Crush my car!
January 23, 2006 1:26 AM   Subscribe

Crush My 307. A British buyer of a crummy French car (when clearly he should of bought a German car) wants to raise enough money to buy a sensible car so that he can crush his car into a cube and give it back the manufacturer, Peugeot, after a long list of problems. Been sold a lemon? Maybe this is for you.
posted by 13twelve (27 comments total)
The final straw came this week after the exhaust dropped off after just 26k miles. According to Peugeot this is normal and they won't discuss it any further.

sorry but that is goddamned LOL.
posted by wakko at 1:41 AM on January 23, 2006

I wasn't too impressed, until...


OK, that's gold.
posted by effugas at 1:44 AM on January 23, 2006

Good Day

My name is Miss Dian James , the only daugther son of late Mr. and Mrs James konta of the blessed memory. My father was a very wealthy cocoa merchant in Abidjan Wales, the economic capital of Ivory Coast the world. My father was poisoned to death by his business associates in one of their outings on a business trip.

My mother died when I was a baby and since then, my father took me so special. Before the death of my father on jenuary 2003 in a private hospital here in Abidjan, Wales he secretly called me on his bedside and told me that he has the sum of Eight Million United States Dollars left in a fixed/suspense account in one of the prime banks I never should have purchased that Pugeot 307 and that a Toyota Corolla is a better car for the money.

He explained to me that it was because of this wealth
that he was poisoned by his business associates, That I
should seek for a foreign partner in a country of my choice where I will transfer this money car and use it for investment purpose such as real estate management or hotel management. who will help me to buy a new car.

I am honourably seeking your assistance in the following

1) To provide a bank account into which this money would be transferred to cash to help me buy a new car.
2) To serve as a guardian of this fund car since I am only 21years old
3) To make arrangement for me to come over to your country to further my education and to secure a resident permit for me in your country - and help me to get a driver's license.

Moreover, I am willing to offer you 15% of the total sum car as compensation for your effort/input after the successful transfer of this fund into your nominated account overseas and 10% for expencis of your money into my account.

Furthermore, you indicate your options towards assisting me as I believe that this transaction would be concluded
within fourteen (14) days you signify interest to assist

Anticipating to hear from you soon .

Thank you very nice

Best regards,

posted by three blind mice at 2:12 AM on January 23, 2006

NEWS FLASH! Man doesn't read reviews of crappy car before purchasing such and requests anonymous donors on Internet bail him out. Film at 11.

My mother has always said Peugeot makes crappy cars, and has always made crappy cars (even before they bought her one-time employer and let a bunch of people go). I'm sure there's no bias in her appraisal, either, from all the horror stories I've heard.

Isn't "citroën" French for "lemon"? Or am I thinking of another citrus fruit?
posted by Eideteker at 2:19 AM on January 23, 2006

Isn't "citroën" French for "lemon"? Or am I thinking of another citrus fruit?

Dutch, actually. The French word for "lemon" is "citron".
posted by Goblindegook at 3:06 AM on January 23, 2006

Citröen have always made the most eye-meltingly ugly cars, whereas Peugeot seem to have hired some skilled designers at a number of points and have developed World Rally-winning cars. So there, pah!

I adore design in cars and little more (why can't TVR design a car's back end? They do the first half admirably and then go on holiday or somehting) and suspect rally is the only interesting motor sport.

(i am not a car person and exceedingly shallow in this regard)
posted by NinjaPirate at 3:16 AM on January 23, 2006

bad umlaut, naughty umlaut
posted by NinjaPirate at 3:17 AM on January 23, 2006

Peugeots are usually fun to drive too and their GTIs have been great.

NinjaPirate - Peugeots current WRC car is said to be "twitchy" and its performance in Corsica was a bit rubbish - it just seems they got it all wrong with the 307.

Citroen did have the first ABS system (I think) to go into mass production. And then ugly cars like the BX, 2CV and all their current range.
posted by 13twelve at 3:36 AM on January 23, 2006

13twelve posted 'he should of bought'
He shoud have or he should've, dammit. descriptivists can K.M.A.
posted by signal at 4:38 AM on January 23, 2006

clearly he should of bought a German car

clearly, 13twelve suffers from low self of steam. you are not helping here, signal.
posted by quonsar at 5:29 AM on January 23, 2006

I had a Renault Megane as a rental about two years ago while living in Spain and "eye meltingingly ugly" is the exact term I would use (thank you for adding a new term to my lexicon, NinjaPirate) to describe the car.

