Who wants to be a superhero?

March 15, 2006 5:35 PM

Who wants to be a superhero? Forget Survivor. Forget Beauty and the Geek. This is the ultimate reality show. Who wouldn't want to see a middle-aged comic-book geeks decked out to fight crime? Apply now! Our safety depends upon it! (Maybe Peter Pan would be interested?)
posted by jdroth (22 comments total)

I'm sure at least two or three of our heroes will not be middle-aged geeks. There may even be a hot young sexy person or two.

My superpowers:

The ability to scan a tag sale for valuable items in five seconds flat. From the car.

The ability to convincingly praise children's art projects.

Also, I keep most of the tornados out of Vermont.
posted by longsleeves at 6:07 PM on March 15, 2006

I wanna be a superbhero, or failing that, a suburbhero.
posted by NewBornHippy at 6:08 PM on March 15, 2006

 
posted by secret about box at 6:15 PM on March 15, 2006

Our Superheroes will be tested for courage, integrity, self-sacrifice, compassion, and resourcefulness, all traits that every Superhero must possess

A reality show where people are supposed to be nice. Plus stupid outfits. It's either brilliant or diabolical and possibly both.

A supervillian reality show would be much more fun, though. If the entire point is to betray your team, it would be like LARPing Paranoia. Plus stupid outfits.
posted by Sparx at 6:16 PM on March 15, 2006

Did you see that? My superhero power is invisibility.
posted by secret about box at 6:16 PM on March 15, 2006

I've always told my wife that my superhero power is organization. She just laughs at that.
posted by jdroth at 6:19 PM on March 15, 2006

I have exactly enough beer in me for this to be a Good Idea.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:19 PM on March 15, 2006

Aspiring Übermenschen must consult the following threads: 47199 and 42314. (I must be SuperSearcher™.)
posted by rob511 at 6:24 PM on March 15, 2006

My superpower will be the ability to shoot Heifer Farms Brand Fruit-on-the-Bottom All-Natural-Style Yogurt (partially hydrogenated) from my armpits. Oh, and I want to squeak with every movement I make.
posted by davelog at 6:46 PM on March 15, 2006

My superpower shall be to assign appropriate superpowers to other people...at lightning speed!

no guarantees on accuracy or suitability
posted by davejay at 6:56 PM on March 15, 2006

I was convinced I had the "never get searched in airports" superpower, but sadly I broke my four year streak last week. Tear.

See also this wonderful episode of This American Life: Superpowers. It's really fantastic. It's also being rebroadcast this weekend, if you want to listen live.
posted by heresiarch at 7:04 PM on March 15, 2006

Of course only the auditions will be hilarious, just like American Idol.

Last question of the application form:

Date of Execution: _____________

'nuf said.
posted by kika at 8:17 PM on March 15, 2006

Get your Micro Superheroes here.
posted by tellurian at 8:46 PM on March 15, 2006

My superpower: being an asshole.
posted by Meatbomb at 9:47 PM on March 15, 2006

My superhero name is the Brown Fog. I woule really rather not go into the details of my superpower.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:04 PM on March 15, 2006

Screw the contest. I'll just build my own Herkimer Battle Jitney.
posted by Smart Dalek at 3:54 AM on March 16, 2006

For aspiring superheroes, might I recommend (WARNING: SELF-LINK) The Government Bureau of Superheroics, and perhaps (WARNING: SELF-PROMOTION) The Government Manual for New Superheroes?
posted by yankeefog at 3:54 AM on March 16, 2006

Apparently, my superpower is killing threads with superselfpromotion. Supersorry about that.
posted by yankeefog at 10:56 AM on March 16, 2006

I don't think I would have a super power. But i would have a gadget or three.

The first one that comes to mind is a nonlethal CO2 (or NO2) powered projectile launcher, which is essentially a paintball gun taken apart. The air tank would go on my back; the hose would connect to the disassembled gun. the barrel would be mounted on my arm.... I haven't figured out how the loader would work without looking stupid, though...
posted by bugmuncher at 11:36 AM on March 16, 2006

If I read the thing correctly, they are going to have to stay in a house together, and stay in character at all times. I can imagine this happening:

RandomGirl: Superman just took a Superdump and now the toilet won't flush.

Superman: It wasn't me! It was SuperDog!
posted by Suparnova at 2:44 PM on March 16, 2006

I am the wonderchicken. Amongst my many powers are the ability to tranform beer into pee, and the ability to infurate people from either end of the political spectrum.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 8:29 PM on March 16, 2006

Looking at the prizes, well, this is one contest I'd hate to win. (Stan Lee came up with some great characters, but he honestly can't write for shit- and if you come up with the character, what is there left?)
posted by Hactar at 9:41 PM on March 16, 2006