Zzzt.
April 12, 2006 2:22 PM   Subscribe

 
So what's so shocking?
posted by Joeforking at 2:25 PM on April 12, 2006


More here under "that's gotta hurt" (near bottom of the page).
posted by Smedleyman at 2:25 PM on April 12, 2006


Like the exclaimation point!!!
posted by kgasmart at 2:26 PM on April 12, 2006


I mean if it is a full-blown offensive weapon just say so.
posted by Joeforking at 2:27 PM on April 12, 2006


Ow, eh?
(it's made in Canada)
posted by Smedleyman at 2:30 PM on April 12, 2006




I know most people will poke fun — if this thing works I want one.

One of the most discouraging and frustrating things about practicing Karate empty-hand against knife work was convincing people that 90% of the shit they were doing with rubber knives would get them sliced and diced with a real one.

When I finally and thankfully gave up karate and moved to FMA — an art that supposedly specialized in Knife work — though definitely an improvement over karate, I found much the same thing: An over reliance on completely impractical and unworkable disarms.

Our only alternative for realistic training was to tape out 95% of the a live blade and keep the tip active for knife sparring. Yeah. You can imagine bleeding all the time really sucks.
posted by tkchrist at 2:33 PM on April 12, 2006


They should create a knife that is sharp AND shocks you. For ultra-super-serious-secret-no-holds-barred-real-life-brutal training. Anything else is for wussies.
posted by gurple at 2:34 PM on April 12, 2006


I'd say I have no words, but really, I do, they're just all "Ow" and "Why?"

Okay, I kind of understand -why-, but I mean, the statement "For the first time we now have a true pain-but-not-injury inducing knife training device. " is pretty damn false. Century sells wooden 'knives' that - well, okay, you're not getting slashed or electrocuted with them, but they hurt when someone pokes/slashes/hits you with one.
posted by FritoKAL at 2:35 PM on April 12, 2006


That's got to be Bob MacDonald doing the narration. Ahh, that brings back memories.
posted by blue_beetle at 2:40 PM on April 12, 2006


COMING SOON:
SHOCKNIFE PROTECTIVE SHEATH


Shocknife will be offering a custom designed sheath for the SK-1. This will allow Instructors and Role Players to carry the knife in a convenient protective sheath while the product is not in use. It will also allow Role Players to safely conceal the knife without the risk of accidentally activating the Shocknife and shocking themselves.


Maybe they should have thought of that sheath idea sooner...
posted by Artifice_Eternity at 2:41 PM on April 12, 2006


Frito: A knife, sliding across your forearm is very bad. A wooden knife sliding across your forearm is not going to be noticed in training usualy. So this would be pretty damned handy for a serious trainer.
posted by Shutter at 2:43 PM on April 12, 2006


This will allow Instructors and Role Players...

Aha. I think we have our second target market right here. LARPers and Foam Sword Folk take heed!
posted by gurple at 2:46 PM on April 12, 2006


This would be awesome if they could amp it up and make it, like, burn people. Also, if it was super sharp and shaped like a snake, that would be cool too.
posted by Pollomacho at 2:47 PM on April 12, 2006


I agree with Gurple. Can these be sharpened?
posted by horsewithnoname at 2:58 PM on April 12, 2006


This would also be a great name for a musical.
posted by Astro Zombie at 3:06 PM on April 12, 2006


Our only alternative for realistic training was to tape out 95% of the a live blade and keep the tip active for knife sparring. Yeah. You can imagine bleeding all the time really sucks.

I hope you're HIV testing your sparring partners.
posted by CRM114 at 3:07 PM on April 12, 2006


My knife goes all the way up to X+1.
posted by crunchland at 3:09 PM on April 12, 2006


tkchrist - it works well enough for training. You don’t get the psychological response from advanced fighters, but it’s great for the physical reaction. Hurts about as much as a stun gun. Your tough guys will shrug it off, but you can work with the initial response to the hit. There’s no question whether you would have been cut or not. It’s better than an ink or hot knife or taping, or those chalk edge ones. It’s perfect for intermediate students. (And you can scare the hell out of the novices).

I’m not promoting the thing. I just like ‘em myself. And I thought the website was cheezy. In a nifty ‘Gurney Halleck’ way.
posted by Smedleyman at 3:21 PM on April 12, 2006


As a teenager, "Designed for Police Use" or similar phrases pretty much translated to "Get one of these fuckers by hook or by crook and you will be the coolest person ever." And what the hell kind of padded armor is the dude in the first page wearing? And the obvious--How will the Shocknife be used for sex and/or masturbation purposes?
posted by bardic at 3:24 PM on April 12, 2006


At first I thought it was designed to be an offensive weapon and my reaction was "stupid."

