Where is Toga?

December 21, 2005 4:32 PM

Zoo Burglars Steal Baby Penguin
Toga, a baby Jackass penguin, was "birdnapped" this week from Amazon World on the Isle of Wight. Zookeepers surmise that Toga was stolen as a result of someone wanting to give him as a gift this Christmas -- following the popularity of the hit documentary 'March of the Penguins.' A reward of £5,000 is being offered for his return.
posted by ericb (29 comments total)

This reminds me of an urban legend. Are we sure this one is legit?
posted by rhapsodie at 5:06 PM on December 21, 2005

Kath Bright vs. Karen Bright. Horrible fact-checking, or myth perpetuation?
posted by rhapsodie at 5:09 PM on December 21, 2005

The story was on All Things Considered tonight. They interviewed Katherine and acknowledged the similar urban legend. Listen here. This makes baby jesus (penguin) cry.
posted by apis mellifera at 5:21 PM on December 21, 2005

I sure hope they stamped it with "property of the zoo" when it was small.
posted by terrapin at 5:37 PM on December 21, 2005

This is sickening. No doubt the thing will be dead soon enough. People are fucking idiots.
posted by dobbs at 5:45 PM on December 21, 2005

it's NPRfilter!
posted by xmutex at 5:47 PM on December 21, 2005

jesus, i didn't think they'd miss it. It's just one penguin! they can always just get another. and anyway, my kid sister really really wanted one.
posted by shmegegge at 6:06 PM on December 21, 2005

Wight slavery.
posted by dhartung at 6:08 PM on December 21, 2005

Maybe a raptor grabbed it?
posted by Scram at 6:15 PM on December 21, 2005

Missing penguin? Insert Microsoft/Gates conspiracy here.
posted by MJ6 at 6:27 PM on December 21, 2005

I sure hope they stamped it with "property of the zoo" when it was small.

But what happens when it molts?
posted by easternblot at 6:31 PM on December 21, 2005

...and then the cop said "I thought I told you to take that penguin to the zoo", so the guy says "I did, and we had so much fun together that today we're going to the movie theatre".

/at least as good as what you'll find in a christmas cracker
posted by bunglin jones at 6:38 PM on December 21, 2005

What a great gift!
posted by I Foody at 6:59 PM on December 21, 2005

I wonder what roasted penguin tastes like.
posted by yeoz at 7:02 PM on December 21, 2005

The penguins apparantly make a sound like a donkey, the woman on NPR from the zoo informed listeners (in the US) that if we hear donkey sounds somewhere where we don't normally expect donkeys, then we should investigate. Good advice, even when there isn't a missing jackass penguin around.
posted by martinX's bellbottoms at 7:03 PM on December 21, 2005

mmm, penturducken...
posted by StickyCarpet at 7:10 PM on December 21, 2005

death and the penguin
posted by callicles at 8:27 PM on December 21, 2005

I'm with scram - NPR seems to have all too readily dismissed the "lone raptor" hypothesis.
posted by troutfishing at 8:43 PM on December 21, 2005

Dobbs, I'm with you.

I'm sure that if penguins had pants, it would shit in them and then die of shock.
posted by gunthersghost at 9:13 PM on December 21, 2005

Being a baby penguin, it's more likely to be turduckenguin, or possibly turduckpencken.
posted by Jawn at 11:14 PM on December 21, 2005

Totally puzzling, i had heard the NPR story earlier today, and during the broadcast an amazingly intricate set of blueprints needed to rob a zoo of a penguin immediately ran through my mind. Then a documentary about the little guy's return home did... and then a comedy starring Will Farrell, Lucy [viz. the chocolate factory scene with lucy and a baby penguin] and Joe DiMaggio [viz. a baby penguin pitching] about this did. Then i don't remember what happened and now i'm reading about it online.

What is in this tea, anyway?

The point is penguins are adorable, and this little guy better be returned, if only for all the lucrative movies he should be making.
posted by phylum sinter at 12:23 AM on December 22, 2005

*shrugs*
posted by PenguinBukkake at 2:00 AM on December 22, 2005

March of the metapenguins...

I wonder what roasted penguin tastes like.

Mmmm. [Smacks lips.] Fishy. (Actually I had penguin egg with pasta for my dinner last night, bit like a normal one but a slight touch stronger and the white is actually transparent).

Selflinkfilter, but I feel sorry for whoever's got the little geezer: the demonic magellanic skin-stripper penguin in this comment is aka the jackass. If he's big enough to bite back, they'll have no hands left with which to return him.
posted by penguin pie at 3:58 AM on December 22, 2005

If it's a Jackass penguin, maybe it didn't get kidnapped. It just ran away to hang out with Steve-O.
posted by jonp72 at 5:26 AM on December 22, 2005

Have you seen this chicken?
posted by malaprohibita at 6:55 AM on December 22, 2005

I'm horrified. What a terrible thing to happen to the penguin, and the zoo.

People are assholes.
posted by agregoli at 7:43 AM on December 22, 2005

Have they seen Madagascar? If I learned anything from that movie it's that Penguins are natural escape artists.
posted by drezdn at 8:04 AM on December 22, 2005

BBC News:

"Zoo staff have spent the day searching for Toga after reports the penguin had been dumped at Portsmouth dockyard in a plastic bag.

Hampshire Constabulary said it was one of several lines of inquiry and that the investigation was 'ongoing'."

posted by ericb at 10:24 AM on December 22, 2005

People, a moment of silence, please.

....


....

Also, apparently some homeless guy was stabbed to death down the street. Whatever.
posted by iron chef morimoto at 10:29 AM on December 22, 2005