But my guess is, He's swimming for us.
November 12, 2005 12:52 AM   Subscribe

Why is He swimming? I don't know, I am only a man.
posted by Citizen Premier (41 comments total)
 
He's carrying a small chain ... and occasionally, a red blob appears in the water then fades again.

I keep expecting a shark.
posted by 5MeoCMP at 1:09 AM on November 12, 2005


I think that's his crown of thorns, in that it's Jesus swimming. ;)

Didn't watch long enough for the red-blob. But a good, amusing post nonetheless!
posted by snwod at 1:18 AM on November 12, 2005


Why doesn't he just walk?
posted by salmacis at 1:21 AM on November 12, 2005


I think tagging this jesusswimming does not make sense.
A tag is useful as a grouping of related items.
But what is gonna get grouped under a tag that's specific to the item?
posted by jouke at 1:32 AM on November 12, 2005


Also by Miltos Manetas. The Jackson Pollock one is nifty.
posted by betheon at 1:33 AM on November 12, 2005


And why does he have blue eyes, and steamboat-paddle shoulder sockets?
posted by toma at 1:44 AM on November 12, 2005


Shouldn't he be fishing? Fishing for ...men?
posted by maryh at 1:55 AM on November 12, 2005


If he'd walked he wouldn't have got his robe wet.
posted by Joeforking at 2:37 AM on November 12, 2005


Everyone knows Jesus was black.
posted by Deathalicious at 3:07 AM on November 12, 2005


I think that's his crown of thorns

No, no. It's his rosary.

He's doing ten Hail Mother's and ten My Father's to pass the time as he swims.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:27 AM on November 12, 2005


Obviously, he got down off the cross, jumped into the ocean and is using his blood to attract sharks. Dying by crucifixion wasn't good enough for him. He wanted to go out with a bang and, having seen Jaws numerous times, he knew that death by shark would get him a lot more publicity.

That's what I got out of it, anyhow.
posted by grey_flap at 3:35 AM on November 12, 2005


It's quite peaceful to watch. Surely he'll get tired soon though. Then what happens?
posted by sjvilla79 at 4:09 AM on November 12, 2005


Then what happens?

dum dum...

dum dum..

dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum
posted by grey_flap at 4:26 AM on November 12, 2005


After reading the article, it could go either. The story is centered around two cops who survived the collapse, so that pins the story down without getting into politics.

But hearing Stone's quotes about the movie are just...creepy. It was like a flashback to an old college professor who's never done anything except teach and has no idea how the rest of the world works.

Ultimately, it may be TOO soon for this, to really do the film. The idea that politics should be left out if seems short-sighted, while the full range of ramifications are unknown (which would color our view of 9/11) while the leadup to why it happened doesn't seem widely accepted or understood.

For me, overrall, 9/11 is given way to much importance. The terrorists got really lucky, because America was really wasn't paying attention to them. To raise them and Osma to some grade level is more of success than the actual attack was.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 4:28 AM on November 12, 2005


Oh, shoot, wrong post!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 4:28 AM on November 12, 2005


dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum

I was hoping for something a little less predictable. Instead, what if Jesus was starring in the biblical version of Cast Away. And he's swimming because life on the island just isn't that good anymore. Plus he has got a heap of deliveries to finish. And lastly, all this while some other dude is screwing his girl back home. Poor Jesus.
posted by sjvilla79 at 4:33 AM on November 12, 2005


sjvilla79: if you can somehow turn that into a musical, you'd have a major motion picture on your hands.

And suppose that instead of a volleyball, he makes "friends" with a stale loaf of bread.
posted by grey_flap at 4:39 AM on November 12, 2005


if you can somehow turn that into a musical, you'd have a major motion picture on your hands.

I have a good title: Lost - with added Jesus!

...he makes "friends" with a stale loaf of bread.

