I need more money
December 9, 2005 1:29 PM Subscribe

So, d o e s a n y o n e h a v e a n y s u g g e s t i o n s o n w h a t t o g e t t h i s h o l i d a y s e a s o n ?
posted by cleverusername (67 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

my god, that is a lotta links. Good post, for effort if nothing else..
posted by das_2099 at 1:32 PM on December 9, 2005

BUY BUY BUY
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 1:34 PM on December 9, 2005

oh my god.
posted by empath at 1:36 PM on December 9, 2005

A job?
posted by plexiwatt at 1:37 PM on December 9, 2005

I kid, I kid.
posted by plexiwatt at 1:37 PM on December 9, 2005

Wow. If only there was a way to tell what each of those links pointed too without clicking on them. But there is not.

weak
posted by delmoi at 1:39 PM on December 9, 2005

Gift for the geek? How about batteries?
posted by Cranberry at 1:41 PM on December 9, 2005

I 2nd cranberry : rechargeable nimh batteries, good for his toys exxxtra good for her toys..and it goes and it goes and it goes it never stops !!!
posted by elpapacito at 1:42 PM on December 9, 2005

Did you link all those letters manually or did you use some sort of software? (I'm being serious.) :)
posted by callmejay at 1:43 PM on December 9, 2005

Eye forks. And if you want to class them up, get them monogrammed (make sure they're etched so the newly blinded can still "read" the monogram).
posted by fenriq at 1:43 PM on December 9, 2005

i'm thinking a subscription to adbusters might be just what this big fat country needs.
posted by 1-2punch at 1:44 PM on December 9, 2005

callmejay, manually.
delmoi, you can hover over the link and see the URL in your status bar.
posted by cleverusername at 1:45 PM on December 9, 2005

So, does anyone have any suggestions on what to get this holiday season?

My friend Elvis, who has one of those blog things, just addressed this very question.
posted by LeLiLo at 1:49 PM on December 9, 2005

Youl lazy twat, "So," is only one link when it could have been three. You missed out on posting two extra links no one will visit.
posted by notmydesk at 1:49 PM on December 9, 2005

A lot of effort went into this post, but I've always found the one-link-per-letter format incredibly annoying. Hmm.
posted by musicinmybrain at 1:54 PM on December 9, 2005

Civil_Disobedient, you're close. It's really SELL SELL SELL, then BUY BUY BUY. We all know it's impossible to walk into Wal-Mart with a soul.
posted by panoptican at 1:55 PM on December 9, 2005

I suppose I'm fortunate not to be so encumbered.
posted by knave at 1:59 PM on December 9, 2005

Well, they are annoying sometimes, but this one is funny because no one will actually visit any or at least many of these links. (Of course that probably makes it one of those "about the poster" posts, but it is still kind of funny.)
posted by caddis at 2:02 PM on December 9, 2005

Way too many links. Someone get the consonants and I'll get the vowels. Report back in an hour.
posted by horsewithnoname at 2:02 PM on December 9, 2005

This is a really helpful post, and has only cost me $350 so far... Thanks cleverusernameguy
posted by AspectRatio at 2:07 PM on December 9, 2005

So I'm mousing over each link and I see the AllAboutFrogs link and I think, "wonder what this is?" and wouldn't ya know it... frogs. I swear there is no creativity left in the world.
posted by Zorro on Doughnuts at 2:09 PM on December 9, 2005

These one-letter-per-link posts are incredibly annoying. And ineffective.
posted by Ynoxas at 2:15 PM on December 9, 2005

MetaFilter: Way too many links
posted by AspectRatio at 2:19 PM on December 9, 2005

I'm shaking a stick at this FPP and there are just too many links to shake the stick at them effectively. I'll be right back, I'm going to go get another stick.
posted by fenriq at 2:28 PM on December 9, 2005

My girlfriend wants to give goats to poor people in the names of her family and friends for Christmas. I told her they probably wouldn't like that.
posted by mrgrimm at 2:29 PM on December 9, 2005

delmoi, you can hover over the link and see the URL in your status bar.

