Average Homeboy
April 24, 2006 12:40 PM   Subscribe

 
No freaking way.
posted by jmhodges at 12:46 PM on April 24, 2006


sorta double...
posted by jonson at 12:51 PM on April 24, 2006


Yet another three minutes of my life wasted.
posted by fuerloins at 12:52 PM on April 24, 2006


I knew I had seen that somewhere. I, for one, am really blazed!
posted by brundlefly at 12:53 PM on April 24, 2006


Previously mentioned in this thread.

Unlike other (black) rappers, he doesn't live in a box on the streets or do drugs. How delightfully racist.
posted by cilantro at 12:53 PM on April 24, 2006


he was just expressing himself. Cougar bait.
posted by jsavimbi at 12:56 PM on April 24, 2006


Has to be a fake. Aged like wine though!
posted by Peter H at 1:00 PM on April 24, 2006


Worth sticking it out to the end for the brilliant bit where Homboy rhymes "hoops" with "froot loops," which is one of the finest pieces of lyrical wordsmithery you're likely to find this side of Steve Miller's still-unequalled rhyming of "facts is" and "taxes" in "Take the Money and Run."

The worst of it is that, as a child of the '80s growing up in a small town cursed with very limited consumer choice, I had a sweater kinda like that once. Kids, I've said it before and I'll say it again: There is nothing cute about the '80s.
posted by gompa at 1:02 PM on April 24, 2006



posted by Dr-Baa at 1:08 PM on April 24, 2006


I cannot imagine that dead gaze, ever present in the video, being real nor I can I imagine it not being real. Perhaps its my lack of sleep, but I hold in my head two images, two histories of its creation. They scare me.
posted by jmhodges at 1:09 PM on April 24, 2006


Saw this at the Found Footage Festival in Brooklyn. The sound didn't work for most of it, which made it that much more surreal...
posted by AJaffe at 1:32 PM on April 24, 2006


Clarification: Gizmo might be superficially "cute," but he has the voice of Howie Mandel. He is, then, a slick, candy-coated shell covering pure cultural poison, as is so often the case with curious bits of '80s arcana.

Q.E.D.
posted by gompa at 1:35 PM on April 24, 2006


The sad part is now he actually does live on the streets, smokes crack, and is black.
posted by sonofsamiam at 1:38 PM on April 24, 2006


" Description
With "artists" like the Ying Yang Twins and Mike Jones destroying 20 years of Hip Hop music and culture in one fell swoop, we're going to need a real messiah to come back and cary us into the future. I think we've found that man. Step aside Jay Z, move on Eminem we are proud to present the real prophet of rhymes."
posted by Blingo at 1:40 PM on April 24, 2006


That hurt to watch.
posted by bondcliff at 1:47 PM on April 24, 2006


Imagine how much it hurt to make.
posted by loquacious at 1:48 PM on April 24, 2006


He's got mad flow.
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:51 PM on April 24, 2006


Totally craptastic.
posted by bove at 1:52 PM on April 24, 2006


OK, gompa, what about these?
cute, right?
posted by cilantro at 1:54 PM on April 24, 2006


Imagine how much it hurt to make.

Hopefully a lot.
posted by bondcliff at 1:55 PM on April 24, 2006


Fuck. That was bad. And not a good bad. Just bad. Someone please shoot him, burn down his house and steal his car just so he has some material to, um, rap about. Then again he'd probably just blame it on a box livin' crack addicted black man. Damn, he's livin' hard.
posted by horseblind at 1:57 PM on April 24, 2006


You know, I often wondered where black people lived.
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:00 PM on April 24, 2006


I need that "DON'T HAVE BIG HEAD" graphic for my desktop, though.
posted by shmegegge at 2:02 PM on April 24, 2006


This is one of those situations where a person should have been taught discretion instead of self-esteem.
posted by elderling at 2:07 PM on April 24, 2006


With "artists" like the Ying Yang Twins and Mike Jones destroying 20 years of Hip Hop music and culture in one fell swoop...

Mike Jones!!, Mike Jones!!

Two-Eight-One, Three-Three- Oh, Eight-Zero-Zero-fo' /
Hit Mike Jones up on the low, cause Mike Jones about to blow.


Putting your cell phone number in every mixtape track is pure genius, I don't care what anyone says. Mike Jones can't rap, but fuck, he can market.
posted by SweetJesus at 2:12 PM on April 24, 2006


gompa , i'm with you 100% about the 80s
posted by nola at 2:12 PM on April 24, 2006


Actually reminded me of "It's like that" by Run DMC. Wonder if they ever saw it?
posted by fire&wings at 2:18 PM on April 24, 2006


Genuinely dreadful. I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep tonight now.
posted by MrMustard at 2:24 PM on April 24, 2006


fire&wings, I thought the same exact thing after I'd heard it. I'd guess that Run DMC released their song first, even with the old-school look of this video, so it's most likely that Average Homeboy ripped them off rather than vice versa. Either that or it's just a weird coincidence that makes your head spin a bit. Tougher Than Leather versus Shirtless Mulleted Suburbanite? I think I know who I'd put my money on.
posted by almostcool at 2:28 PM on April 24, 2006


Hey Jose, is that you?
posted by docgonzo at 2:34 PM on April 24, 2006


Shit Sandwich.
posted by dbiedny at 2:34 PM on April 24, 2006


I'm sorry, but were those drums or did someone record a gorilla with an ice machine via a payphone / answering machine?

