Hint: Did you shoot the puppy? Then don't do that again.
March 16, 2006 9:25 AM   Subscribe

Don't Shoot the Puppy. RRRRThats5Rs, maker of truly pointless games, has made the opposite of every shoot-em-up on the Internet. (Warning, the "truly pointless" link, like many games on the site, is a total waste of time.)
posted by CrunchyFrog (48 comments total)
 
"truly pointless"

A very apt description...and yet for some reason I still wasted time on it.
posted by mystyk at 9:28 AM on March 16, 2006


ya, i dont know why, but this was very satisfying
posted by rosswald at 9:35 AM on March 16, 2006


Don't Shoot the Puppy is cute, and very pointless. After level three I wanted to kill him so badly, but I stuck it out until level six, got him a bouncy red ball, and then blasted him.
posted by iconomy at 9:36 AM on March 16, 2006


How Much is surprisingly entertaining.
posted by hoverboards don't work on water at 9:41 AM on March 16, 2006


There's no way not to shoot that dog. It's impossible.
posted by ColdChef at 9:44 AM on March 16, 2006


sure there is.
posted by puke & cry at 9:46 AM on March 16, 2006 [1 favorite]


My God, 'How Much' is brilliant.
posted by dougunderscorenelso at 9:49 AM on March 16, 2006


I got to level 6 on "Don't make mommy cry" without seeing the text (stupid linux flash plugin shows three empty boxes). I still can't not shoot the dog, though.
posted by devbrain at 9:50 AM on March 16, 2006


Shoot The Dog?
posted by grabbingsand at 9:51 AM on March 16, 2006


You can definitely choose not to shoot the dog.
posted by iconomy at 9:51 AM on March 16, 2006


These both made me laugh quite a bit. Thanks for sharing!
posted by Dr-Baa at 9:52 AM on March 16, 2006


Cool
posted by blahblahblah at 9:53 AM on March 16, 2006


Oh, good grief! I worked out how to not shoot the puppy. May I claw my eyes out now? Please.
posted by devbrain at 9:58 AM on March 16, 2006


My record on not shooting the puppy is 28 seconds (level 2).
posted by justkevin at 9:58 AM on March 16, 2006


I liked the psych-out on level 3, by which I mean to say I fell for it.
posted by jenovus at 9:58 AM on March 16, 2006


I was at level 7 and then got a stupid ad! I hate ads and had to click to make it go away. AWAY! And then I lost.
posted by kika at 9:59 AM on March 16, 2006


Hahah, I figured out how to not shoot the puppy!

Also, 'how much' is awsome.
posted by delmoi at 10:01 AM on March 16, 2006


how much is the best.

i love the whole idea of all of these games.
posted by teishu at 10:01 AM on March 16, 2006


It says I lost, but why does it feel like I won?
posted by Durhey at 10:02 AM on March 16, 2006


Level 7 of Don't Shoot the Puppy is horribly cruel. I will never see level 8. If anyone does, tell me how it goes!
posted by gurple at 10:14 AM on March 16, 2006


Okay--I figured it out.

That's sadistic as hell.
posted by Prospero at 10:14 AM on March 16, 2006


Truly awesome
posted by mrnutty at 10:16 AM on March 16, 2006


Okay, I finally won. I love how the levels get progressively "harder" (there are 15 in all).
posted by justkevin at 10:17 AM on March 16, 2006


LEVEL 11 GRRRR

I love this game.
posted by chrominance at 10:20 AM on March 16, 2006


I got all the way to level 14, then somone IMed me, and I had to answer.
posted by splatta at 10:29 AM on March 16, 2006


Don't Shoot The Puppy Walkthrough Guide

Level 1: Don't shoot the puppy.
Level 2: Keep not shooting that puppy.
Level 3: Don't click the pop-up.
Level 4: Don't shoot the pokey little puppy.
Level 5: Don't shoot the puppy. Let the bastard suffer.
Level 6: Don't shoot the puppy with the red ball.
Level 7: Don't shoot the puppy chasing the red ball.
Level 8: Don't skip the level.
Level 9: Don't hammer the nail.
Level 10: Don't shoot the puppy-- BLINDFOLDED!
Level 11: Don't shoot the puppy with the invisible howitzer.
Level 12: Don't be fooled, you did click start.
Level 13: Run out the clock.
Level 14: Don't wake the puppy.
Level 15 (Final): Don't shoot Zeno's puppy.
posted by justkevin at 10:33 AM on March 16, 2006 [1 favorite]


Dammit! I know how the game works and yet I still can't win.