As a training aid, I can see it being rather useful. Learn to overcome/control/realize for the body's autonomic/reflex reaction to pain.
posted by PurplePorpoise at 3:33 PM on April 12, 2006


I was pretty skeptical, too, but it does seem to make sense for training.

Since the electricity is flowing into the trainees skin there will be no sparks.

Lines like this one still seem a little unpleasant, but I guess there's a lot of unpleasantness inherent in an occupation in which you expect to get into knife fights.

Purchase Orders accepted for Law Enforcement, Corrections, and Military customers only

This might be a dumb question, but how do they know?
posted by Squid Voltaire at 3:34 PM on April 12, 2006


This might be a dumb question, but how do they know?

Exactly.
posted by bardic at 3:37 PM on April 12, 2006


How to use it as a sex toy?

Just make it look like this.
posted by Astro Zombie at 4:03 PM on April 12, 2006


I was hoping this was a knife with a taser built in so you could stab someone and then make them jump around like a frog on an electric grid.

And then I realized its a training tool.

Speaking of tools, the photo of the inventor makes him look like a total tool. Take off the body armor for the photoshoot, dude.
posted by fenriq at 4:05 PM on April 12, 2006


It does not stand a chance against Gunknife!
posted by Mr_Zero at 4:13 PM on April 12, 2006


The gunknife actually goes back aways. Pirates used to tie hand muskets to sabers.
posted by bardic at 4:19 PM on April 12, 2006


I hope you're HIV testing your sparring partners.

Ah. So you see the problem. This was all "back in the day". Yes, we posted the "Bloodborne protocols" and crossed our fingers. But when HIV became more known this sort of training pretty much went out the window.

There’s no question whether you would have been cut or not. It’s better than an ink or hot knife or taping, or those chalk edge ones. It’s perfect for intermediate students. (And you can scare the hell out of the novices).

I've seen the results of a "Real Life (TM)" knife fight. It's disgusting.

Training bad habits is worse than training no habits IMHO. That said, refining the skill seriously doesn't interest me in anything other than as a dilettante martial practitioner.

I use the knife sparing drills from FMA for mostly footwork. It has good cross over applications for boxing, etc. My emphasis is on sport.

As far as drilling I think this just might do the trick for that.
posted by tkchrist at 4:24 PM on April 12, 2006


Yeah, I’ve always liked knives. Better than hush puppies.

Mr_Zero, I think you’re thinking of Shonenknife!
posted by Smedleyman at 4:35 PM on April 12, 2006


I want a baseball bat that will squirt acid and nag you about your life decisions.
posted by horsewithnoname at 4:55 PM on April 12, 2006


i want a Shocksword.

i too was prepared to scoff (and i'm still feeling it a little based on the silliness of the web page) but yeah, as a training tool i can kinda see this.
posted by quin at 5:04 PM on April 12, 2006


Meh. Little boys and their rough games. So dismal. I prefer Shonen Knife.
posted by Decani at 5:21 PM on April 12, 2006


Replica French and English flintlock/daggers. Kinda like single-handed version of bayonetted rifles.

Couldn't find a decent historical website - too many on-line store results.
posted by PurplePorpoise at 5:23 PM on April 12, 2006


Sharknife!
posted by MrBadExample at 6:12 PM on April 12, 2006


So when it mentions "training", does that mean that I can use it to train my kids, dogs, cats, neighbors, mailman and dog-walkers who let their dogs poop on my lawn?
posted by snsranch at 7:30 PM on April 12, 2006


"Shocknife" sounds an awful lot like the sort of low-level weapon you'd get in a bad SF themed RPG...
posted by Artw at 8:03 PM on April 12, 2006


So is that "shoc knife" or "shock nife"? Because either way, one of them things ain't a word.
posted by kindall at 9:17 PM on April 12, 2006


You can, quite easily, make your own. It will, obviously, lack the polish or the Shockife(TM) but taping an old camera flash mechanism to a rubber or wooden knife, with the capacitors electrodes wired to each side of the blade, will create the same effect. I did this in middle school.
posted by IronLizard at 10:03 PM on April 12, 2006


snsranch: For that, you can just use one of these. We found one in the shed at a friend's cottage one Labour Day weekend... and you can imagine the people getting woken up with it during the drunken wildness were NOT happy. :)
posted by antifuse at 2:05 AM on April 13, 2006


Do police really get martial-arts-style training in disarming knife-wielders? Who disarms knife-wielders for a living? I imagine commandos and marines and that ilk do. 100% no snark, this is a real question.
posted by hoverboards don't work on water at 3:45 AM on April 13, 2006