Well, it's a good thing I'm familiar with the content of each of those websites!
posted by delmoi at 2:30 PM on December 9, 2005

Are you saying you can't figure out allaboutbeer.com, games.net, 101cookbooks.com, and grandparentsmagazine.net? Please stop bitching about the format of the post.
posted by gleuschk at 2:37 PM on December 9, 2005

Cocaine.
posted by iron chef morimoto at 2:37 PM on December 9, 2005

what is with the chocolate fountain I keep seeing? Why do you need that?

And some of those bustiers (beads glued on bras) were mighty ugly.
posted by Red58 at 2:39 PM on December 9, 2005

My girlfriend wants to give goats to poor people in the names of her family and friends for Christmas. I told her they probably wouldn't like that.

Those newly be-goated people, unhappy with their bearded Christmas gifts, might then respond to your girlfriend: "You got my goat!"
posted by soiled cowboy at 2:42 PM on December 9, 2005

Holy effin pissghetti monster, cleverusername, you must have a lot of time on your hands.
But thanks for starting a thread that led to so many funny comments.

BUY BUY BUY

Having left the world of nonprofits for advertising, I must now say - nuttin wrong with that.

And where can I get one of these chocolate fountains?
posted by NorthernLite at 2:46 PM on December 9, 2005

Crap. I forgot about the y's.
posted by horsewithnoname at 3:02 PM on December 9, 2005

congratulations on finishing that FPP before x-mas 2005.
posted by Busithoth at 3:09 PM on December 9, 2005

Wow. That goats-for-the-poor thing is an amazingly cool idea. It's not like monetary aid, which ends up getting stolen by local warlords. It's not bags full of wheat which end up rotting on runways. It's sustainable daily nourishment with microbusiness opportunities all in one tasty package.

If I had known about this last year when I actually had a living wage job, I'd have bought a cow for some family.

Sadly, my post-rent income right now is slightly less than that of the average Chinese gold farmer. Anyone care to send me a goat? I'll have you over for Monterey-style cabrito if you do....
posted by solid-one-love at 3:25 PM on December 9, 2005

My girlfriend wants to give goats to poor people in the names of her family and friends for Christmas. I told her they probably wouldn't like that.

Perhaps they'd prefer to get toilets, a retrained sex worker, or a flock of sheep?
posted by Zinger at 3:43 PM on December 9, 2005

you coulda linked to 72,600,000 sites just by linking to this.
posted by crunchland at 3:48 PM on December 9, 2005

Somebody write up a summary of this post. Or, through cunning, make the same post again but decompressed. They will then get all the credit!
posted by TwelveTwo at 3:57 PM on December 9, 2005

Has anyone given an animal yet from heifer.org? Does the recipient get a card or something from the organization describing the gift? I guess I could buy myself a share of a goat to find out, but that seems silly.
posted by Triplanetary at 4:22 PM on December 9, 2005

wow. does this OCD behavior get in the way of much?
posted by tarantula at 4:31 PM on December 9, 2005

One of these.
posted by ryoshu at 4:47 PM on December 9, 2005

It breaks my mind.
posted by loquacious at 4:53 PM on December 9, 2005

mrgrimm
If your girlfriend's family and friends aren't appreciative of her charity in their names It's their loss. How would they feel about her giving water in their names?
posted by X4ster at 5:03 PM on December 9, 2005

i'm thinking a subscription to adbusters might be just what this big fat country needs.

I don't know... somehow hearing anti-branding diatribe by an organization that slaps its brand in so many places doesn't quite feel right.
posted by clevershark at 5:16 PM on December 9, 2005

I think it's a fantastic idea giving to a charity and then telling your rellos that that's their gift. Brilliant in fact!

You get the positive karma, you get to feel smug and superior, you get the tax deduction, they get to know just how much you care and you think that they dont.
posted by wilful at 5:25 PM on December 9, 2005

You missed out on posting two extra links no one will visit.

Not only that, he forgot to link the spaces! Laaaaazy.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 5:47 PM on December 9, 2005

Don't ever do that again.
posted by tkchrist at 5:57 PM on December 9, 2005

Didn't we just have a long, long discussion on the (lack of) merits of clever loads-o-link posts?

