I'm ready, Jesus!
March 13, 2006 5:15 PM   Subscribe

I just had my first ever religious experience while surfing the web. Warning: embedded audio. Play it loud.
posted by grumblebee (57 comments total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: posted previously.

Those jostling heads...
posted by fire&wings at 5:18 PM on March 13, 2006

If music could blind...
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 5:20 PM on March 13, 2006

OMG who are those Pythonesque heads up in the corner?

They're even funnier if you set it to play Elvis.
posted by CunningLinguist at 5:24 PM on March 13, 2006

I wish it were Elvis singing the hymn though.
posted by CunningLinguist at 5:26 PM on March 13, 2006

Medicinal marijuana is a hell of a drug.
posted by machaus at 5:27 PM on March 13, 2006

No matter how much Melanie Greve made for that, it wasn't enough. Brilliant!
posted by ktoad at 5:33 PM on March 13, 2006

Woah... There's a creepy, nearly invisible blue eye in the bottom left that blinks when you mouse over!
posted by SmileyChewtrain at 5:36 PM on March 13, 2006

This must be Web 3.0
posted by H. Roark at 5:36 PM on March 13, 2006

Lower righthand corner? Anybody?

Cross section of an eyeball, perhaps?
posted by parm=serial at 5:40 PM on March 13, 2006

posted by dejah420 at 5:44 PM on March 13, 2006

posted by eyeballkid at 5:48 PM on March 13, 2006

posted by mr_crash_davis at 5:49 PM on March 13, 2006

Ack! I can't see anything! I've been haXX0red by the devil-weed smoking Glaucoma freaks!

Oh, wait. *clicks 'allow flash from this site' option*

It's a miracle! I CAN SEE! And unfortunately, I can also hear! Ack! What the shit is this tinned death sucking away my essential vital essences!? DESTROY! DESTROY!!

*wishes it away to the cornfield*
posted by loquacious at 5:51 PM on March 13, 2006

Eye sea a repost.

But you know, well worth another look.
posted by roue at 5:52 PM on March 13, 2006

This site gave me glaucoma.
posted by hjo3 at 5:55 PM on March 13, 2006

My husband is an ophthalmologist. I so want to make that hymn his cell-phone ring tone!
posted by mothershock at 5:58 PM on March 13, 2006

Some wild scenes at the Glaucoma Ball. [Both slightly NSFW]
posted by tellurian at 5:59 PM on March 13, 2006

This belongs in the "Institutional Anthems from Hell" Hall of Fame, right next to "We Built This Starbucks" and the KPMG song.
posted by Artifice_Eternity at 6:06 PM on March 13, 2006

No. No. This HAS to be a joke.

The bobbing heads? The blinking invisible eye? These riveting lyrics to the f'ing Glaucoma Hymn?!:

Glaucoma, Glaucoma, Glaucoma
Constricting vision slowly
Halted by progress of science
Vision of a world united
Beyond all science knowing

Holy. F'ing. Crap.
posted by symphonik at 6:07 PM on March 13, 2006

Those big nights out can leave you a bit tired and emotional.
posted by tellurian at 6:15 PM on March 13, 2006

Looks like some self medicating at the glaucoma ball.
posted by Mr Mister at 6:18 PM on March 13, 2006

Of 50,000, this is #1, for my money. OUTSTANDING.
posted by dbiedny at 6:19 PM on March 13, 2006

Wow, the glaucoma scene is really happening.

Who knew?
posted by Artifice_Eternity at 6:19 PM on March 13, 2006

Downloaded, placed on iPod, ranked 5 STARS!
posted by sourwookie at 6:28 PM on March 13, 2006

...not my iPod though;) shhhhh......
posted by sourwookie at 6:29 PM on March 13, 2006

*salutes earnestly*

I am truly in awe of the glaucoma community.
posted by icosahedral at 6:35 PM on March 13, 2006

Oh. My. GOD. But this is so...so...


Words simply fail me. The heads, the music!

The heads!

I, too, have downloaded the song.
posted by darkstar at 6:37 PM on March 13, 2006

It took 50006 posts, but we've finally found it.

The best of the web.
posted by TwelveTwo at 6:39 PM on March 13, 2006

Now everybody will want glaucoma.
posted by sidereal at 6:40 PM on March 13, 2006

Meh. I had glaucoma before it was cool.
posted by soiled cowboy at 6:56 PM on March 13, 2006

Wow, this is amazing. Do you think you have to know anything about Glaucoma to attend the conference?
posted by Staggering Jack at 7:01 PM on March 13, 2006

If this were played in my parish, I'd go to mass.
posted by bloggerwench at 7:01 PM on March 13, 2006

ya what symphonik said..
posted by coyote's bark at 7:08 PM on March 13, 2006

Holy medicinal marijuana, Batman. Obviously, the one treatment everyone agrees works a bit has caught on big in the Glaucoma-conscious community. Doctor, my eyes, can you tell me what is wrong?
posted by fourcheesemac at 7:13 PM on March 13, 2006