Average Homeboy should rap his next tracks in sign language. Audio only.
posted by Dark Messiah at 2:49 PM on April 24, 2006


posted by sucka_mc

can we add this to that list of awesome continuity between post and poster, please? Someone?
posted by nylon at 2:52 PM on April 24, 2006


Not as good as the Vietnamese rap stylings of Chuckie Akenz...
posted by First Post at 2:56 PM on April 24, 2006


nylon, the word you are looking for is eponysterical.
posted by jmhodges at 3:01 PM on April 24, 2006


Did this guy remind you of this guy? Maybe it was just the bad 80s haircut, but I think they both had a certain creepy stare in their eyes.
posted by theorique at 3:14 PM on April 24, 2006


Oh, that's great, theorique!
posted by brundlefly at 3:26 PM on April 24, 2006


It's really crazy seeing this video now that he's so famous.
posted by quadog at 3:44 PM on April 24, 2006


How about some good White Hip Hop.


Jonathan Swift's a Modest Proposal.

Rich People think baby flesh is delicious.
posted by sourbrew at 4:15 PM on April 24, 2006


Marky Marx.
posted by Eideteker at 4:16 PM on April 24, 2006


also I guess that's sort of a self link, but I didn't post the video.
posted by sourbrew at 4:18 PM on April 24, 2006


Damn, that WAS blazin'!
posted by sluggo at 4:46 PM on April 24, 2006


If sucka_mc's 5 Mefi comments weren't so lucid, one might almost suspect this was the "sleeper-cell" method of self-linking.

Almost.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 4:54 PM on April 24, 2006


geez, quit trippin' on metafilter
posted by foot at 5:13 PM on April 24, 2006


mr_crash_davis: you got me. I'm just trying to get my music career off the ground.
posted by sucka_mc at 5:13 PM on April 24, 2006


Worth sticking it out to the end for the brilliant bit where Homboy rhymes "hoops" with "froot loops," which is one of the finest pieces of lyrical wordsmithery you're likely to find this side of Steve Miller's still-unequalled rhyming of "facts is" and "taxes" in "Take the Money and Run."

I prefer that Flickr music video from a little while ago which rhymes "Slurpees" and "herpes."
posted by danb at 5:39 PM on April 24, 2006


You know, I didn't think anyone could be a worse rapper than Dee Dee Ramone, and then someone had to post this...
posted by sparkletone at 5:47 PM on April 24, 2006


finest pieces of lyrical wordsmithery you're likely to find this side of Steve Miller's still-unequalled rhyming of "facts is" and "taxes"

My own personal favourite? From Clivilles and Cole, 'Get Dumb':

"The music's pumpin'
I'm Donald Trumpin'
Gettin' paid,
Buildin' sumpin'..'
posted by PeterMcDermott at 5:50 PM on April 24, 2006


Putting your cell phone number in every mixtape track is pure genius

And not just on his own material either. He even works it into his contribution to Missy Eliott's last album:

"I'm who, Mike Jones, WHO? Mike Jones
WHO? Mike Jones and I can't be cloned
2-8-1, 3-3-oh, 8-zero-zero-fo'
That's my cell phone number, hit me on the low.."

According to my teenage daughters, the most embarrassing thing about having me for a father is that I like the first Mike Jones album. Whenever they want to diss me, I get this:

"Dad's gonna be listenin' to Mike Jones with his homies down at the old folks home..."
posted by PeterMcDermott at 6:01 PM on April 24, 2006


I think the Raid people should come calling, actually.
posted by jmcneilly at 6:05 PM on April 24, 2006


I am overwhelmed with emotion.

My exterminator is a can of raid.
posted by Paris Hilton at 7:40 PM on April 24, 2006


~Steve Miller's still-unequalled rhyming of "facts is" and "taxes" in "Take the Money and Run."~

Actually, this rhyme was done before by Marvin Gaye in "Inner City Blues"... "Natural fact is, I can't pay my taxes..."
not plural form of fact, mind you- but done in 1970, I believe...
posted by priested at 7:41 PM on April 24, 2006


"I prefer that Flickr music video from a little while ago which rhymes 'Slurpees' and 'herpes.'"

That's The Pharcyde's "Soulflower". And if anyone has a music video link for that, hook me up, because I love that song.
posted by Eideteker at 8:09 PM on April 24, 2006


gompa & priested, neither Steve Miller nor Marvin Gaye can hold a candle to John Linnel :

"Nevada, Nevada, the dream of every girl
Nevada, Nevada, the acorn and the squirrel"
posted by Pinback at 8:58 PM on April 24, 2006


Speaking of unequalled rhyming, I give you T.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 9:51 PM on April 24, 2006


"That's The Pharcyde's "Soulflower". And if anyone has a music video link for that, hook me up, because I love that song." - Eideteker

flickr song
posted by sourbrew at 11:01 PM on April 24, 2006


I bought Built to Spill's You in Reverse recently but I don't like it as much as the promo I downloaded beforehand. on the download version about every 30 seconds throughout Mike Jones chimes in with his "Who is Mike Joooones?!?!" it really rounds out the feeling of the album, IMHO.

Also, I hear there's gonna be a Mike Jones/Doug Martsch/Tom Verlaine collab album later this year.
posted by carsonb at 11:17 PM on April 24, 2006


"The Flickr Song" is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. A million thankyous, sourbrew.
posted by interrobang at 10:14 AM on April 25, 2006


Average Homeboy is no Rappy McRapperson, that's for sure.
posted by illovich at 11:53 AM on April 25, 2006


Is it booty time yet?
posted by Dr-Baa at 1:02 PM on April 25, 2006


Damnit, jmhodges stayed up all night and now his quantum uncertainty has bifurcated the fucking continuum again.
posted by nanojath at 1:30 PM on April 25, 2006


"Is it booty time yet?"

Booty time, booty time
'cross the USA
Booty time, booty time
Hey ey ey
posted by mr_crash_davis at 2:30 PM on April 25, 2006


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