That said, I have looked at none of these links and will not.

That said, the best gift in the world is poo and pee.
posted by tpl1212 at 6:13 PM on December 9, 2005

Give New Orleans music. Order through Louisiana Music Factory (locally owned) or the artists webpages. A terrific way to support N.O. right now.

[No, I am not affiliated with LMF, nor am I a musician. Yes, I'm doing it myself, have sent out a half dozen CD's so far; gotta spend that FEMA money before it burns a hole in my pocket.]
posted by custis at 6:16 PM on December 9, 2005

LOL

aside to Iron Chef Morimoto:
All I want for Christmas is numb front teeth,
numb front teeth,
numb front teeth!

Har!
posted by misangela at 6:25 PM on December 9, 2005

cleverusername, I didn't click a single link. Just FYI.
posted by ryanrs at 7:57 PM on December 9, 2005

"Giving" someone a goat for someone else for Xmas is lame. If I wanted to give to charity, I would give to charity. Then again, I'm still poor enough to count on my Xmas gifts for stuff I need. Because I live in New York and you need way more than goats to survive here.
posted by dame at 8:44 PM on December 9, 2005

I hate it when I double click on accident.
posted by dame at 8:45 PM on December 9, 2005

Personally when I see a link-a-letter post like that I generally don't click any of the links. Then I post some smartass comment in the ensuing thread.

Well, my job here is done.
posted by clevershark at 9:25 PM on December 9, 2005

/doesn't think anyone got his joke.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 9:41 PM on December 9, 2005

For my present this year, I'd like a goat, given to dame in my name.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 11:44 PM on December 9, 2005

Something tells me that cleverusername might appreciate one of these.
posted by rob511 at 2:17 AM on December 10, 2005

Thanks Chris, maybe you can stop the noise on this thread!!
posted by wheelieman at 6:56 AM on December 10, 2005

Whoops.
chapters.indigo.ca: Our Holiday Gift Guide
posted by chrismear at 7:16 AM on December 10, 2005

Dammit. The MeFi comments monster really hates that URL.
posted by chrismear at 7:17 AM on December 10, 2005

More on the Paris Hilton shrine...
posted by Zurishaddai at 8:13 AM on December 10, 2005

Forget the chocolate fountain; I need a bathroom sink with goldfish inside.
posted by artifarce at 10:41 AM on December 10, 2005

Are you offering?
posted by artifarce at 7:47 PM on December 11, 2005

Civil_Disobedient said: "/doesn't think anyone got his joke."

Yep, lots of people here have a large, serious stick up their *censored*. It didn't take me long to find that many holiday gift guides, which made the post easy to make... the point was to laugh at the shock that so many places think that people aren't good gift givers. It's the thought that counts, not how cool the choco-fountain is. Besides, take a look at some of those "must buy" gifts; I certainly can't afford anything above $25...
posted by cleverusername at 7:54 AM on December 12, 2005

That said, the best gift in the world is poo and pee.

This post was worth it for that. Thanks, tpl1212.

mrgrimm
If your girlfriend's family and friends aren't appreciative of her charity in their names It's their loss. How would they feel about her giving water in their names?

I dunno. I think I agree with dame (the first time, NOT the second).

Soliciting charity donations as wedding gifts = splendid.
"Fooling" someone into giving charity (meaning they bought a gift for me, but I gave their gift to poor people) = less splendid.

Not horrible, just less splendid.
posted by mrgrimm at 5:47 PM on December 14, 2005

Has anyone given an animal yet from heifer.org? Does the recipient get a card or something from the organization describing the gift?

My mum got "me"(/someone who needed one) a goat a couple of years ago and I thought it was cool, can't remember which charity it was from. I got an email all about it, I think, but I've just sent my friend a toilet for her birthday and they were going to send her a gift card through the post.

It did take me quite some time to explain to my coworker that my friend would not actually receive a toilet. Sigh.
posted by penguin pie at 7:12 AM on December 16, 2005

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