...which sadly didn't survive the watery trip home either.
posted by sjvilla79 at 4:56 AM on November 12, 2005


I think he should hallucinate in one scene and see the face of Pontius Pilate in a rock. There could be this whole weird scene ala Jesus Christ Superstar, with dancing mermaids and singing sand crabs all shouting out Crucify him!
posted by grey_flap at 5:01 AM on November 12, 2005


I only got 12 points. I don't get this game.
posted by loquacious at 5:14 AM on November 12, 2005


zzzZZzz
posted by loquacious at 5:20 AM on November 12, 2005


When you get to 50 points, Karl Rove rises from the depths of the water.
posted by grey_flap at 5:22 AM on November 12, 2005


karl, karl, why dost thou persecute me?
posted by pyramid termite at 6:01 AM on November 12, 2005


Okay. I got two pools of blood to appear (below head, feet) by a mouseover, and got Jesus to look at me with a mouseover. Anything else to do? And why DO pools of blood appear?
posted by jmccorm at 6:05 AM on November 12, 2005


And why DO pools of blood appear?

Just like me, they long to be, close to Him.
posted by gleuschk at 6:12 AM on November 12, 2005


And why DO pools of blood appear?

Stigmata.
posted by grey_flap at 6:37 AM on November 12, 2005


Mouseover his wounds (hands and feet) to get the desired blood effect. Mouseover his head and he will give you a peaceful look. Rightclick the page and zoom in to make this easier.
posted by parm=serial at 6:39 AM on November 12, 2005



...he makes "friends" with a stale loaf of bread.

...which sadly didn't survive the watery trip home either.


That's ok, He can make more.
posted by hoborg at 7:44 AM on November 12, 2005


If you watch long enough he turns the water into wine. Keep watching!
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 8:57 AM on November 12, 2005


The speed of the waves increase with repeat loops.

Yet he does not falter.
posted by forallmankind at 9:30 AM on November 12, 2005


Jesus swims freestyle
posted by elemenopee at 2:47 PM on November 12, 2005


I thought the blood was because he scratched his head with the Crown of Thorns in his left hand.
posted by ackeber at 3:34 PM on November 12, 2005


Jesus, Dios was right.
posted by caddis at 4:39 PM on November 12, 2005


Brandon Blatcher, if I could flag best answer, yours would be it.
posted by Citizen Premier at 4:40 PM on November 12, 2005


I think tagging this jesusswimming does not make sense.
A tag is useful as a grouping of related items.
But what is gonna get grouped under a tag that's specific to the item?


The idea is, someone else wants to post this again, and they search for the webpage name, like I did.
posted by Citizen Premier at 4:41 PM on November 12, 2005


This post sets a new standard for lameness.

Pretty insensitive as well. Is your next post going to be a little flash movie of Muhammad killing and eating swine? Make fun of bindis? Why stop with religion, perhaps you might want to start telling some ethnic jokes too?
posted by caddis at 5:08 PM on November 12, 2005


Could Jesus swim? I mean, I thought he repelled water in such a way that he could stand on it. But that brings up a sad thought, did Jesus have a sad childhood? On rainy days, he could not join the other children as they splashed in the puddles.

Anyway, in conclusion, that is obviously a Jesus impersonator.
posted by TwelveTwo at 5:13 PM on November 12, 2005


caddis, Jesus wasn't doing anything sacrilegious in the flash. He was just taking a swim! Even Jesus takes a day off now and then!
posted by Citizen Premier at 6:18 PM on November 12, 2005


It's oddly inspiring, really. Keep swimmin', Jesus! Keep swimmin'!
posted by brundlefly at 8:12 PM on November 12, 2005


for some reason, this really creeps me out...
posted by bam at 12:06 AM on November 13, 2005


Brandon Blatcher, if I could flag best answer, yours would be it.

I don't know. I think
gleuschk
hit the nail (so to speak) right on the head.
posted by LeLiLo at 12:51 AM on November 13, 2005


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