Or would that be the non-evil twin?
March 15, 2006 8:49 AM   Subscribe

It was his EVIL TWIN! Remember Claud Allen, the bush administration domestic pollicy assistant who got busted for shoplifting? Turns out it might have been his twin brother. Jean Schmidt (R-OH, best known for calling John Murtha a coward) may be using the same excuse for calling College Republicans "Little Hitlers" in the 1980s
posted by delmoi (43 comments total)
An artistic composition of Republicans?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 8:51 AM on March 15, 2006

I would think that if it were really as simple as his twin brother, it would have been corrected in the media by now. While its logical for a stranger to perhaps confuse them by appearance, here's what his stepmom had to say from a NY Times article yesterday:

"It's just the darnedest thing," Renee Allen, their stepmother, said from her retirement home in Atlanta. "I actually started to call Floyd to ask him what happened, but then I saw it wasn't him."
posted by Atreides at 8:56 AM on March 15, 2006

hopefully, just before this world crumbles apart, i will have completed my small long distance spaceship, which i will put my infant son into. i will launch him far away to another planet with a different colored sun, imbuing him with superpowers with which he can save that distant world from the same fate as our own.

and, just for the record, he has no twin.
posted by poppo at 8:58 AM on March 15, 2006

As clear a case of temporal dopplegangers I've never read.

Listen: it was almost certainly some glitch in the timeline being sorted out by Doc Brown, his dog Einstein, and his intrepid new second-in-command, Jean Schmidt.

Don't worry: I'm sure they set everything right and Biff got what he deserved.

Also, funny how Schmidt's grandmother and daughter look identical to her.

I hope they remember to pack extra plutonium.
posted by CheeseburgerBrown at 9:03 AM on March 15, 2006

Life simulates General Hospital.

I hate to say it, this makes more sense to me than a high level government official who makes (I assume) big bucks going out of his way to steal $5000 (or so I forget the figure)

Or in other words what bcveen said
posted by deliquescent at 9:05 AM on March 15, 2006

Not being a Bush appointee, Floyd no doubt has an alabi. As well as self-accountability.
posted by Smart Dalek at 9:09 AM on March 15, 2006

These guy are just too much fun. How many days in a row have we had fresh meat like this?

If Claud was working for Bush, why is Floyd the evil one?
posted by BillyElmore at 9:10 AM on March 15, 2006

I don't buy it. The guy in the mugshot doesn't have a goatee.
posted by brundlefly at 9:12 AM on March 15, 2006

The article in Newsweek this week made it sound like the police became suspicious after they looked at Claude Allen's credit card receipts and noticed a history of buying expensive items and returning them right afterward. This would fit with his M.O., which was to use receipts from purchased items to get cash back. So that would still implicate Claude, wouldn't it?
posted by elquien at 9:18 AM on March 15, 2006

Jean Schmidt is 'Stick a Fork in Her' done.

The usual suspects in the 2nd District are circling for a primary fight and some are accusing her of falsely claiming endorsements.

The GOP only attacks their own on this large a scale on orders from above.
posted by Mick at 9:19 AM on March 15, 2006

God damn. I wish I had a twin brother I could blame for the wack-ass shit I do. Like use the phrase "wack-ass shit." It wasn't me, I swear, it was Astro Zombie 2!
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:20 AM on March 15, 2006

Throw him in the agony booth!
posted by EarBucket at 9:21 AM on March 15, 2006

The police also got his license plate number from the store's surveillance video. Which means that Claude's evil twin stole his car and his credit cards, drove to the store, pulled off this retail fraud and had the store charge the money to Claude's credit cards. . .two dozen times.
posted by EarBucket at 9:23 AM on March 15, 2006

it's definitely Claude--it was his car and his cards, and he told the WH it was a misunderstanding, but didn't say it wasn't him.

If Schmidt ever had had an evil twin, she threw a bucket of water on her years ago, melting her into the putrid ooze that animates them.
posted by amberglow at 9:25 AM on March 15, 2006

posted by Dr-Baa at 9:40 AM on March 15, 2006

Old news. A later post in TPM (which you point to in your post) now says it probably wasn't the brother.
posted by 327.ca at 9:43 AM on March 15, 2006

Does Floyd Allen have a mustasche?
posted by iamck at 9:45 AM on March 15, 2006

Surely Floyd is too busy with The Electric Mayhem to be stealing?!
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:58 AM on March 15, 2006

The only thing worse than Collage Republicans is Decoupage Republicans.
posted by CRM114 at 9:58 AM on March 15, 2006

Bush Blames Missteps on Evil Twin: ... the President said his evil twin, Phil Bush, had on occasion taken control of the executive office and led America astray.