Cool. They make these for fencing foils?
posted by robocop is bleeding at 4:39 AM on April 13, 2006


"That's not a knoife, thisszszsszszszsz... ow, crikey!"
posted by Clamwacker at 5:14 AM on April 13, 2006


Never bring a Shocknife! to a gun fight.
posted by almostcool at 6:24 AM on April 13, 2006


Artw: Yes, it's pretty much what you start out with in Deus Ex. Only that, of course, was a great SF themed RPG.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 8:32 AM on April 13, 2006


hoverboards - Disarming techniques for armed police facing a man with a knife involve shooting him a lot until he isn't a threat any more.
posted by longbaugh at 8:40 AM on April 13, 2006


hoverboards: IANAPO, but longbaugh is incorrect -- police do receive hand-to-hand knife defense training. Typically they use something like this now -- with a rubberized or otherwise nonlethal edge. The practice knives can be marked with chalk to indicate a "score". The Shockknife appears to make the score a bit more realistic, giving some real pain to indicate that you've been hit. Also, it appears they are trying to bring a little spook factor: a plastic, non-lethal knife in the hands of an instructor looks like a plastic, non-lethal knife thats going to get you a bit chalky but so-says the marketing, this thing is going to be a bit meaner.
posted by Ogre Lawless at 12:52 PM on April 13, 2006


Further: I think the idea is that guns aren't always going to be an option -- close quarters, prisons, etc.
posted by Ogre Lawless at 12:58 PM on April 13, 2006


“Who disarms knife-wielders for a living? I imagine commandos and marines and that ilk do. 100% no snark, this is a real question.” -
posted by hoverboards don't work on water

I tend to go with longbaugh on that in terms of who does it for a living. If stealth is a concern there are silenced weapons. But there are specialized areas where guns aren’t an option (airplanes, nuclear facilities, subs, some prison areas). Also, in hand to hand combat knives are statistically far more lethal than guns and harder to evade in general. But your chances for surving a knife attack/fight can be improved with training. Essentially accepting that you are going to be cut and trying to limit cuts to non-lethal locations (outer arms mostly, shoulders).

In training like this you are training for the small amount of the time when you don’t have the option of doing what the guy with the knife wants you to do and you can’t shoot him and he has to be taken now. The guys who are the best at it right now are probably the air marshals for El Al.

Some police departments use rubberized batons shot out of shotguns when they have the time to get a unit out there.

In self defense terms - if you at all have the option - do what he says. Losing some cash and calling to cancel your credit cards are greatly preferable to death or even a lot of stitches (’cause again - you WILL get cut).
posted by Smedleyman at 11:36 AM on April 17, 2006


Ogre Lawless - It's not incorrect, it's standard practice if the suspect is threatening, non-responsive to verbal instruction etc. If you have no non-lethal alternative*1 and there is a threat to life then an officer will shoot, and officers don't shoot to wound, they shoot to disable (i.e. kill). This has been something that many people dislike since they feel that a person wielding a knife doesn't present that large a threat. Armed police officers, at least those in the UK, don't take the threat lightly and there are at least two or three highly publicised instances in the past 5 years that I can recall where lethal force was used against someone in public with a blade.

There have been at least a couple of instances of "suicide-by-cop" in the USA that I have heard about so it seems to me as if it would be the same over there. It's always worth keeping in mind how police officers are trained - there is not a whole lot of time learning self-defence. We're talking less than maybe 10-20 hours. Unless officers train outside of work or are forced to retake classes every so often then the amount of experience in disarming an individual with a blade is microscopic. Ask anyone who has practiced martial arts for a long time and nine times out of ten they'll say "don't mess with a person carrying a knife". The tenth time out of ten you'll be talking to someone who thinks that they have a chance to take it off the assailant and that's not a good idea. If you have a handgun and they have a knife, you shoot them. Sean Connery knows this.

I'll agree that El Al have the best airline security, they need to after all, but most law enforcement officers simply do not have the time needed to train effectively at disarming and this shows in the tactics used in traffic stops and elsewhere. I don't have an awful lot of confidence in the training that policement receive in my country and most others, there is simply too much to learn and retain and I honestly believe that in stressful situations the body responds pretty much automatically. Unless you've trained a lot at disarming someone then you are genuinely better off shooting them. You are under threat of lethal force in most places when a knife is being waved at you, responding in kind is self defence.

/wishes that people didn't carry knives or guns...

*1 Tasers don't count because your they have short enough a range that a charging man with a knife can cover the distance in a second. A baton or tonfa in the hands of a barely trained individual is no use.
posted by longbaugh at 5:56 AM on April 18, 2006


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