Smoke 'em if you got 'em.
December 11, 2005 11:32 PM   Subscribe

"The Empire" is wearing an interesting jacket.
posted by kenko at 11:39 PM on December 11, 2005

Founded in November 1998 by editor, Gustav Temple and art director, Vic Darkwood, 'The Chap' magazine is a quarterly review who's aims are twofold: one, to bring a smile to the lips of urbane and thoughtful persons; and two, to undermine the status quo through excessive personal grooming and random acts of common courtesy.
Nice, except for the solecisms.
posted by kenko at 11:46 PM on December 11, 2005

Those with large monitor resolutions, consider yourselves warned.
posted by luftmensch at 11:56 PM on December 11, 2005

The Closet Lothario. This man is obviously an animal.
posted by rxreed at 12:00 AM on December 12, 2005

It's not much of a warning if you don't say what the warning warns, luftmensch.
posted by kenko at 12:03 AM on December 12, 2005

Good stuff :)

A sort of mental disconnect there... when reading about 'young women in the lower echelons of advertising and homosexuals' or 'inbreeding or an art college education', I need to know the time period something was written in to get a grasp of the mindset. Am I right in assuming that despite the costuming in the drawings and turn-of-century-England tone of the text this is a contemporary work?
posted by Firas at 12:09 AM on December 12, 2005

There is a pretty good book by Iain Gately on the history of tobacco that discusses this legitimately. Something about the thumb and forefinger, cupped hand hold of the working class versus the fore- and middle finger held, protruding cigarettes of the self-confident elites in late 19th century England. It's an overall pleasant read if you're at all interested in tobacco, but written with a poetic bias towards smoking. Not recommended if you're trying to quit.
posted by mosessmith at 12:12 AM on December 12, 2005


posted by rob511 at 12:51 AM on December 12, 2005

Just a note: The Decadent Schoolboy is also a very practical way to hold your cigarette while smoking in the rain, though it does look like you could be concealing a joint.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 1:09 AM on December 12, 2005

Civil_Disobedient: A variant on The Decadent Schoolboy, where the cigarette if cupped in the palm but held between the first two fingers, was the smoking method that Don Van Vliet (aka Captain Beefheart) insisted his band members use, as it was "the only correct way."

It does make sense indoors, as you provide your own tray for stray ashes.
posted by StickyCarpet at 1:37 AM on December 12, 2005

Oh, and if its not obvious from context, we're talking palm upward in this case, so not good for rain.
posted by StickyCarpet at 1:41 AM on December 12, 2005

Civil_Disobedient, The Decadent Schoolboy is also the proper way to smoke when in the military. Hides the light of the cigarette in the dark. More or less.

I have a few older friends who never kicked the habit of smoking like that. Always odd seeing them puff smoke without noticing that they're holding a cigarette.
posted by slimepuppy at 2:09 AM on December 12, 2005

loq: this is awesome.

My buddy Joon-young used to hold his ping-pong paddle upside down and do The Senior Man (not necessarily at the same time) eliciting inquiries and frustration from me. Good lesson that you can still fuck with people effectively even over a language barrier.

A bit on the side: My brother and I used to chain smoke and practice ashing from about 6 inches to a foot away from the tray. It required a good sense of when the ash was ready (not too long, not too short) as well as a practiced technique. Ultimately we found it largely inconsistent, but we were convinced at the time that, were we able to master it, we could drop jaws with a nonchalant ash-flick into an ash tray while dancing with our date and holding a highball and cigarette when at a swanky party. The resulting ashes scattered all over our porch would elicit inquiries and frustration from my mother.
posted by GooseOnTheLoose at 3:59 AM on December 12, 2005

It's not much of a warning if you don't say what the warning warns, luftmensch.
posted by kenko at 12:03 AM PST on December 12 [!]

Meh, sorry, thought it was obvious. The book will look teeny tiny in the corner, and will tile.
posted by luftmensch at 6:53 AM on December 12, 2005

They forgot an important one:

The cigarette is held between the middle finger and the ring finger, so that when a drag is taken, half of the smoker's face is obscured by the palm of the hand. In movies, this is how evil Nazi interrogators smoke.
posted by ColdChef at 7:12 AM on December 12, 2005

what about the Keith Richards/Slash style where you keep the cigarette in your lips all the time while playing guitar? I've always wondered a) how do you manage to keep smoke from getting in your eyes and b) what happens to the ashes.
posted by funambulist at 7:38 AM on December 12, 2005

This is great. In my smoking days, I was mostly an Exquisite (OK because I'm female, I guess, according to the text), but depending on circumstances I could adapt to the decadent schoolboy or the sloven.

I had a longtime boyfriend who did the Pub Politician all the time. It's a spot on characterization: Pub Politician is exactly what he was. I used to find that hold, and the assumed lordly authority it represented, sooo pretentious. It was doomed to fail.

How do you manage to keep smoke from getting in your eyes?

I think the answer is, you are such a drug-numbed badass you just don't care.

But I was also fascinated by the hard-bitten older guys who would park the cig in the corner of their mouth and then just go about talking and working with it lodged there. It's one thing to play your 47,281st rendition of "Brown Sugar" with the thing hanging out of your mouth, but quite another to see a tough old Yankee carry on a 10-minute conversation while fixing a lawnmower without ever dropping the smoke from his lips.
posted by Miko at 9:01 AM on December 12, 2005

Good stuff. Thanks. What the hell does "sobrane" mean?
posted by mrgrimm at 12:22 PM on December 12, 2005

Thanks for the link. Anything that uses the word "cuckold" is OK by me. That said, I'm gonna go blacken my lungs now.
posted by brundlefly at 3:15 PM on December 12, 2005

Sobrane is a brand of cigarette. Sobrane Black Russian's are pretty tasty, but aren't nearly as good as Nat Shermans.

Sobrane are probably most famous for their "Cocktail" brand smokes. They have very brightly colored papers and shiny gold filters. Even smoking one of them will certainly - if momentarily - make you a bit light in the loafers. I'll not judge whether this is a good thing or bad thing - just stating the facts.

Also, while "The Semiotics of Smoking" is obviously a clever fiction piece, they're missing at least one established genre or style - the handroll. While smoking handrolls often brings up misguided visions of rugged outdoorsman cowboy-ness, the smoking style is no such thing. It generally requires a delicate, chop-stick like grip between the very tip of he fingers, or a variation of The Senior Man.
posted by loquacious at 3:29 PM on December 12, 2005

Most of the handroll smokers I know are effete artsy types.
posted by kenko at 4:01 PM on December 12, 2005


I enjoyed this more than any other post in a long while.

Not only did "the extrovert" and "the overly considerate" crack my shit up, but the site's system places me as "the Senior Man:"

The man who is happily assured of his own worth can decently allow himself the luxury of a less than overtly masculine smoking technique.

That is... before I quit. But anyway: BRILLIANT.
posted by scarabic at 9:49 PM on December 12, 2005

no they mention handrolled cigarettes in the intro, the rest is about holding cigarettes of any type
posted by klik99 at 8:36 PM on December 14, 2005

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