December 15, 2000
9:57 AM   Subscribe

OK, poor Ms. Swires has gone global. The story was on the front page of the Times this morning; all the other papers have their own versions; and it’s getting third billing on the main BBC news website as I write. The country is on its knees... For anyone lucky enough not to have received the email in question, I’ll post the salient bits in the comments.
posted by Mocata (8 comments total)
-----Original Message-----
From: Claire Swire
Sent: 07 December 2000 15:53
To: Adrian James (E-mail); Benny Shipley (E-mail); Chait,
Bradley; Caroline Scotson (E-mail); Chris May (E-mail); Ellie Thorneycroft(E-mail); Mark De st croix (E-mail); Matt Metos (E-mail); Pete Kenyon (E-mail); Toby Clarke (E-mail)

A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and
Holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't
care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!". So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard."

-----Original Message-----
From: Chait, Bradley []
Sent: 07 December 2000 16:06
To: 'Claire Swire'
Subject: RE:


-----Original Message-----
From: Claire Swire
Sent: 07 December 2000 16:07
To: Chait, Bradley
Subject: RE:

lucky I swallow so that wont be happening to me!

-----Original Message-----
From: Chait, Bradley []
Sent: 07 December 2000 16:10
To: 'Claire Swire'
Subject: RE:

Not ALL the time I hope
(or so you would have me believe)

-----Original Message-----
From: Claire Swire
Sent: 07 December 2000 16:12
To: Chait, Bradley
Subject: RE:

I hadn't swallowed for years but yours was yum and very good for me too! Apparently it's very good conditioner for your hair too...getting a funny picture in my head, giggling out loud and now having to explain to Dave what's so funny!

-----Original Message-----
From: Chait, Bradley
Sent: 07 December 2000 16:25
To: Tarbuck, Andrew; Caffarate, Nick; Townsend, Nathan;
Jamie; Davies, Stuart; Drummond, Edward
Subject: "yours was yum"

now THAT'S a nice compliment from a lass, isn't it?

-----Original Message-----
From: Drummond, Edward
Sent: 07 December 2000 16:28
To: Hames, Joel; Walker, Steven; Murray, Grant; Driver,
Peter; Ferri, David; Newby, Chris; Moss, Jason
Cc: Banner, Heather; Boxer, Sonya; Williamson, Emma;
Subject: FW: "yours was yum"

beggars belief. I feel honour bound to circulate this.

posted by Mocata at 10:15 AM on December 15, 2000

Ms. Swires has already been doorstopped by the Daily Mail - and if the News of the World aren't at this moment interviewing everyone who's ever met her I'll be very surprised.

Perhaps she should get together with Mahir...
posted by Mocata at 10:35 AM on December 15, 2000

If they get sacked, really don't think that the punishment fits the crime (if you can call it a crime). If that was the case, shouldn't all the "millions" of people who forwarded it using company Internet access be liable as well?

"The bottom line is don't use e-mails for sexist material or racist material.

"Be prepared to be disciplined or sacked if you do, and I think that's right and proper in the modern day and age."

Bullshit. It seems to me like Puritanical nonsense...

posted by timothompson at 1:38 PM on December 15, 2000

And now...

The obligatory tribute page.

What next? The "Cum is Yum" dance page? "Am I Yum or Not"?
posted by timothompson at 1:43 PM on December 15, 2000

God, I feel really sorry for her--just telling her guy she enjoyed what they did, and now, thanks to him, half the online world is imagining her with cum in her hair. He, on the other hand, should have a fishhook inserted in his scrotum and twisted. What an *asshole.*
posted by rodii at 3:36 PM on December 15, 2000

the whole thing apparently is a hoax, as found out by the The Register, who went looking for the so-called cum-luvin' Claire Swire and stroked ego Bradley Chait IRL.
posted by houbi at 10:19 AM on December 16, 2000

No, they got that wrong.
posted by Mocata at 3:34 AM on December 18, 2000

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