Phi is the PHIRE of LIFE
April 5, 2006 3:35 PM   Subscribe

Bah! Dan Winter is just EDUCATED STUPID!

Seriously, is this schizophrenia at work? Where do these wackos find the time to write such staggering, self-referential untestable weirdness?
posted by 5MeoCMP at 3:39 PM on April 5, 2006

This is total nonsense. Anyone with any scientific training will recognise this as pseudo-scientific hogwash. It is completely obvious that by ignoring the power of emdibdamalized crystals they are causing a break in the flow of Feng Shui throughout the area.

On the other hand their innovative use of 'c wave self-similar waves' is worthy of note. We will all have to adjust our spiritual capacitons to include their calculations in this field to take account of the fractality induced across the aural wave spectrum.
posted by sien at 3:41 PM on April 5, 2006

I certainly have. Wait, what?
posted by keswick at 3:47 PM on April 5, 2006

"thanks to Jean Paul B. -who may be one of Europe's leading FUSION Physicists - who got an altogether new smile on his face when we explained to him..."
posted by StickyCarpet at 3:56 PM on April 5, 2006

Note to self: Never show a schizophrenic how to use Crystal Reports.
posted by empath at 4:04 PM on April 5, 2006

Have you ever noticed how pulling data out of your ass does not preserve its freshness as well as acquiring it from real science?
posted by qvantamon at 4:07 PM on April 5, 2006

I can just here Gene Ray saying "Oh, it's on, bitch!"
posted by adamrice at 4:14 PM on April 5, 2006

err, hear.
posted by adamrice at 4:14 PM on April 5, 2006

I made pyramid cheese as a school project back in the 70's.

No one would taste it.
posted by krix at 4:17 PM on April 5, 2006

posted by p3on at 4:20 PM on April 5, 2006

posted by boo_radley at 4:23 PM on April 5, 2006

The TRUTH is OUT THERE, baby.
posted by Wolfdog at 4:29 PM on April 5, 2006

Normally I just snicker as these and move on but this was indeed breathtaking. That is a neutron star of insanity.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 4:31 PM on April 5, 2006

I think Shonen Knife have a song called "Potato Fresh Measure" on their first album.
posted by Dr. Wu at 4:32 PM on April 5, 2006

Myth Busted?
posted by davidnin at 4:34 PM on April 5, 2006

This is why I wear pyramidal PHI powered underpants. Not only does it unnaturally enhance the appearance of my area, it keeps my essential bodily fluids fresh and pure.
posted by loquacious at 4:51 PM on April 5, 2006

The phrae "electrically potent underwear pheromes" alone makes it all worth it.

*updates cool band names database*
posted by loquacious at 5:13 PM on April 5, 2006

It's not polite to make fun of the mentally ill.
posted by Smedleyman at 5:36 PM on April 5, 2006

Yea, this WAS busted on mythbusters.
posted by snsranch at 5:43 PM on April 5, 2006

Breathtaking indeed. Best of the Web. Thank you boo_radley.

There's a crackpot I've been thinking of FPPing for a long while, who has this same level of loquacity. A taste:
From November 1990 to May 1990, I live with head in porcelain toilet to protect my brain from tronic beams and bombardment by microwave particles. Mrs. Chen never thought to think. On three times that year, they shut off my water. I see one white man and two white men near my door, men with tools like plumber. I think they are shutting off my water to make me get rid of porcelain toilet. In prison all toilets are made of tin and no protection from police gaurds and EM sleep waves and tronic goggles from FBI.
Here's some of his recent stuff. He had a massive, massive homepage at some point that I can no longer locate. I've never had the energy to read that much of it though.
posted by Aknaton at 5:46 PM on April 5, 2006

I saw this on mythbusters the other day. Sadly they only did one of each, if I was doing it I'd have used 10 of each, since it was obvious that rotting isn't a uniform process.
posted by Space Coyote at 5:50 PM on April 5, 2006

Consciousness is an electrically implosive jellyfish like gravity making charge field that sucks its way thru the Universe growing until it can choreograph the birth of stars sustainably - from within its own electrical FIRE!

What about the squids?
posted by jmhodges at 6:10 PM on April 5, 2006

Ouch. Now if you'll excuse me, I must go wash my eyes out with Dr. Bronner's.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 6:46 PM on April 5, 2006

Oh, and French Canadian Bean Soup.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 6:46 PM on April 5, 2006

It's not polite to make fun of the mentally ill.
I'm laughing at the tomato freshness plot, not the guy that made the tomato freshness plot.
posted by Wolfdog at 6:50 PM on April 5, 2006

a very fun previous post and comment
the key to originality is good source concealment
the PHI is embedded everywhen!
posted by hortense at 8:37 PM on April 5, 2006

Metafilter: the ultimate way to unlock the key to maintaining the PHIre of life!
posted by lalochezia at 8:44 PM on April 5, 2006


Do you suffer from any of the following? Fatigue, dry mouth, warts, hypertension, jaundice, hypoglycemia, cracked hair, skin failure, diarrhea, hypotension, crunchy boogers, night sweats, fungal infections, constipation, diabetes, leaky gut syndrome, leaky brain syndrome, gouty teeth, tennis elbow, yellow fever, cold or flu symptoms, unstoppable humming, sucking chest wounds, arthritis, syphillis, green eyes, hirsutism, insomnia, coughs, athlete's foot, chest pains, general protection faults, hardened arteries, razor burn, appendicitis, irritable bowler syndrome, gum in hair, tendonitis, hay fever, sunburn, dwarfism, tremors, palsy, amputations, lost grooves, photophobia, ambidexterity, black water fever, hickeys, kidney failure, necrophilia, dandruff, bulemia, back spasms, satyrism, myopia, depression, shortness of breath, pugilism, androgeny, rabies, small pox, mania, mitosis, scabies, pneumonia, happiness, edema, malaise, flesh-eating bacteria, cramps, tourette's syndrome, itching, gall stones, myocardial infarctions, ulcers, rampaging hormones, lycanthropy, yawning, cannibalism, or numerous other disorders?

You need suffer no longer! A Pyramid Hat, worn properly, will fix you right up!

posted by cenoxo at 9:54 PM on April 5, 2006

Pseudo- what? There are graphs for Christ's sake. Graphs!
posted by OmieWise at 6:03 AM on April 6, 2006

I'm planning on building an untethered triangular mylar dirigible with lifter propulsion system.

No, really.

You can build a simple lifter in about 30 minutes and power it with an old color monitor. Plans and instructions are available on the site above. Kids all over build these things for science projects.

The most interesting question about these is how do they work? The standard answer is "ion wind", except here is an experiment with one end of the capacitor completely enclosed in a vacuum tube that still works.

TEST RESULTS:When the power supply is switched on, the Lifter begins to move in the direction of the wire as a common Lifter. There is neither corona effect nor ion wind effect in the vacuum tube, there is no hissing sound and the lifter moves very silently.
posted by Enron Hubbard at 7:07 AM on April 6, 2006

Hey, those lifters look like a fun and super-easy project. The hardest part to get would be the power supply and that's nothing.
posted by sonofsamiam at 1:50 PM on April 6, 2006

Looking into lifters further, check out this experiment from Enron's link.

It shows an attraction through a box. There's no way that could be ion wind.

And look at these tests.

I'm amazed you can get such a dramatic effect with so little equipment.
posted by sonofsamiam at 5:44 AM on April 7, 2006

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