“It’s just sort of embarrasing,” the President said, “but Phil liked hanging out at the White House. Next thing I know he’s making spitballs out of my PDBs, sending in troops to Iraq, and talking up what a ‘heck of a job’ Brownie was doing. This guy was just a terror....

posted by amberglow at 9:58 AM on March 15, 2006

"Turns out it might have been his twin brother."

No it doesn't. His arrest wasn't based on some fuzzy surveillance video or a shaky eyewitness account. And even his lawyer hasn't suggested that; rather a "mixup" with the credit card company, which is pathetic.
But thanks for spreading the GOP talking point from a couple days ago.
posted by 2sheets at 10:00 AM on March 15, 2006

The only thing worse than Collage Republicans is Decoupage Republicans.

It's the Décolletage Republicans that worry me most.
posted by 327.ca at 10:04 AM on March 15, 2006

Decoupage Demmocrats in 2008!
posted by freebird at 10:23 AM on March 15, 2006

Wait - Claude Allen's twin brother is Jean Schmidt ?

That explains a lot!
posted by Kirth Gerson at 10:28 AM on March 15, 2006

Actually Jean Schmidt had a good twin, but Jean made damn sure that nobody will ever find the body.
posted by clevershark at 10:38 AM on March 15, 2006

What about bricolage republicans? Too close to DaDa democrats?
posted by shoepal at 11:02 AM on March 15, 2006

Well, this makes sense. If the "it wasn't me, it was the one-armed man" won't work for obvious reasons, the next item on the checklist is "it was my evil twin." That is, if there's no viable way to blame it on terrorists.
posted by goatdog at 11:13 AM on March 15, 2006

Surely Floyd is too busy with The Electric Mayhem to be stealing?!

That would be Sergeant Floyd Pepper, ROU_Xenophobe. No relation, I'm sure. Dr. Teeth would never allow it.
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:18 AM on March 15, 2006


Uh, what?

I think this is the point where the rubber leaves the road. You can’t avoid internal struggle within an orthodoxy and at some level that struggle becomes internalized. It pervades the language, the education and the intercourse of the adherents. At some point the leaders of such an orthodoxy face either recognizing corruption of the principles and sacrificing themselves for the sake of the ethic or ceding principle to absolute opportunism to maintain their grip on power.

This is recognizable as a symptom of systemic schizophrenia. It either gets better and they let or are forced to acknowlege reality or it gets worse.
And we’ve seen where that has gotten us in the past.
posted by Smedleyman at 11:36 AM on March 15, 2006

As deliquescent points out above -- already under discussion in previous thread: Former White House Aide Arrested on Theft Charges: Claude Alexander Allen.

That being said ... the AP reports today: "Ex-Bush Aide Admitted Theft, Documents Say."
posted by ericb at 11:36 AM on March 15, 2006

Mod note: fixed fpp typo
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 11:40 AM on March 15, 2006

The idea of an opposite twin is apparently irresistible to the world of fiction (Adaptation anyone?), but in real life the opposite twin is rare on the ground. Truth is that if he has a criminal brother, to me, it makes him even more likely guilty (not less as the spin tells us), because whatever law-abiding pose he's been putting on, it suggests underneath the strong predisposition to crime was always there.
posted by dgaicun at 11:41 AM on March 15, 2006

uh, did I call them "collage" republicans?
posted by delmoi at 12:04 PM on March 15, 2006

I guess I did. buy the shirt (rest of site may not be SFW)
posted by delmoi at 12:08 PM on March 15, 2006

I guess I did. buy the shirt (rest of site may not be SFW)

You just linked to a site devoted to the sale of "funny" shirts with pro-rape and pro-pedophilia messages? What the fuck is wrong with you?
posted by MaxVonCretin at 12:28 PM on March 15, 2006

How's about Frottage Republicans? Fromage Republicans?
posted by BigLankyBastard at 1:01 PM on March 15, 2006

posted by CRM114 at 1:53 PM on March 15, 2006

It's this sort of thing that wrecks it for people who legitimately have evil twins. Like Nick Cheney, for instance.
posted by maryh at 3:52 PM on March 15, 2006

You know, isn't it interesting how the left - or 'sinister' - twin is invariably the evil one. I had this theory that... Wait a minute!
posted by Pinback at 6:46 PM on March 15, 2006

President was the GOP "evil twin" for several years.
And then it was Osama and Saddam for a while.
Gotta have a goat handy when you're extra sinful.
posted by nofundy at 10:19 AM on March 16, 2006

... President Clinton ... above ...
posted by nofundy at 10:19 AM on March 16, 2006

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