I begged the good folks at EuropeCar in Valencia t provide me with a good ole' VW Polo or even a Seat Cordoba, but they would hear none of it. It was a French car for me, dammit!

(as an aside: God Bless the new VW GTI...)
posted by tgrundke at 5:33 AM on January 23, 2006

*Kicks 13twelve's ass*

Why do people do this? It's damned near enough for me to want to start my first MetaTalk thread.
posted by Richard Daly at 5:43 AM on January 23, 2006

Where 13twelve = Signal.

There, that'll teach me.
posted by Richard Daly at 5:44 AM on January 23, 2006

descriptivists can K.M.A.

Krush My Automobile?

And complainers can capitali[z|s]e sentences, right?
posted by eriko at 5:48 AM on January 23, 2006

Krush Meiner Auto! (I think)
posted by clevershark at 6:18 AM on January 23, 2006

descriptivists can K.M.A.

My new rallying cry! Thanks signal.
posted by Turtles all the way down at 6:59 AM on January 23, 2006

The Peugeot 307 has been particularly notorious, even for a french car, being prone to spontaneous combustion when parked, prompting car ferries to disconnect the battery of passengers' 307s. Oh and how can you call a car with J.Lo's ass ugly?
posted by insomnus at 7:42 AM on January 23, 2006

He shoud have or he should've, dammit.

I think 13twelve is just channeling the Peugeot owner who says things like, "I was fed up of being told that it was only my car..."
posted by at 7:44 AM on January 23, 2006

Crushing is good.

An alternative (Google video).
posted by caddis at 8:12 AM on January 23, 2006

The problem is obvious after reading through his list of problems: his car is polluting! Why else would all those anti pollution faults appearing? His car is telling him that he needs to stop driving around and do some walking or maybe use some public transportation.
posted by rand at 9:53 AM on January 23, 2006

Thermite? I don't know, man. Even that pales in comparison to the scene in Cremaster 3 where a group of cars wheel around in a room in the Chrysler building and reduce another car to a tiny twisted piece of scrap metal.
posted by ubersturm at 10:08 AM on January 23, 2006

Man oh man. I thought I had it bad when I needed an entirely new engine on my brand new car -- at eight thousand miles. I also have engine detonation (on both engines, so it's a design flaw) around 2000rpm once the car warms up, a passenger-side window channel that keeps turning inside out (and now the window won't stay in the channel), and an accelerator that stuck three times in a month before I pulled the floor mat out altogether (the mat wouldn't stay on the peg designed to hold it for more than a few hours), and so on.

Funny thing is, it's a 2004, and we have the same model from 2000 -- the difference? The company that makes the cars was bought out by a French auto manufacturer in late 2000, and they pushed the company back to profitability quickly by throwing all their long-standing vendor relationships out the window in favor of cheaper suppliers.

As a result, our 2000 continues to be reliable (except for a transmission replacement at 56,000mi, before the powertrain warranty ran out), but our 2004 is a disaster.
posted by davejay at 10:58 AM on January 23, 2006

the french free our hatedom!
posted by isopraxis at 1:23 PM on January 23, 2006

eriko writes 'And complainers can capitali[z|s]e sentences, right?'

well, actually, as regards capitalization, i'm a descriptivist. hey, i never said i was consistent!
posted by signal at 5:02 PM on January 23, 2006

NinjaPirate writes "Citröen have always made the most eye-meltingly ugly cars""

A matter of taste, I suppose, but I happen to think this and this are both very beautiful indeed.

And as for the 307 buyers problems - that's why I won't buy new cars any more. Too many bells, whistles and computers to go wrong. I just bought a 15 year old Ford with 50k on the clock. It certainly isn't pretty or fast, but it gets me from a to b. And if it's broken into (I live in London - so a fair chance) or dies - well, it was only cheap, so no great loss. I've been down the new-car route before, and I've decided it's a mug's game.
posted by coach_mcguirk at 5:20 PM on January 23, 2006

5 if he bukakke's the car.
posted by Citizen Premier at 8:43 PM on January 23, 2006

Citröen made the Traction Avant, ID19, DS and SM.

I reckon they're just about the best looking mass produced (and affordable) cars ever made (except the SM which was not built in large numbers).
posted by davehat at 12:20 AM on January 24, 2006

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