Apologies for not noticing machaus beat me to the joke. My eyes were playing tricks on me after viewing that damn site.
posted by fourcheesemac at 7:15 PM on March 13, 2006

That's fucking awesome, would be better if I had some medical marijuana to help me with it.
posted by Eekacat at 7:27 PM on March 13, 2006

My brain just broke and poured out my ears.
posted by jmhodges at 7:33 PM on March 13, 2006

i just pokrd mu eyes ouyt/ i sti;; can;t gp to the bsll thouhf :9
posted by Falconetti at 7:44 PM on March 13, 2006

The internet has never made me laugh so hard in my entire life.
posted by sayitwithpie at 7:51 PM on March 13, 2006

WOW. I was never glad that I had glaucoma until today. Thanks grumblebee!
posted by AstroGuy at 8:16 PM on March 13, 2006

Hey... who put this on my iPod?!? ... And ranked it five stars?!? ...

Hm. Song's pretty cool, actually. Grey Havens here I come...! Uh. Um. [Now visiting the site...] Well, hm, the heads are... soothing, entertaining. I find myself fixated on them. Oh! And now the eye. The EYE. I... I think I see, now, what I must do.

But what did I do with my Myst DVD?
posted by Moody834 at 8:23 PM on March 13, 2006

this is amazing. SIDEBAR THIS NOW!

I'm serious.
posted by shmegegge at 8:29 PM on March 13, 2006

Well, that's a new strategy. You don't have to worry about your glaucoma after your eyeballs flee your skull. Pity about the collateral damage to the ears, though.
posted by agent at 8:30 PM on March 13, 2006

Moving to another orifice, who will seize the gauntlet and compose an anthem to cerumen? (Best mark it "fortissimo"!)
posted by rob511 at 8:30 PM on March 13, 2006

"Let's hold a fundraiser!"
"OK! I'll get the T-Rex statue, you paint some of your friends up like cats and zebras! By this time tomorrow, we'll be the belles of the ball in our traditional Royal Martian Space-Dresses!"
"YES! Leave the Sanity, take the arctic circle candy!"
"I see no way to end this."
"Now you will both die."
posted by stavrogin at 8:33 PM on March 13, 2006

Did anyone else receive the word of Zebra beamed directly into their brain by pink laser while viewing that?
posted by eyeballkid at 8:53 PM on March 13, 2006

I've been looking at these photos (some are NSFW) while listening to embedded audio Ode to Joy. It's like if Peter Greenaway made a slapstick comedy.
posted by hydrophonic at 8:55 PM on March 13, 2006

Do these three runway models look like they're all about to collide with eachother? And is the guy on the far right missing the entire show?

Furthermore, is it a sin to make fun of people who don't see as well as I do?
posted by gordie at 9:27 PM on March 13, 2006

I absolutely do not get even a single piece of this. This can't be real. It just can't.

My eye doctor has tested me for glaucoma about 20 times in the last 2 years. He keeps shaking his head and saying I'm "borderline". I've had my eyeball air-blasted, pen pressed, orange dyed, blue lighted, and laser mapped more than any person should have to. Maybe I need to flunk a couple.

What the hell are these people smoking anyway?

Oh. Right.
posted by Ynoxas at 9:32 PM on March 13, 2006

I checked WHOIS and found the domain is registered to SPB Academic Publishing in the Netherlands. I guess whoever came back last from the trip to the coffeeshop had to design the site. Awesome.
posted by rosemere at 10:32 PM on March 13, 2006

Wow - I just flashed-back to the golden days of Mirsky....
posted by The_Partridge_Family at 11:03 PM on March 13, 2006

I thought this was a funny picture, until I found the topless cat people.
posted by unmake at 11:23 PM on March 13, 2006

Wow again - I am *so* getting into glaucoma....
posted by The_Partridge_Family at 11:26 PM on March 13, 2006

Hmm... I wonder what hymn she's singing?
posted by The_Partridge_Family at 11:30 PM on March 13, 2006

First of all.. wow, just fucking wow.

Perhaps this is an indicator (from the "Code of Practice" menu link), as some others have stated more forthrightly, marijuana may be a factor?

"5.1 Where a member wishes to initiate a study in relation to medicinal products or devices he will first need to be aware that this is likely to be at his own risk. This would be particularly important where the product concerned is not authorised or where an authorised product is being tested for an ‘off label’ use. Accordingly it should be confirmed that the question of insurance has been addressed. Requests for products from Industry for non-sponsored studies will normally only be fulfilled on the basis that the member acknowledges the foregoing issues."
posted by symbioid at 12:35 AM on March 14, 2006

posted by thirteenkiller at 2:53 AM on March 14, 2006

If it isn't real, it could only be by Komar & Melamid- you know, these guys.
posted by paul_smatatoes at 3:45 AM on March 14, 2006

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