Stoopid puppy. I'm glad it's dead.
posted by slogger at 10:34 AM on March 16, 2006


I was also a big fan of Progress Quest. One time, I stayed an hour+ late at work to "level-up".
posted by devbrain at 10:35 AM on March 16, 2006


Oh my goodness.

Well, the library computer I'm using has a cheapo optical mouse, which keeps shooting the puppy for me. Poor puppy!
posted by Drexen at 10:43 AM on March 16, 2006


Proverbs the hypothetical game was fun. Let me know if anyone gets past level 8. I'm stuck.
posted by carsonb at 10:44 AM on March 16, 2006


This is brilliant. My hat's off to the designers.
posted by xthlc at 10:55 AM on March 16, 2006


OK, what am I missing here? I assume you progress by simply not pressing Start, but 10 minutes later, I'm still on level 1...
posted by salmacis at 11:07 AM on March 16, 2006


Get to the finish. It's fantastic!
posted by raedyn at 11:40 AM on March 16, 2006


you can just tab around the movie to press start and just watch. Kind of boring though.
posted by puke & cry at 12:19 PM on March 16, 2006 [1 favorite]


I was also a big fan of Progress Quest. One time, I stayed an hour+ late at work to "level-up".

Yeah, we used to compare progress quest characters at work. I was always really ripshit when I blue-screened my station because sometimes I lost PQ data.

This site is hilarious. I'm in awe. Get to the finish is my favorite.
posted by lumpenprole at 12:20 PM on March 16, 2006


salmacis, press start, but then - well - don't shoot the puppy. Maybe you need to be more careful?

Oh, and cheep infrared mice don't seem to work well with this game. I had to unplug mine.
posted by Richard Daly at 12:24 PM on March 16, 2006


How to win (spoilers):

it's not the clicking, it's any mouse movement, however small, post-click.

Thus the trick is to use the tab key to highlight the start button, then the space key to 'click' it. Then wait. x15.
posted by Sparx at 12:39 PM on March 16, 2006


I'm shooting the puppy right now, and I'm not even at my computer.
posted by CynicalKnight at 12:40 PM on March 16, 2006


I know of at least one shoot-em-up, Ikaruga, where you can get a special rank if you get through a level without firing your weapons. Of course, since this is a hardcore shoot-em-up full of enemies and lots and lots of bullets, this actually resembles some kind of accomplishment. And of course, since this is the Internet, there are videos of these accomplishments. (You'll notice they apparently still haven't figured out how to manage level 3 yet.) It's a cute way to try to play if you start getting bored of the normal game.

Ikaruga is so awesome....
posted by brett at 1:40 PM on March 16, 2006


Another worthy entry in the "games intended to drive you crazy" category: Click the colour and not the word.
posted by whir at 2:48 PM on March 16, 2006


That's cool, Brett. Kind of reminds me of an idea a friend of mine had to add a "Hippie" class to NetHack, in which you play as a pacifist and gain experience by hallucinating.
posted by arto at 3:19 PM on March 16, 2006


Damn, I shot the puppy. Damn, I shot the puppy, again. And again. I'm a puppy shootin' machine! Stupid puppies! Why do you keep standing in front of the gun?
posted by loquacious at 5:00 PM on March 16, 2006


Brett, the rank is "Dot Eater" (re: Pac-Man)

I was a tester on the US release of that game... it's a very hard game.
posted by Durhey at 5:20 PM on March 16, 2006


argh. stupid level 12.
posted by juv3nal at 8:42 PM on March 16, 2006


Shot the puppy on level 15. I was sick of him by that stage.
posted by Jimbob at 3:37 AM on March 17, 2006


the puppy was asking for it.
posted by bondcliff at 10:39 AM on March 17, 2006


Oh boy, I'm a doofus. I've been successfully not shooting the puppy (computer #2) for over 24 hours now. Then (computer #1) I worked out how to not shoot the puppy AND get to level 2.

D'oh.
posted by devbrain at 2:35 PM on March 17, 2006


It's all about the Kobayashi Maru. I just alt-tabbed a new browser over game and waited for the puppy to do his thing.
posted by bpm140 at 9:01 AM on March 18, 2006


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