Grizzapole, Pizzly, Grolar Bear, Grolar, Polargrizz?
May 11, 2006 3:30 PM   Subscribe

Meet the grolar bear (via)
posted by reklaw (38 comments total)
It begins.
posted by TwelveTwo at 3:36 PM on May 11, 2006

Stephen Colbert is shitting his pants right now...
posted by SweetJesus at 3:37 PM on May 11, 2006

Polar bears and grizzlies have been successfully paired in zoos before - Stirling could not speculate why - and their offspring are fertile.
I love how they slipped in the question "why would anyone do such a thing?!"
posted by aubilenon at 3:39 PM on May 11, 2006

I think "Pizzly Bear" would have been funnier.
posted by Astro Zombie at 3:39 PM on May 11, 2006

The DNA results were good news for Martell [the hunter], who had paid $50,000 for guides and a permit to hunt polar bear. Before the tests came back, the 65-year-old hunter was facing the possibility of a $1,000 fine and up to a year in jail for shooting a bear for which he had no permit — as well as the disappointment of an expensive hunting trip with no trophy.

Cry me a river... What a douchebag.
posted by pkingdesign at 3:40 PM on May 11, 2006

I think you mean, "Say goodbye to the grolar bear."
posted by soiled cowboy at 3:41 PM on May 11, 2006

Had fun with the tags, did we?
posted by luftmensch at 3:43 PM on May 11, 2006

For some reason the I found the wording of the standard wikipedia notice stating that the article was a stub and in need of expansion to be very funny.
"This article about a mammal is a stub. "
Is it just me, or do the words 'mammal' and 'stub' strike anyone else as amusing? Maybe I should get some sleep.
posted by Grod at 3:44 PM on May 11, 2006

Grizzapole will come to good use.
posted by TwelveTwo at 3:45 PM on May 11, 2006

Phew, yeah. Good thing someone found something so rare then killed it right away.
posted by driveler at 3:51 PM on May 11, 2006

posted by StrasbourgSecaucus at 3:54 PM on May 11, 2006

Your mother was a polar bear, and your father smelled of elderberry.
posted by Eekacat at 3:58 PM on May 11, 2006

now we know what's bothering gus ... no grizzly bear nookie
posted by pyramid termite at 4:16 PM on May 11, 2006

So which was the father?
posted by Crabby Appleton at 4:42 PM on May 11, 2006

Pretty sad story, all said.

I realize this isn't scientific of me, but I can't help but think that the reason a grizzly mated with a polar bear is two fold.

1) Their numbers are dwindling and it's harder to find a mate.

2) Their habitats are being pushed into more concentrated zones.
posted by rougy at 5:13 PM on May 11, 2006

Crabby Appleton, if you'd RTFA you'd see that the father was a grizzly. Of course, it is much more cool to post ignorantly.
posted by Eekacat at 5:15 PM on May 11, 2006

No, Eeekacat, I think your post was much cooler.
posted by Crabby Appleton at 5:44 PM on May 11, 2006

Polar bears are having a bitch of a time because their ice is melting too soon. Forever and a day, the Polars have migrated via the ice floes before spring breakup. The instinct to take a path via the bay is so strong that Polars are dying because they try to swim out to the non-existant ice.

I guess the smarter breed of Polar are sticking to the shoreline, where they're bumping into the Grizzes.

Eekacat & Crabby, take it to a private room, please. kthx.
posted by five fresh fish at 5:52 PM on May 11, 2006


Agreed, and that's what I call it--besides, calling it a "pizzly bear" suggests it is especially well-endowed, which in the backwoods parlance of sexual conquest means it is one incredibly kickass critter.

(Of course, we could have called it Pozzie Bear and tried to teach it jokes, too...maybe calling it Ponzi Bear would have provided, uh, better returns?)

Agreed, though, that shooting the poor critter was a tragic waste.
posted by trigonometry at 6:17 PM on May 11, 2006

Only if you join us, five fresh fish, and play the polar bear.
posted by Eekacat at 6:27 PM on May 11, 2006

Yeah, what Driveler said.
posted by sjvilla79 at 7:11 PM on May 11, 2006

posted by BlackLeotardFront at 8:26 PM on May 11, 2006

Yeah, this is sad.

btw global warming is still totally unconfirmed!!111 scientific community is conspiring!!11 scalar energy!11
posted by blacklite at 8:43 PM on May 11, 2006

For more on bears mating, see usenet group
posted by jewzilla at 9:38 PM on May 11, 2006

Somewhere in Ontario, Troy Hurtubise is designing a new suit to cope with the rigors of grolar-bear research.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 10:04 PM on May 11, 2006

Humans are such frikken jerks sometimes.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 10:12 PM on May 11, 2006

I would easily pay 25$ for one of its claws!
posted by I Foody at 10:16 PM on May 11, 2006

Meet the grolar bear

I think "Pizzly Bear" would have been funnier

Both terms sound like they were invented by gangsta rappers.
posted by dgaicun at 10:45 PM on May 11, 2006

I'll bet its gall bladder would fetch a fortune in Asia, 'cause it's like an aphrodisiac. Apparently all rare animals contain at least one part that's an aphrodisiac. So we should be sure to kill everything rare, because somewhere there's a guy what needs him a erection. And the cool thing is that the more of them you kill, the rarer they get, and so their aphrodisiac proppetys get more stronger, and we can kill the rest for more money and more serious wood!
posted by George_Spiggott at 10:49 PM on May 11, 2006

For more on bears mating, see usenet group

This comment is a trap! Watch out!
posted by Mr. Six at 2:10 AM on May 12, 2006

now the burning question is who would win in a fight a grolar bear or a liger?
posted by stilgar at 4:47 AM on May 12, 2006

I'm gonna have to go with the grolar bear on that one. It is bulky enough to take lots of damage from the liger.
posted by sciurus at 5:28 AM on May 12, 2006

This reminds me of the Far Side cartoon where the hunter shoots the bear while it is having a drink of water, and completely unaware of the hunter.
The bear is the stuffed and mounted in an extremely threatening pose.
Sad. Leave the fucking bears alone.
posted by Joeforking at 6:02 AM on May 12, 2006 awesome find like that... and they shot the poor bastard?! gah...
posted by Doorstop at 6:22 AM on May 12, 2006

To be fair, unless you're Timothy Treadwell you're probably not going to do much else but shoot it. If I was anywhere near that thing, I wouldn't be running away.
posted by danb at 6:45 AM on May 12, 2006

George_Spiggott: It appears to me, after checking, that neither bears nor erections are not in short supply...
posted by peeedro at 10:05 AM on May 12, 2006

I’d mate with a polar bear....

Say, I wonder what the permit costs are?

Checkmark this guy next to ‘people I don’t want on my side of the “hunting good’ argument.”
posted by Smedleyman at 2:52 PM on May 12, 2006

Stephen Colbert, The Word: Except Drowning Polar Bears
posted by five fresh fish at 11:25 AM on May 13, 2006

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