Meet Clinton Portis's "friends"
January 6, 2006 10:02 AM   Subscribe

Washington Redskin running back Clinton Portis has been having a host of "friends" do his press conferences this season, featuring such notables as Dollah Bill, Bro Sweets, Southeast Jerome (who sadly passed away), and others. This week we met Coach Janky Spanky. Watch his press conference or catch the cliff notes and meet the entire cast.
posted by xmutex (30 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
 
Portis is the man. Didn't know Southeast Jerome had passed though.

.

Prediction: Skins 27, Bucs 21
posted by bardic at 10:10 AM on January 6, 2006


Clinton Portis' press conferences have been one of the best things about the NFL this season.

Related SpoFi Thread 1

Related SpoFi Thread 2
posted by Joey Michaels at 10:11 AM on January 6, 2006


at Eastern Motors, your job is your credit
posted by mookieproof at 10:19 AM on January 6, 2006


Clinton's menagerie has almost made me forget the team's deeply offensive name and the fact the owner is the biggest greedhead in the NFL -- an accomplishment.

Almost.
posted by docgonzo at 10:36 AM on January 6, 2006


Yeah, I said it, owillis.
posted by docgonzo at 10:36 AM on January 6, 2006


You've gotta love a guy like Portis who has a pretty funny sense of humor, doesn't mind looking like a goof and then kicks ass on the field too.

And, from what little I've seen, he doesn't have a gargantuan ego either.

You taking notes, TO?
posted by fenriq at 10:39 AM on January 6, 2006


It may not be cool to pimp a Nick Denton joint, but DeadSpin is all over Clinton and is a great, great read, too.
posted by docgonzo at 10:42 AM on January 6, 2006


Holy crap. I'd read the transcripts before, but I just saw the video for the first time. He's ridiculously funny.

"Gimme two extra players and that Portis is stopped."
posted by eamondaly at 10:48 AM on January 6, 2006


at Eastern Motors, your job is your credit

Lavar Arrington bursts in: "Stay down, punk!"
posted by tetsuo at 10:54 AM on January 6, 2006


Last week, he had a group of other players dress up and introduce themselves as their character names, including good old goofy Chris Cooley who introduced himeself as "um... Joe White Guy...". These guys are having fun, and it is fun to watch them on and off the field.

Just to the left of topic: At Saturday's game, a female Philadelphia fan threw a cup of beer at Portis' Mom. Portis' Mom punched her in the nose. The Washington Post Headline? "Momma Said Knock You Out."

Momma McNabb may open and heat you up a can of beef stew. BUt Momma Portis can get your back in a rough neighborhood.
posted by mmahaffie at 10:56 AM on January 6, 2006


How long 'till the powers that be in the No Fun League put an end to Mr. Portis' roadshow?
posted by docgonzo at 11:01 AM on January 6, 2006


This is awesome.
posted by billysumday at 11:11 AM on January 6, 2006


I love both Clinton Portis and his mom.
posted by amarynth at 11:13 AM on January 6, 2006


And all this time I've been wearing a suit to my performance reviews like a sucker.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 11:15 AM on January 6, 2006


I don't think he's funny. Dime-store costumes, funny names, goofy voices- most of us grew out of that about the time we turned ten.

It's disturbing watching a grown man behave that way.
posted by Jatayu das at 11:21 AM on January 6, 2006


It's puerile, but also incredibly funny compared to the gangsta vibe many pro atheltes go for. Portis isn't afraid to make fun of himself, which is cool. And he's embraced DC, which I don't blame a lot of athletes for not doing (I happen to love DC, but it's been a long while since any local sports franchise has done much).
posted by bardic at 11:25 AM on January 6, 2006


I've been watching these pressers with a huge amount of amusement all season. It's refreshing to see a big time athlete not take himself so seriously.

This last one is dead on with the coach speak...
posted by bawanaal at 11:26 AM on January 6, 2006


I don't think he's funny. Dime-store costumes, funny names, goofy voices- most of us grew out of that about the time we turned ten.

It's disturbing watching a grown man behave that way.


I'm guessing you don't watch sports.
posted by billysumday at 11:31 AM on January 6, 2006


goskins!
posted by grateful at 11:37 AM on January 6, 2006


I don't follow pro football at all, so this was all new to me, but I've got to say, I love it.

These guys get paid an absurd amount of money to play a game. In order to do well on the field they have to take it seriously. But off the field, its obviously a farce. Clinton Portis seems to have figured out how to deal with that brilliantly.

As for the outfits, I think that Portis is obviously taking a cue from his old DC neighbors, P-Funk. Welcome to the Funk Mob young Clinton.
posted by afflatus at 11:41 AM on January 6, 2006


docgonzo: "the fact the owner is the biggest greedhead in the NFL"

I think that would be Al Davis of the Oakland/L.A./Oakland Raiders.
posted by Eekacat at 11:56 AM on January 6, 2006


Reporter: “Your ears seem to be a different color.”
Portis: “Well, I’m nervous.”

posted by mrgrimm at 12:07 PM on January 6, 2006


GREAT POST!
posted by If I Had An Anus at 12:15 PM on January 6, 2006


Very good post.
posted by OmieWise at 12:21 PM on January 6, 2006


How long 'till the powers that be in the No Fun League put an end to Mr. Portis' roadshow?

No shit. Half of the fun each week is just that he got away with it for another week.
posted by yerfatma at 12:44 PM on January 6, 2006


Wow. I don't watch sports but this is the funnest stuff I've read all weeks. Really makes my Friday. Thanks for the post!, and Thanks Mr. Portis!
posted by cavalier at 12:53 PM on January 6, 2006


Uh, week. Sorry.
posted by cavalier at 12:53 PM on January 6, 2006


God bless Coach Janky Spanky. And God bless the reporters for playing along, too.
posted by Spatch at 1:05 PM on January 6, 2006


The NFL is so guarded with it's image, players have become robotic, unfunny Campell's Soup or Visa pitchmen at best.
This was refreshing.
posted by wfc123 at 1:27 PM on January 6, 2006


I wanna see the Redskins Vs. The Bengals in the playoffs just to see the shenanigans between Portis and Chad Johnson.
posted by Mick at 11:38 AM on January 7, 2006


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