Tin-Foil Hat Effectiveness
November 10, 2005 10:46 AM   Subscribe

Do you spend a lot of time worrying about government mind-control satellites? New research from MIT indicates that your tin-foil hat may be less effective than you think.
posted by GuyZero (28 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
That's funny! Whoda thunk. :)
posted by Malor at 10:54 AM on November 10, 2005

Sure, that's what they want us to believe.
posted by leapingsheep at 10:56 AM on November 10, 2005

That's some funny shit. Go, MIT nerds!
posted by Plutor at 11:00 AM on November 10, 2005

Fools. Idiots. It is so sad to see a great instotution fall so far as to admit students who, trying to prove the effectivness of tin foil, substitute aluminum foil?

Idiots! Of course it didn't work. Why do you think they pulled the tinfoil from the shelves and replaced it with aluminum foil? Aluminum doesn't block the effects, it only magnifies them. See, if I take off my tinfoil hat, you'll find that there absolutely isn't, and never will be, orbital mind control devices, and I'm personally glad that these young students went to the lengths to disprove this rumor.
posted by eriko at 11:13 AM on November 10, 2005 [1 favorite]

Ah, but from the AFDB site:

Most experts agree that tin does have an effect but opinions are divided as to whether or not it is as good as aluminum. A small, but vocal, contingent even argues that tin is superior, but they are held by most to be the lunatic fringe of Foil Deflector Beanie science. I would advise people wishing to build a Deflector Beanie to stick with aluminum whenever possible since it is a proven technology.

Let me reiterate: the lunatic fringe of Foil Deflector Beanie science. There be dragons.
posted by GuyZero at 11:17 AM on November 10, 2005

That's it, back in the bunker!

Oh, and copper foil seems to be much more effective at keeping the voices down. Yes, they do. Don't listen to him, what does he know?
posted by Pollomacho at 11:18 AM on November 10, 2005

Metafilter surrenders.
posted by guruguy9 at 11:19 AM on November 10, 2005

All criticism but no plan of action. How should I reshape my foil beanie?
posted by caddis at 11:24 AM on November 10, 2005

Selenium foil is the latest in mind-control defense. I'm surprised you are all so far behind the times.
posted by jenovus at 11:34 AM on November 10, 2005

The answer for your lunatic needs.
posted by IronLizard at 11:38 AM on November 10, 2005

Big laugh, thanks GuyZero
posted by NinjaPirate at 12:23 PM on November 10, 2005

I've painted my beanie with lead paint. Also drank a couple of mugs full for that inside-out protection. No one controls me!
posted by blue_beetle at 12:26 PM on November 10, 2005

Previous research by the Straight Dope
posted by destro at 12:59 PM on November 10, 2005

Of course aluminum foil hats are ineffective against government mind control satellites. Everyone knows they use ultra-low-frequency sound waves, not radio waves.
posted by Pseudoephedrine at 1:03 PM on November 10, 2005

Tin-foil ear muffs, anyone ?
posted by Pendragon at 1:08 PM on November 10, 2005

PST, that was awesome. I wish I could have had that for the post.
posted by GuyZero at 1:27 PM on November 10, 2005

This is really the meme of the day, its on slashdot digg and metafilter. Originating from slashdot, GuyZero give some credit to them huh?
posted by pwally at 1:31 PM on November 10, 2005

You know you're a geek when you find yourself thinking "but did they compensate for conduction by the test leads themselves? That could be a path past the foil..."

Ok, back to work.
posted by bitmage at 1:32 PM on November 10, 2005

pwally, fark actually. I will not deny. But I did go to the minor trouble of not making it a one-link FPP.
posted by GuyZero at 1:35 PM on November 10, 2005

Plus I beat Slashdot by a good 45 minutes. Nyah. My aluminum hat is working better than theirs.
posted by GuyZero at 1:37 PM on November 10, 2005

pwally, who cares?
posted by caddis at 2:21 PM on November 10, 2005

Your aluminum foil beanie has nothing on my hat of meat!!!
posted by clevershark at 3:52 PM on November 10, 2005

All of this mind contro technology is spotty and hopelessly crude. Leave it to Steely Dan guitarist Jeff "Skunk" Baxter, whose rapier thin guitar farts still send chills down my coccyx:

"(Washington - September 14, 2001)
X-Steely Dan guitarist proposes brain implants, TV, Valium for those who hate U.S.

Several days after the destruction of the World Trade Center, speaking at a seminar on terrorism before Department of Defense members, defense contractors, and military analysts at a Washington D.C. think-tank, the "Potomac Institute for Policy Studies", former lead guitarist for the rock group Steely Dan, Jeff "Skunk" Baxter, made a visionary proposal for a radically new, cutting edge strategy to counter the seething hatred of the United States in the Middle east, reports David Corn writing for Alternet.org.

Acknowledging that the U.S. needs to fight a PR war on terrorism, The rock guitar legend, who has refashioned himself as an expert on the SDI initiative, the "Star Wars" Defense scheme first initiated during the Reagan years, suggested that the U.S. needed to use advertising, nanotechnology and Valium to " reengineer the perceptions of our enemies."

Dealing with the deep hatreds which led to the fiery destruction of the World Trade Center would be difficult, the rock legend noted, because "You live in a dirt-poor place, but if you blow yourself up in the name of Allah, you'll get 73 virgins, all the dope you can smoke, backstage passes to Bruce Springsteen ... How do we nullify and negate that threat?"

Answering his question Baxter, who refuses to acknowledge the origin of his nickname, noted that "The way to keep a kamikaze pilot out of aircraft ... is to deal with it at the source" and suggested a "Manhattan Project" for "perception engineering", a propaganda campaign run by the finest advertising talent money can buy - the elite ad execs of Detroit who were "selling Chevrolets when they were crap with the 'heart beat of America' "

Applying his keen grasp of futuristic technologies, Baxter suggested that the United States could develop specialized types of microscopic robots - called "nanobots" - to infect the brains of those who hate the US and re-engineer their thought patterns away from "Great Satan" sentiments and towards a deep love of Coca-Cola , the World Trade Organization, and the American way. Showering poor, U.S. hating, fundamentalist middle eastern neighborhoods with free packages of Valium or even Prozac might do the trick too.

According to Baxter, "it's an information war.... a war fought with the ideas...I can give you a Valium and make you feel good. I can give you a musical score and engineer your perceptions. All this is doable."

This is - btw - a true story. The quoted material is as depicted.
posted by troutfishing at 9:43 PM on November 10, 2005

i, for one, welcome our new grad student overlords!
posted by muppetboy at 9:57 PM on November 10, 2005

As one who doesn't check any of those other sites regularly, I'm glad it was posted here. And GuyZero, the extra links are much appreciated.
posted by blendor at 1:07 AM on November 11, 2005

These aluminum foil hats--they vibrate?
posted by ancientgower at 10:04 AM on November 11, 2005

Here's a response to the research from the creater of the AFDB page.
posted by Staggering Jack at 9:55 AM on November 12, 2005

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