM on November 2, 2005

crab people, crab people
posted by geoff. at 8:54 PM on November 2, 2005

"Tum de dum-shluk!Ow!OH SHI-crrrrkkkshlup!...
..."
posted by kosher_jenny at 9:11 PM on November 2, 2005

I, for one, welcome our new pressure equalizing overlords.
posted by vagus at 9:15 PM on November 2, 2005

Avoid crabby slits.
posted by HTuttle at 9:23 PM on November 2, 2005

I mean, come on, the crab deserved it. He shouldn't have been walking on that pipe in the first place.
posted by strangeleftydoublethink at 10:55 PM on November 2, 2005

If we gave crabs stronger shells, that would just be encouraging them to walk on pipes like that!
posted by brundlefly at 11:45 PM on November 2, 2005

It may be old, but so is kung-fu.
posted by jscott at 12:58 AM on November 3, 2005

vagus writes "I, for one, welcome our new pressure equalizing overlords."
vagus++ for the excellent Simpsons line...

This makes me want to clean up this video...its just too fun to not play around with! I'll post anything I come up with...some helpful suggestions on music that would go along are most welcome. The first thing I thought of (and subsequently listened to while watching) was the Mahna Mahna song...what do y'all think?
posted by gren at 8:12 AM on November 3, 2005

vagus++ for the excellent Simpsons line...

Are you new?
posted by hugsnkisses at 9:56 AM on November 3, 2005

MetaFilter: Very, very fresh crabcakes.
posted by IronLizard at 3:07 PM on November 3, 2005

I don't know why, but that was pretty sad. What a rotten way to go.
posted by rougy at 4:08 PM on November 3, 2005

sorry for the long, long delay, but NO . . . a rotten way to go is to be CAUGHT for FOOD and dumped into a BUCKET with a hundred DOOMED FRIENDS for a WEEK and displayed on ice on Canal Street for people to PICK at your LIMBS and then BAG you up and BOIL you.

This was merciful, and i hope to be so lucky myself.
posted by gorgor_balabala at 12:13 PM on November 5, 2005

stfu, vegan!
posted by pieisexactlythree at 7:56 PM on November 5, 2005

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